Potterheads Share Their Favorite Harry Potter Book Quotes in an Amusing Geeky Discussion about the Wizarding World

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
May 30, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

The second I got my first taste of Diagon Alley, I became more invested than I've ever been in Harry Potter.

My cheeks hurt from grinning so wide as I ogled Ollivanders, muttering "Curious but quite stubborn, I see. Hmm, nine inches, willow and phoenix feather, nice and supple…" under my breath. My best friend, Yolanda, bless her heart, just rolled her eyes. We hopped on the Hogwarts Express, me being so excited I might as well be 9 years old all over again. 

"Anything from the trolley, dears?" the witch intoned perfectly. Chocolate frogs for me, naturally! On the way, I pointed out every passing landmark, from the Quidditch pitch ("There's the Gryffindor goalposts, Harry scored the winning goal from there, you know!") to Hagrid's hut. Yolanda swears I could identify every blade of grass in the Forbidden Forest.

The Harry Potter theme park was amazing, but what really stood out to my friend was the way I would quote the books at every opportunity. Below is a thread where Potterheads share their favorite Harry Potter book quotes in an amusing thread, so scroll down and check it out.

On that note, here are the most unpopular wizarding world opinions shared by Potterheads.

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  • 01
    What are some of your favorite funny quotes from the books that you have saved/memorized?
    via u/
  • 02
    Mine: "I'm not going to be mu red,' Harry said out loud. 'That's the spirit, dear,' his mirror said sleepily." Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter 4
    via u/
  • 03
    Dinosalsa 18 hr. ago Ravenclaw There's an excerpt when the Weasleys are hosting the Delacours for Bill and Fleur's wedding and Arthur is described as joyful and mesmerized when Mrs. Delacour was around. Then, Molly grunts at him, or looks at him disapprovingly, or whatever, and the book says Arthur "changed his demeanor to one more suiting the sickbed of a friend" A 129 V Reply Share ...
    via u/Dinosalsa
  • 04
    velawesomraptor OP 16 hr. ago Ravenclaw This made me laugh out loud. I don't think I remember that part from the books haha A 20 V Reply Share ...
    via u/velawesomraptor
  • 05
    Gaskal 17 hr. ago McGonagall aggressively offering cough drops to Umbridge. A 123 ☑ Reply Share velawesomraptor OP 16 hr. ago Ravenclaw Lol love McGonagall ☺ 13 Reply Share ...
    via u/velawesomraptor , u/Gaskal
  • 06
    Med_applicant13 · 14 hr. ago Book 5 Malfoy becomes a prefect and hermione says something along the lines of "he could make life difficult for you" to Harry who responds "I wonder what it would be like to have a difficult life" A 107 Reply Share
    via u/Med_applicant13
  • 07
    NihilVacant 13 hr. ago Harry to Snape: "There is no need to call me sir, Professor." Vernon: "Listening to the news! Again?" Harry: "Well, it changes every day, you see".
    via u/NihilVacant
  • 08
    Umbridge: "None of your precious teachers, with the possibility of Professor Quirrell, would have passed a ministry inspection". Harry: Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!
    via u/NihilVacant
  • 09
    penguinsrevenge . 17 hr. ago Hufflepuff "yeah well passing over Fred's left but Jck" "I beg your pardon" A 58 Reply Share ...
    via u/penguinsrevenge
  • 10
    joshcart 16 hr. ago Hufflepuff "Alas! Ear wax!" A57 Reply Share ... velawesomraptor OP 16 hr. ago Ravenclaw "I'm sure a nice toffee couldn't hurt" A 18 V Reply Share ...
    via u/joshcart, u/velawesomraptor
  • 11
    Enthoosed 15 hr. ago In book 6 when Harry asks Ginny what kind of tattoo she told Romilda Vane Ron has, and her response was "A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where." Not the biggest Ginny fan, but this always makes me laugh like a lunatic. A 52 Reply Share
    via u/Enthoosed
  • 12
    Shahka_Bloodless . 13 hr. ago 2 Slytherin "Please do not suggest I do not take the safety of my students seriously, Harry." from Dumbledore in HBP. When you consider the rest of the series, it's a good laugh for sure. 51 Reply Share ...
    via u/Shahka_Bloodless
  • 13
    Lyra_La_Rue 15 hr. ago Oh sir, but they made a mistake, they gave you two of same. Dobby to Harry about socks matching ☺☺☺ A. 47 Reply Share
    via u/Lyra_La_Rue
  • 14
    MystiqueGreen 18 hr. ago "I feel like a house-elf," grumbled Ron. "Well, now you understand what dreadful lives they lead, perhaps you'll be a bit more active in SPEW!" said Hermione hopefully, as Mrs. Weasley left them to it. "You know, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to show people exactly how horrible it is to clean all the time - we could do a sponsored scrub of Gryffindor common room, all proceeds to SPEW, it would raise awareness as well as funds." "I'll sponsor you to shut up about SPEW,"
    via u/MystiqueGreen
  • 15
