Kids Say The... Creepiest Things

  • 1
    Text - thiouis tisnSrets n This is Lisa. She is my friend. See My mom and dad can't see her so they said she is an imaginary friend. Lisa is a nice friend.
  • Advertisement
  • 2
    Face - [-] ToastedCheesee "Go back to sleep, there isn't anything under your bed". "Hes behind you now" Still haven't gotten over that one and shiver at the memory.
  • 3
    Hair - PookiePi 2535 points 4 days ago (792615391) My toddler went through a phase where she would just constantly say 'hi' to things. "Hi hi hi hi hi hi One day, it came out sounding more like "Die die die die die" So I say to her "What's that you're saying?" And she turns to face me and just whispers "Diiiieeeeeee.......
  • 4
    Text - My daughter said to me that there is a woman who watches her watch movies in her room and sleeps on the ceiling above her bed when she sleeps. She also says it does not like me and wants to eat my heart. My kid watches Elmo and fucking Dinosaur Train. Where in the hell did she get this from?
  • Advertisement
  • 5
    Facial expression - When my daughter was 3 she woke up one morning looking rough.I asked if she slept okay and she said, "No! Popaw Mike kept me up all night pinching my toesr My dad, her Popaw Mike, passed away 8 years before she was born and that's how he used to wake my brother and me up when we were little.
  • 6
    Face - (-] hrhomer C 2040 points 4 days ago (4046 | 2006) My niece was sitting on the couch with a weird look on her face. Her mom asked her what she was thinking about, and she said, "I'm imagining the waves of blood rushing over me."
  • 7
    Product - [-benswargle when my son was about 4 or 5 we were in the toilet before his bedtime and he was brushing his teeth and he dropped his tooth brush and i picked it up for him and when my eyes met him he just stared at me and said "dad why does that man have a knife" and pointed behind me. Quickest 180 i've ever fucking done
  • Advertisement
  • 8
    Hair - -] utcursch Reminds me of /u/GeneralOffensiveUnitos from a similar thread: Getting my two and a half year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was she kept her privates clean. She casually replied "Oh, nobody scroofs me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but I fought back. I died and now Im here." She said this like it was nothing. 1515 points 4 days ago (24041889)
  • 9
    People in nature - abluesxs C 611 points 4 days ago (835 |224) I jokingly asked: "What's the best way to get a girlfriend?" 7-year-old's response: "Tell her to be my girlfriend or she'll never see her parents again." permallink source report give gold save-RES reply hide child comments
  • 10
    Face - - falicor Why are you crying? "Bad man" What bad man? "There." Points behind me at a dark corner of the room Lamp on bookshelf next to said darkened corner falls off as soon as I turn to look. She slept in our bed that night
  • Advertisement
  • 11
    Text - I was looking after Jack (A five year old) 5. who said a man named Jacob who dressed like a lumber jack was sitting next to me on the couch. He must have seen the shock in my face, and said "Don't worry, he doesn't have any arms."
  • 12
    Tooth - [-] surethingsugar 528 points 4 days ago (6981170) "Before I was born here, I had a sister, right? Her and my other Mom are so old now. They were ok when the car was on fire, but I sure wasn't!"
  • 13
  • Advertisement
  • 14
    Face - - [deleted] 745 points 1 year ago My two year old has been running from rooms screaming lately. The reason is always "a guy! a guy!" I'd go in the room and ask what was the matter. She would point into the empty room, terrified, whispering "a guy! At first I thought I'd need to rethink everything I thought I believed about ghosts. Then, I realized "a guy" was actually a FLY." She is terrified of flies.
  • 15
    Child - - Like I_was say in 2399 points 4 days ago (670814309) My 3 year old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, "Daddy its a monster..we should bury it." permalink source report give gold save-RES reply hide child comments
  • 16
    Hair - My best friend Lisa died when I was pregnant with my daughter. When my daughter was 3 I heard her laughing.I said, "What are you laughing at?" She said, "Auntie Lisa is making silly faces at me and playing with me."
  • Advertisement
  • 17
    Hair - [-] soapypenguin123 122 points 5 days ago I was babysitting my cousin one time and we were playing dress up so she decided to start making my hair, we were sitting in front of the mirror and the entire time she kept looking at something over my shoulder in the reflection, there was nothing there so after about 10 minutes I asked her what she was staring at and she goes "the tall man, he says he wants to play with you" needless to say i did NOT want to play with him..
  • 18
    Facial expression - [-ljeffholes My daughter would say Spanish curse words in her sleep in a Tony-from-The-Shining voice when she was 5. She didn't know how to speak Spanish when she was awake.


About the Author

Next on CheezCake