Stepmom refuses to make anything but tuna sandwiches for 18-year-old stepdaughter, controlling husband cuts her off financially: 'She is sleeping in the guest room'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 26, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Tuna sandwiches are perhaps an acquired taste for many. Unless you grew up with them, they might seem like a gross-out food. Or if you did grow up with them, and had to eat them after they'd rotted in your lunchbox for a couple hours, then you really might feel that way. Either way, most people would probably agree that they're a lunch food, and if you eat it for dinner, that might classify as a "struggle meal." But hey, it's cheap and easy protein, so don't knock it 'til you try it. 

But foisting a tuna sandwich upon another, now that's a different story. That's what happened to one family, in a drama that unfolded on Reddit. Not only was tuna a star player, but it set the scene for a juicy marriage argument. Commenters weren't sure which side to choose. Read on and see for yourself which side you would choose. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9927233280
    via Alyson McPhee
  • 02
    Posted by u/Cool-Cry3937 2 hours ago AITA for not giving more money to my wife? I have an 18yo daughter and a 17yo stepdaughter.
    via u/Cool-Cry3937
  • 03
    When my wife and I got married we had some agreements including that cooking will be her job since she is a SAHM and I'm the breadwinner. The problem is that my wife makes tuna sandwiches twice a week. I don't hate tuna but at this point I'm starting to hate it because of how often I eat it. My daughter hates tuna. She is not picky. This is the only things she hates.
    via u/Cool-Cry3937
  • 04
    Well my wife claims that it's her daughter's favorite food so we need to get used to eating it. Yesterday I come home from work, my daughter is eating a burger and fries. I hate fast food, she knows she is not allowed to eat junk food. I ask her why she is not eating the food my wife made? She says because it was tuna again. I asked my wife why she didn't cook anything else for her? She shrugs
    via u/Cool-Cry3937
  • 05
    and says she already cooked one meal and won't make another meal. She then asked me for money to go shopping for herself. I tell her I gave her money yesterday so I'm not giving her more money today. If she won't do her job well then why would I do mine? Plus she just wanted money to buy a Gucci bag or something like that.
    via u/Cool-Cry3937
  • 06
    I told her since she is only doing the minimum and not feeding my child well then I'm also doing the minimum from now on, so no luxuries for her. She will only get the essentials. She got angry and called me an and said it's not her job to feed my kid. I said it's not my job to feed yours either. She is sleeping in the guest room now and won't talk to me.
    via u/Cool-Cry3937
  • 07
    Prom_queen52 - 2 hr. ago NTA, but your wife sure is. Nobody needs to eat tuna sandwiches twice a week, but your 18 year old daughter should be able to cook something for herself without resorting to fast food. I'd suggest your wife get a job to pay for her Gucci bags, and work with your daughter on what ingredients she'd like her to get while doing the family shopping. This relationship dynamic makes me tired.
    via u/Prom_queen52
  • 08
    snickerdoodle_25 26 min. ago I work, have my own business, and I make dinner most nights. Not tuna sandwiches. Dinner doesn't have to be fancy to be effective. And I'm not wasting my time making stuff I know my husband or son won't eat.
    via u/snickerdoodle_25
  • 09
    • Cool-Cry3937 OP 2 hr. ago I hate it when I come home and it's tuna AGAIN. My daughter can cook but she hates it and well it's not her job. My wife and I agreed that it would be her job if she became a SAHM when we don't have small kids.
    via u/Cool-Cry3937
  • 10
    AwarenessUnited 7390 41 min. ago ESH. Not you daughter's job? It's everyone's job to be develop some self-sufficiency skills. Your wife is a for cooking something she knows you two dislike, but your post reeks of transactional relationships and dysfunction.
    via u/AwarenessUnited7390
  • 11
    Ok-Vacation2308 45 min. ago Really setting daughter up for success there, bud. There are lots of things we hate in life but need to learn to be successful adults.
    via u/Ok-Vacation2308
  • 12
    Used Mark_7911 41 min. ago • Anybody over 10 years old should be able to make themselves a sandwich. It's a necessary life skill.
    via u/Used_Mark_7911
  • 13
    Parasamgate 2 hr. ago ESH. These are different issues and one shouldn't be tied to the other. There's the issue about why your wife is making food your daughter doesn't like, and issue of is she's lying about it or not, the issue of if never having fast food is a hill to die on and the general issue of you controlling the money and what that symbolizes.
    via u/Parasamgate
  • 14
    Then there's the bigger issue of you using your money control/withdraw support for her and her withdrawing her affection because she's upset. You both seem like you learned some unhealthy response patterns and are in a contractive loop, instead of seeing marriage as an expansive joint adventure. This goes deeper than a sandwich and a purse. Even if she got the purse it would distract her for a little while then the dissatisfaction would come back.
    via u/Parasamgate
  • 15
    Welford Nelferd · 2 hr. ago NTA. Your wife isn't holding up her end of the bargain, and making tuna sandwiches sure as isn't "cooking".
    via u/WelfordNelferd
  • 16
    Prudent_Fold190 2 hr. ago . edited 2 hr. ago ESH You are using money as a way to control your wife. Your wife is a SAHM for 2 basically adults, so if that's her end of the deal the least she can do is make food you all enjoy, and yes it literally is her job to feed your kid. Also seems like she taking advantage of your money if she's just buying a Gucci bag on a random Wednesday like it's no big deal.
    via u/Prudent_Fold190
  • 17
    Your daughter is 17, she should be learning how to cook for herself, that really important life skills at her age. There's a definite power imbalance that can only be resolved if your wife gets a job.
    via u/Prudent_Fold190
  • 18
    Edit to add because I think it needs to be said: tuna sandwiches is not a dinner meal, that's a lunch meal...you don't eat tuna sandwiches for dinner unless you are on a really tight budget, which by the Gucci bag thing I'm guessing you are not.
    via u/Prudent_Fold190
  • 19
    OhmsWay-71 1 hr. ago. You are both . You have financial abuse written all over your post and your wife sounds like she could not care less about anyone but her and her daughter. Awful. You need therapy to figure out how to better communicate.
    via u/OhmsWay-71
  • 20
    Extreme-Onion6731 1 hr. ago • It's always weird to me when people who obviously don't like each other very much decide to get married. Anyway, without further context regarding your marriage and family dynamic, I don't think it's possible to make a definitive call on this.
    via u/Extreme-Onion6731

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family drama marriage entitled parents cooking teenagers stepmom reddit story family feud married life marriage-drama relationships parenting story family married Parenting Fail parents
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