    Human-Magic-Marker 14 hr. ago Gryffindor Have a biscuit, Potter. A 28 Reply Share
    via u/Human-Magic-Marker
  • 16
    Sonia341 11 hr. ago edited 10 hr. ago Here are some of mine: "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to ma 'm, or seriously injure." "You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts...but you cannot deny he's got style..."
    via u/Sonia341
  • 17
    Professor Snape saying Obviously to Dolores Umbridge "Hang on..." Harry muttered to Ron. "There's an empty chair at the staff table.. .. Where's Snape?" "Maybe he's ill!" said Ron hopefully. "Maybe he's left," said Harry, "because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again!" "Or he might have been sacked!" said Ron enthusiastically. "I mean, everyone hates him—"
    via u/Sonia341
  • 18
    "Or maybe," said a very cold voice right behind them, "he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train." Harry spun around. There, his black robes rippling in a cold breeze, stood Severus Snape." Molly Weasley's entire howler scene in COS The entire teacher, including Professor Snape, forcing Gilderoy Lockhart to go and face the monster in the Chambers of Secrets and rescue Ginny (the dialogue in those scene was just pure gold)
    via u/Sonia341
  • 19
    PhoenixorFlame 17 hr. ago Ravenclaw "This did not help." When Harry notices Mrs. Weasley's eyes were exactly the same shade of brown as Ginny's as she interrogates him in the kitchen about abandoning his education in DH. I also thought that line was so funny. Even though I'm almost positive Ginny's eyes were described as a different color in COS but whatever A .23 ☑ Reply Share ...
    via u/PhoenixorFlame
  • 20
    ImJeannette 11 hr. ago Hufflepuff This one always makes me guffaw: "And from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell di, Ron, die — I'm just chucking them in the bin where they belong." A 23 Reply Share ...
    via u/ImJeannette
  • 21
    ChrissaTodd 11 hr. ago Gryffindor this one i wish made the first movie, when the twins come in wearing the jumpers molly got them saying i am paraphrasing a bit as i haven't read that book in a long time "idk why she put the our initials on them though we know our names are gred and forge"
    via u/ChrissaTodd
  • 22
    Accomplished_Video92 10 hr. ago Moaning myrtle: Peeves upset me so much that I came in here and tried to kill myself, and then I remembered that I'm.. . Ron: already dead? A 17 V Reply Share ...
    via u/Accomplished_Video92
  • 23
    ic4llshotg 12 hr. ago "How d'you spell 'belligerent'?" said Ron, shaking his quill very hard while staring at his parchment. "It can't be B-U-M-" "No, it isn't," said Hermione. "And 'augury' doesn't begin O-R-G either." A 17 V Reply Share ...
    via u/ic4llshotg
  • 24
    PukekoInAPungaTree 17 hr. ago Hufflepuff "What a waste of parchment" A 14V Reply Share velawesomraptor OP 16 hr. ago Ravenclaw What was this about again? Reply Share 10642alh 16 hr. ago I think it's when Harry is receiving letters after the interview with Rita is published in The Quibbler. The writer can't make up their mind about whether to believe Harry or not.
    via u/PukekoInAPungaTree, u/velawesomraptor, u/10642alh
  • 25
    Late_Butterfly_1403. 12 hr. ago "No need to call me sir Professor" "Is it true that you yelled at professor umbridge?" "Yes" called her a liar?" "Yes" "have a biscuit Potter?" "Have a what?" "A biscuit" "Give her hell for us Peeves!" "It unscrews the other way" "Would you like a cough drop Delores?" A 12 Reply Share ...
    via u/Late_Butterfly_1403
  • 26
    Ok-Surround-1858 9 hr. ago "We all know Professor Moody considers the morning wasted if he hasn't discovered six plots to mu der him before lunchtime." Even though he was a coward, Karkaroff does have some funny zingers! A 13 113 ☑ Reply Share ...
    via u/Ok-Surround-1858
  • 27
    Chateline-Pheonixean 18 hr. ago "No one asked you to be an insufferably Know it all, Miss Granger" Snape PoA A 19' Reply Share velawesomraptor OP. 13 hr. ago Ravenclaw "It was a mark of how much the class loathed Snape that they were all glaring at him, because every one of them had called Hermione a know-it- all at least once, and Ron, who told Hermione she was a know-it-all at least twice a week, said loudly, 'You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you don't want to be to
    via u/Chateline-Pheonixean, u/velawesomraptor
  • 28
    mtns_beyond_mtns . 11 hr. ago There's the classic, "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU E CH!" 10 Reply Share ...
    via u/mtns_beyond_mtns
  • 29
    madolynpalms. 15 hr. ago "There's no need to call me Sir Professor" Harry to Snape, HBP. Sassy Harry is just the best. A 15 Reply Share ...
    via u/madolynpalms

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quotes amusing Harry Potter hermione granger dumbledore harry potter geeks snape wizarding world wands potterhead professor lupin diagon alley funny Hogwarts hogsmeade
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