25 Spouses reveal the moment they knew they married the wrong person: 'First dance at the wedding, zero chemistry or emotions, it was a nightmare I’ll never forget'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
May 16, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

As time goes on, people's attitudes towards marriage are changing big time. Lots of folks are waiting longer to tie the knot for a bunch of reasons. They want to make sure they've found the right person, save up for the big day, or just live on their own for a while before settling down. Those are all good reasons. Back in the day, couples used to get hitched in their early 20s and start a family right away. But with divorce rates so high these days, it seems like waiting until you're really ready is the smarter move. But there's still a ton of pressure from society when we see our friends getting married and having kids. It can make us feel like we're falling behind. 

But check out these stories below – they'll give you even more reasons to wait until you're totally sure about marriage. These people reveal the exact moment they knew they'd married the wrong person, and let me tell you, these stories are wild. From realizing there was no spark during their first dance to finding out eight years later that their partner only married them for their money, you'll definitely want to hear these stories. Whether you're single or married, you can spare yourself some heartache by learning from these folks' mistakes.

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  • 01
    • r/ask 2 days ago Embarrassed-Floor407 At what moment did you realize you married the wrong person? Married or divorced or soon to be so at what moment did you realize you married the wrong person?
    via u/Embarrassed-Floor407
  • 02
    Hey Yall_4792 • 2d ago On our honeymoon I got sun stroke and he said, Thanks for ruining my vacation.
    via u/HeyYall_4792
  • 03
    NoCardiologist1461 • 2d ago When I put away the groceries in the kitchen and I thought 'Well, it may be convenient to put a box of tissues in the kitchen cabinet, in case I'm here when I'm crying.' Massive reality check when I realized how f'ed up that was. Divorced not much later.
    via u/NoCardiologist1461
  • 04
    lanltz • 2d ago Engaged not quite married yet. When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son, after having emergency surgery for nearly bleeding to death after a miscarriage, and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said "why aren't the dishes done?" Called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. Hightailed it out of there 2 weeks later.
    via u/IanItz
  • 05
    Kfaith629 • 2d ago We had been married for 8 years when my ex-husband, in a drunken moment of painful honesty, decided to tell me he only married me for my considerable inheritance. Bye.
    via u/Kfaith629
  • 06
    50% Loud-Demand2725 • 2d ago When she sat me down and with a straight face said "I've thought about this and you're not going to exercise anymore." I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring kids with in running stroller. She said you're a father and it's too time consuming. That's when I realized I made a terrible mistake lol. Catching her with another man in my car didn't help the case to stay married.
    via u/Loud-Demand2725
  • 07
    Shiddy_Wiki ⚫2d ago On the flight home from the honeymoon. Missed our flight because she had to argue about everything. Got upgraded to first class.. the wine was truth serum. Kids, ALWAYS trap yourself on a boat with someone for a week BEFORE you legally entangle yourself!
    via u/Shiddy_Wiki
  • 08
    Objective-Limit-6749 • 2d ago My brother had a very bad accident which ended up killing him. He lived about 14hrs away from me. I didn't make it in time after receiving the call. The day after he died my ex called me and gave me for not running the errands I said I was going to do the day that my brothers accident happened. Specifically, I didn't buy kitty litter and it is very heavy for her to carry. She didn't even ask how I was doing or show any empathy whatsoever. That's when I knew
    via u/Objective-Limit-6749
  • 09
    GinnyMcJuicy • 2d ago When our marriage counselor recommended that my ex punch pillows or tear paper, instead of picking stupid fights with me when he was feeling anxious/angry/discontent. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "it's what I recommend for children who have trouble controlling themselves." ... nope. Done.
    via u/GinnyMcJuicy
  • 10
    YourNextStep... • • 2d ago ⚫ Edited 2d ago On my wedding day, when my Grandad and Uncle told me that I didn't have to marry my ex-husband and they'd drive me home. And, to not worry about being embarrassed or the money. They'd explain everything to the guests and I wouldn't have to do anything. edit: we did get married and we divorced later. Sorry, my OP was unclear!
    via u/YourNextStepmom3
  • 11
    • justdisposablefun ⚫ 2d ago I made a small ring holder in wood working when I was 14, my teacher looked at it and said "wow, you should keep that and give that to your wife" and I thought that was a good idea, and considered it romantic. It was admittedly a simple piece... but it all came. together quite well and looked elegant. I looked after it for 15 years and gave it to her on our wedding night along with the back story of why it was special. She looked at me and said, "Why would I want thi
