30 Witty Memes for the Bickering, Nagging Old Married Couples (May 30, 2024)

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  • 01
    Cherish these moments. You'll miss it someday. MY HUSBAND, ON HIS PHONE @WittyOtter MY CHILD, ASKING ME FOR A SNACK ME, IN A FULL BODY CAST
  • 02
    My husband & I were doing yard work but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning
  • 03
    My husband, after he moves the laundry from the washing machine to the dryer. @WittyOtter
  • 04
    Jawbreaker @sixfootcandy Me: Should we have macaroni salad or potato salad at the BBQ? @sixfootcandy Husband: Can we talk about this when we're not having _?
  • 05
    T Very BritishProblems @SoVery British I just heard someone respond to an invite with “no, I'd hate that” and they're my new hero.
  • 06
    Me: I'm not gonna yell as much this year. Me, 7 hours later: RAMBLIN MAMA
  • 07
    WHEN YOU ASK NICELY 20 TIMES AND IT DOESN'T GET DONE THEN YOU YELL, AND THEY ASK WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS YELLING @mommy.meds mommy.meds
  • 08
    Sharna Bremner @sharnatweets Shout out to my neighbour, who just shouted "she's your mother, Steve, you wrap her present" before slamming the front door & is now sitting on her porch with a beer.
  • 09
    JAKE RYAN RUINING EXPECTATIONS OF LOVE SINCE 1984
  • 10
    Marriage And Martinis @MarriageMartini Eight years ago, money was really tight, so my husband and I decided our gifts for each other would be small experiences we could do together rather than material possessions. We've maintained this tradition through the years and it's one of the best things we've done.
  • 11
    Not all of us were made to cook. Some of us were only made to have conversations with the person cooking.
  • 12
    Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 My husband texted that he can't wait to show me the spreadsheet he created with our finances so if anyone is curious about what marriage is like after 20 years, this is it.
  • 13
    This could be us but we buy bread openlygayanimals
  • 14
    Me waving at my neighbors like they haven't just heard me cuss out my entire household because I found a sock on the floor.
  • 15
    Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg My aunt got a divorce and I asked how she felt and she said "I thought I had an anxiety disorder but it turns out it was just your uncle"
  • 16
    @jacana mommy If I ask you to take a photo of me and you're not prepared to take it like this just hand me my phone back
  • 17
    "What's your favorite position in bed?" Me: Near the wall so I can use my phone while it's charging 이
  • 18
    Marriage And Martinis @MarriageMartini Invest in your marriage. We are so willing to spend on houses, cars, and our kids' activities. But then we skimp on vacations alone with our spouse, sitters for date night, and romantic gestures. But if we are willing to put the money and time in, the return will be amazing. >
  • 19
    A bring your own pool party! This is a genius idea! R
  • 20
    Marriage And Martinis @MarriageMartini I told my husband for Father's Day this year I was going to get one of those portable dumpsters in our driveway and give him 24 hours to throw out whatever he wants in the house, and I swear I've never seen him so happy in my twenty years of knowing him. Now I'm really scared.
  • 21
    Q: How old are you? A: Old enough to remember when Kim Cattrall was a mannequin IG:@shepensblog IG:@shepensblog 6 >
  • 22
    Parents trying to figure out if they should pay for summer camp or pay the mortgage @shepensblog < @shepensblog
  • 23
    @oneawkwardmom Me: I am a delightful, easy-going person! My husband: ر
  • 24
    One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom I asked my husband for help picking up before company gets here so naturally he's out replacing the sprinkler heads @oneawkwardmom
  • 25
    Marriage And Martinis @MarriageMartini For so long, I assumed I knew everything about who my husband was. But once we finally started having deep, meaningful conversations during a tough time, I realized that he had actually changed and evolved so much, and that there is always more to understand about each other.
  • 26
    Grant Tanaka @GrantTanaka Txt from wife: where r u Me:kitchen Wife:can u feed cat M: I mean garage W:bring in laundry M:bathroom W:clean toilet M: Idaho W:get potatos
  • 27
    KIND SMART MINDS HEARTS Kind Minds Smart Hearts @kindminds Take your age, round to the nearest decade, and divide by 10. That's how many pillows you need to support your body for a decent night's sleep. >
  • 28
    Growing up I wanted to be Ariel, but now I think I'd rather be her stepmom: @ponyglasses
  • 29
    "Will you decide what's for dinner for the rest of my life?" @bonjourbitchesblog
  • 30
    Kristen | Driving Mom Crazy @DrivingMomBlog I don't know what stage of parenting it's called when your kid corrects @drivingmomcrazy everything you say all day long, including informing you it's 9:01 instead of 9:00, but I'm not into it.

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