‘You can’t control my diet’: Pregnant Woman Being Policed By Her Husband About What She’s Eating, She Turns to Reddit For Advice

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    r/AITAH • 13 hr. ago Sciencster AITAH for not wanting my husband to criticize what I eat during pregnancy?
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    I'm 20 weeks pregnant - everything has gone smoothly so far. All our scans and tests have come back fine. I have gained the exact amount of weight recommended by my Doctor.
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    My husband is fanatical about his health, and on a strict schedule of prepped healthy meals and workouts. Before this pregnancy and now during, I am far less rigid about what I eat. I've never been over or underweight, I take vitamins, get a lot of fruits/vegetables, and am active...however, compared to
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    him I indulge in sweet/fried snacks way more, and my diet is far more erratic. He criticized how I eat before I got pregnant, and it's getting worse with pregnancy. The other day he found a receipt of McDonalds fries in my car, and sent me this text while at work:
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    "I really wish you'd take my wishes into consideration more when it comes to what you feed <future baby name> and with McDonald's fries for lunch after a muffin for breakfast it doesn't really feel like that is happening."
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    AITAH for telling him that I don't want him policing my diet during this pregnancy? Nor ever, but especially while pregnant when I'm already dealing with so many changes in my body and mood fluctuations.
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    If I were majorly over or underweight I would understand. Sure, I could eat healthier, but the way he eats (like an OCD health robot) is not something I aspire to. I also grew up around family members with destructive eating disorders, and I don't want pushy attitudes about food around me or our future daughter.
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    EDIT to include his perspective: He has complained that it's very hard on him to not have control over the pregnancy like I do especially when he is so careful about his own diet. I'm sympathetic to that, but also, the strain I'm under with pregnancy is a lot worse in my opinion.
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    celticmusebooks • 12h ago Send him a text that you are sympathetic to his mental health problems-- but OCD based eating disorders can be mitigated with therapy and medication and that you will no longer entertain
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    ANY discussions on your eating habits under any circumstances. NTA but your husband needs to address his mental health problems before the baby comes.
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    t... 12h ago Edited 12h ago Look, I can't diagnose your husband but if I had $100 to bet, I'd bet all $100 that your husband has a full- blown eating disorder. I've been in intensive eating disorder therapy for half my
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    life - reading your post, I'm seeing every warning light going off. And you are not wrong for how you feel. What he is doing is manipulative, harmful, disgusting, and hurtful. He has no right to
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    speak to you like this. Please speak with a therapist, trusted doctor, or both. Your husband needs help and you need support. I am telling you this as someone clinically diagnosed with anorexia, OCD, and body dismorphia.
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    His mental illnesses are not his fault, but they are his responsibility. And he does not have the right to treat you this way.
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    If you think this isn't a big deal now, ask yourself these very honest questions and give a deeply honest answer: how is he going to try to control what your child eats and how your child looks (not if, how)? What if your child does not physically match his version
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    of 'thin' and 'healthy'? How can his attitudes towards food and body image hurt your child? We both know what it feels like to carry the wounds of other peoples food trauma. Your husband needs to heal, because his hurts won't just go away.
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    imthatfckingbitch • 11h ago He has complained that it's very hard on him to not have control over the pregnancy Why does he think he SHOULD be able to have control over the pregnancy?
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    This is scary to me. I've never met a man who cared at all about what their partners ate while pregnant or wanted to control ANY part of the pregnancy. I'm terrified what his expectations will be for what the child is allowed to eat or what you're allowed to eat if you decide to breastfeed.
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    DismalLocksmith... • 13h ago I think you already know the answer and are just looking for validation. Your husband has no business policing what you eat.
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    Asleep_Koala_3860 • 12h ago NTA but your husband is a controlling weirdo who will only get worse

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