    via u/justdisposablefun
  • 12
    LastSignificance3680 • 2d ago When he stayed out every day from 7am until midnight
    via u/LastSignificance3680
  • 13
    NoUnderstanding8961 • 2d ago When I realized he hated his mom so much that he was punishing every girl he'd been with to get back at his mom. He was happy when he was hurting his past partners (including me) by cheating, using prositutes, playing mind games etc. Actually, I think he just hated women in general.
    via u/NoUnderstanding8961
  • 14
    The_GeneralsPin • 2d ago This is a thread where single people really shouldn't be on, and also really should be on.
    via u/The_GeneralsPin
  • 15
    avengers_sevenfold • 2d ago Edited 2d ago She was unemployed, I was working full time. No children, just a couple of cats that mostly I took care of. Since she didn't want to handle cat situation for a few years. We did our best to split chores. This was the But we had a housekeeper twice a week so it wasn't a lot of chores split between us.
    via u/avengers_sevenfold
  • 16
    One day she said "hey, can you clean the living room before you go to work, I need to be at home all day and I prefer if it's clean" I just snapped mentally and felt like I'm being taken advantage off Little edit: My wife was unemployed due to unfortunate string of illness. She wasn't lazy, and cleaning was hard for her. It to be but life sometimes isn't what we want it
    via u/avengers_sevenfold
  • 17
    Mysterious_Tax_5613 • 2d ago I didn't learn it until my husband of 11 years divorced me. All the signs were there:, infidelity, not giving me respect, .....yet, out of financial fear of getting a divorce with no love towards him I stayed. My fears I held on to washed away with every misstep I took in being a single woman. I had to learn how to put me first. It wasn't always easy, for every misstep I took, I learned from it and only grew more independent. Oddly enough, I met my second husband, To
    via u/Mysterious_Tax_5613
  • 18
    We were married from 2004-2012 until we found out he had colon cancer in 2007. For the next years and up to his death he was on a different "cocktail" of chemo, only being in remission for 6 months. I met my soulmate who showed me unconditional love until he took his last breath. And, I took care of him unconditionally. How lucky am I?
    via u/Mysterious_Tax_5613
  • 19
    BilbosBagEnd 2d ago I don't like to think of a person I once loved as wrong. We grew apart. She led a frivolous lifestyle that I enabled, and it went hand in hand with my, back then, self-sacrificing nature. I worked long hours to provide after having discussions with her to maybe be more mindful about spending, especially since she didn't work, neither at home nor outside, that includes childcare, I did almost all of it from the beginning. But alas, love can blind one, especially someone with a
    via u/BilbosBagEnd
  • 20
    We sat down on an especially harsh day for me, working for a good 16 hours. I came home and put our son to bed after I prepared dinner for us. She told me she found someone who appreciates her and spends time with her and that I am an awful husband. I moved into a smaller place with my son. She lives with that guy now. It broke me very much, but I am better now.
    via u/BilbosBagEnd
  • 21
    Slow_Owl810 • 2d ago Word of advice for anyone thinking of blending families. If your new SO shows any sign they will make you pick between them and your children from the previous relationship that's the reddest of red flags. Do NOT continue that relationship.
    via u/Slow_Owl810
  • 22
    austinbitchofanubis • 2d ago When I found out he had been living a full double life and was in a secret satanic cult, had a long term mistress and was using prostitutes. 362 ⇓ ☐ Reply stuckintheinitial214 • ↑ Share ... 2d ago That'll do it
    via u/austinbitchofanubis
  • 23
    Lower_Pace6416 2d ago Got off the plane in Hawaii for our honeymoon. Rented a convertable and stopped at a scenic over look. She didn't appreciate the moment at all. I knew right then and there I made the worst mistake of my life. I knew it
    via u/Lower_Pace6416
  • 24
    gs12 • 2d ago First dance at the wedding, zero chemistry or emotions, it was a nightmare I'll never forget.
    via u/gs12
  • 25
    CompactDisc1812 • 2d ago • Edited 2d ago I made excuses for her shortcomings, ignoring the red flags that existed. I got engaged because my friends were getting engaged, and I had my doubts even then. Once we were married, I realized that it wasn't just a different way of dating, it was more permanent. Those red flags that existed before were now part of our lives. And then she cheated on me. We didn't divorce then, I tried to salvage everything and she tried to make amends, but what we had was
    via u/CompactDisc1812
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    Cheezburger Image 9922875392
    via Jeremy Wong

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