Dad hires a 16-year-old babysitter to work overnight, gets cross when she doesn't wake up to tend to 9-month-old crying baby: 'Maybe she should set alarms throughout the night to make sure she's awake'

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    AITA for asking our babysitter to set alarms when she sleeps?
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    My wife and I(34) have three children ages 7, 4 a 9 month old. I work a demanding job(in the medical field) and work many many hours, my wife not so much but she does have night shifts often. We just got a new babysitter a few months ago after our one we had for 2 years moved for college. Our new babysitter is only 16, but she had been babysitting one of my coworkers children for awhile and I trust him.
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    A few nights ago my wife and I were both working nights and I saw on the camera that our babysitter was asleep on the couch and the baby had woken up was crying for almost 30 minutes while she slept. That bothered me, so without talking to my wife when I got home in the morning I had told my babysitter maybe she should set alarms throughout the night to make sure she's awake since the baby monitor didn't wake her and that it was not okay for her to leave the baby crying like that.
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    I guess it hurt the kids feelings because she mentioned it to my wife and my wife is really upset with me because "she's only 16" and what I was asking is unreasonable and that this has never happened before so again I'm being unreasonable and that I should've talked to her first because this could've been a "learning experience.” She also said I was completely out of line as well. I'm really not worried about a learning experience but am worried about the fact if my children are cared for prope
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    Top-Ad-2676 15 hr. ago I am curious why anyone thought a 16 year old would fit the bill of a night nanny? It amazes me that people with money always cheap out when it comes to paying for their children's sitters and nannies. You and your wife are both the YTA in this scenario.
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    waiting2leavethelaw. 14 hr. ago Yeah, 16 is fine for an after school sitter to give older kids a snack and play, but expecting her to wake up to tend to a crying baby is nuts
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    DevoutandHeretical 14 hr. ago I was an overnight baby sitter once when I was 13 because the mom was a single mom, the daughter of a friend of my mom's, and really needed the extra cash she got from working her bar on NYE. She offered to pay me really well and despite my mom's reservations she agreed to let me do it.
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    For a litany of reasons that had little to directly do with the mom herself or her adorable kid, it ended up being a shitshow that was potentially very dangerous for me and my mom refused to let me come back to babysit for them at all for months.
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    Now at the age of 30 I cannot understand why that was a good idea in ANYONES mind at all, and I'd even be skeptical of letting a 16yo do such a job. (My mom recognizes how dumb it was now we're all good on that front).
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    Smitty_Science. 13 hr. ago My daughter is 17. This makes me see red. She's a kid. No she can't set f$@&ing alarms in the middle of the night. What a major AH. ΥΤΑ
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    SheComesThenSheGoes 11 hr. ago. edited 11 hr. ago Not to mention that her setting alarms is useless. If she sets an alarm for 8 but the baby wakes crying at 9. Shell be asleep again and might not hear. These people are AHS. I'm VERY curious what they are paying this minor to watch a bunch of kids, toddlers and babies overnight.
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    regus0307 9 hr. ago This makes me wonder if he actually wants her to stay awake the entire night and the alarms are just in case she does fall asleep.
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    What-problem. 8 hr. ago That's what I took from it too, that he expects the 16 year old to stay awake all night in anticipation of his children crying. But 16 year olds need sleep too. I can't imagine staying awake all night is good for a 16 year olds development, mental health or wellbeing.
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    Lower-Consequence . 11 hr. ago OP has said in the comments that they pay $20/hour.
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    Prize Vegetable_1276. 10 hr. ago Should be more for that schedule.
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    nooniewhite 12 hr. ago Would you be ok that he is videotaping her sleep? That's what gets me, I would absolutely like to see a disclosure form if they wanted to record my kid while he is sleeping, so they could get it crammed up there lol. No one is touching on the creepiness of her being- allowed to sleep- clearly where she should be sleeping (no other areas set up for her overnight?) so they can video tape her asleep.
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    jjjjjjj30. 11 hr. ago Having Nanny cams in the living room is extremely normal. It's not like he's hiding behind the couch "recording" her with his phone. He's checking the live nanny cam that is there for his children's safety. I would personally NEVER have any type of baby sitter or nanny in my home and watching my children without live cameras.
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    I do think they're AH's for having a 16 year old nanny though.
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    Warm_Tiger_8587. 13 hr. ago Came here to say this, why would you leave an infant at home with another child as it's caregiver and then expect to receive the standard of care you'd get from a professional nanny? This isn't a professional nanny, it's a high schooler. If you want your kids to receive the care a professional nanny would provide, pay for that care!
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    Novel Ad1943 · 13 hr. ago THIS! Not to mention, this so-called health professional seems to have ignored the rotation on adolescent medicine where it's explained they need 9hrs of SOLID sleep. Due to development at that age, they sleep heavily and aren't going to have the same ability to wake easily for a crying infant and asking her to wake herself repeatedly during the night (disrupting the natural sleep cycles and limiting REM cycles) gives me about as much confidence in this person's medical
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    lo-labunny 12 hr. ago I agree fully with this. As a 14 year old, I was once tricked into an overnight job. A couple I regularly sat for referred me to their friends. Super wealthy area of town, and I was always paid really well. I agreed to babysit two grade school kids and ended up with that + two in diapers. The parents were out until 4 am partying. They were supposed to be home by 9 pm. Despite constantly calling them, I was there all night. I eventually fell asleep and woke up to them scream
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    pay me a cent. They eventually gave me $20. I still remember the couple that referred them telling me their friends said I was irresponsible and fired me too. It doesn't matter that I did a babysitting course and was first aid certified, I never should have been in that situation. While you didn't yell at her, you still scolded a child after putting them in a dangerous situation. Asking a 16 year old, a child, to be responsible for a baby overnight is unhinged. Hire a proper nanny. YTA. So is yo
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    SnooBunnies 7461 · 16 hr. ago YTA. You have a 16 yr old who I'm assuming is also a high school student watching 3 children overnight. She fell asleep (which was to be expected) and the baby monitor didn't wake her up. The correct answer would be that you need a new baby monitor that will wake her up not for her to set an alarm that goes off every so often all night. If that's no acceptable to you then its time to hire an overnight nanny who is an adult instead of hiring a child to watch children
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    kawaeri 11 hr. ago No to the new monitor. What he needs to do is hire an adult that will be up during the night when the kids are being watched, because they work during the night and are sleep during the day because they don't have to go to school.

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