‘I’m not letting you be a stay-at-home mom’: Woman Unexpectedly Gets Pregnant, He Refuses to Let Her Quit Her Job, Saying She’ll Get ‘Too Attached to the Baby’

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    r/AITAH • 20 hr. ago ThrowRA5465654 AITAH for not allowing my gf to be a sahm even thought I could afford to?
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    My (29M) GF (23F) emily and I have been dating for four years and have lived together since last October. She graduated from college last year and was able to get a job that paid an okay salary for an entry-level position. She didn't like the job too much, but she mentioned that it had good opportunities for promotions and
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    would look good on her resume, so she hoped to move on to more interesting work that she is more passionate about soon. This January, my GF became pregnant with a girl by accident. It was unplanned, and we considered abortion but decided to keep the baby. We have since been preparing for the birth. We have
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    good relationships with both my and her parents, and both sets of parents have said they would be willing to babysit our daughter for free. Recently, my GF told me that she would like to quit her job after the baby is born to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). Her reasons for doing so were:
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    1. She is getting very attached to our baby even though it's not born yet, and the idea of dropping her off with a babysitter, even if that babysitter is one of our parents who we know will take good care of it, makes her want to cry.
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    2. Her mom was a SAHM, which allowed her to have home-cooked meals every day and do lots of fun stuff that she couldn't do with a babysitter. She wants to provide the same experience for our daughter.
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    3. She no longer likes her job and is unsure if she even wants to continue down the same career path. She regrets her major in accounting and wishes she had majored in something she is passionate about instead of something that just makes good money.
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    4. I recently got a promotion to a supervisory position in my company that came with a pay raise of nearly forty thousand dollars, so I can afford to support her and our daughter.
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    5. She didn't say it, but one of her friends recently gave birth and became a SAHM, so I'm sure that influenced her decision.
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    She also tried to convince me by saying I would get more and every day now that she would have more free time and energy for which I admit was tempting, and that she could cook all my favorite meals and do all the chores.
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    I said no for a few reasons: 1. We were planning to buy a house in the next couple of years, and with me being the only one working, that would set us back by years in getting one.
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    2. I grew up poor. During my entire childhood, I only went to the movie theater a couple of times because my parents could not afford to take me out to do fun stuff like that often for example. I got a new pair of shoes once a year and bought my clothes from Walmart. With both our incomes, we have
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    been able to enjoy a very nice lifestyle. We both drive nice new cars, go shopping, or to nice restaurants or the movies regularly, and have also been on some nice trips and vacations. With only one income, we would have to curtail our spending by a lot. My GF brought this up, but I don't really want to.
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    With both of us working we can keep are current lifestyle even after the baby. There are many things I still want to do and places I want to go to. And we would have to put all our life plans on hold for several years since my income alone would not be enough. So we would have to wait until I got even
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    more raises, or saved for a long time. 3. I just don't want the pressure of being the only person to provide for my family
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    4. Most people don't like there jobs from what she told me she mainly just does not like her boss and finds the work boring. My mom had to work a physically difficult job well I was a baby. So compared to her and many other women my gf has it easy. Sometimes you just
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    have to suck up having a job you dont like. Also well telling her no, I might have said that the reason why she was feeling so attached to the baby was pregnancy hormones and they would soon pass.. So yeah, not my best choice of words. I mentioned this to my friends and my family. I've been
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    told by some people that a true man provides for his family. And that I'm evil for wanting to seperate a mother from her baby when I could afford to let her stay home. So aita?
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    traumatic_blump... • 13h ago Lol... this whole post shows how woefully unprepared you and your girl are for having a kid. Good luck, OP.
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    Snappy_McJuggs • 14h ago You guys aren't married and so she has 0 protection for herself if you decide you want to leave. She needs to understand the real possibility that people break up, especially after the intense stress a new child brings, and she would be totally screwed.
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    BeachinLife1 • 17h ago The only truly stupid think you've said here is that she will get over being attached to her baby.

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