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13 Women Tell The Worst Compliments and Attempts at Flirting They've Ever Seen

I'd recommend not using these the next time you're trying to put the moves on a girl. 

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  • 1
    Walnut - 2877 points 17 hours ago [-] SchrubSchrubSchrub I was at strip club when an incredi bly drunk older guy walked up to me, assured me that I could crack a walnut with my ass cheeks, and then proceeded to ask me for a private dance. I told him I had a nut allergy.
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  • 2
    Drink - E-] bottle_rockets 0 3375 points 15 hours ago I was at a bar with one of my friends and the guy sitting next to me taps me on the shoulder and says that the bartender accidentally gave him an extra drink and he wanted to know if I wanted it. I told him no thanks, I have a drink. He told me he didn't want to waste his money since he was charged for it so I told him to give it to one of his friends next to him. He then laughed and said "Why won't you take it? Its not like I'm gonna rape yo
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  • 3
    Text - [-] thegirlwholikescats 7393 points 17 hours ago A guy told me he was done going out with attractive women and now just wanted to date someone nice instead. Thanks buddy.
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  • 4
    Eyewear - [-] Ames0805 1789 points 15 hours ago I had a guy tell me he worked for the county CIA. Pretty sure that's not a thing.
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  • 5
    Skin - [-] BeckyDaTechie 6767 points 22 hours ago "If it weren't for your belly you'd be Smokin' hot!"
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  • 6
    Text - [-] firestick_and_dick 4825 points 16 hours ago He stole the crutches I needed due to a dislocated kneecap and told me "well you can't run away from me now" MAYER S MELTZER
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  • 7
    Text - [-] natroberts14 6289 points 19 hours ago I had a guy at a bar notice I was Italian, and then proceed to tell me how great Mussolini was before asking me how I would feel about a "naked 30 year man lying on top of me for 30 seconds". I think it was supposed to be a pick up line.
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  • 8
    Skin - [-] FigHewton 8869 points 20 hours ago I had a guy tell me "you were a lot more interesting before you started talking" and then continue to flirt with me. I don't know if that was an attempt at negging or what. CIA
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  • 9
    Food - [ elephant_on_parade 3237 points 17 hours ago Asked a bartender I work with that question a few years back. She had a kid and was single, and a guy asked her if he could "eat her out while rubbing Shea butter over her stretch marks"
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  • 10
    Text - 5359 points 16 hours ago [-] frixum-pullum "I would suck your dads dick just to get a taste of the recipe" what do you say to that???? permalink source embed save save-RES report give gold reply hide child comments [ 0174719397382 8355 points 14 hours ago You give him your dad's number. Who are you to stand in the way of love?
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  • 11
    Wood - -] vodka_berry95 1790 points 16 hours ago "I can eat a whole pencil. Except the metal part." Seventh grade was wild I
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  • 12
    Text - apanda 13.7k points 17 hours ago [-] martianeagle He wrote a love letter/poem to me that included the phrase "Let thy juices secrete". z gadgas
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  • 13
    Text - [-] shinkouhyou0 10.8k points 19 hours ago He told me that we were destined to be together because in several previous lifetimes we'd been teen lesbian lovers in an alternate universe where anime was real. He insisted on calling me by my |"true name" (the name of some shitty anime character he liked) and he would even "correct" my school papers with the "true name." He had a notebook full of stories and drawings about our future life together, and he'd picked out names for our children an
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