Here Are 15 Tweets By British People That Cracked Us Up This Week

  • 1
    Text - Laura Follow @fairycakes In just over 2 years Harry and Meghan have met, fallen in love, moved her entire life to London, had a royal wedding, and got pregnant. I still haven't rehung the towel rail that fell off the wall in 2014. 2:20 AM 15 Oct 2018 17,683 Retweets 120,144 Likes
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  • 2
    Product - Steve Doherty @SteveDoherty1 Follow for trouble. Asking 12:05 PM - 22 May 2018 1,167 Retweets 4,978 Likes
  • 3
    Text - Adam Payne Follow @adampayne26 The petition to make Margaret Thatcher the face of the £50 note has currently got 11,259 signatures. The petititon to get England and Leicester centre back Harry Maguire riding an inflatable unicorn on the £50 note has 15,807. 1:52 AM - 17 Oct 2018 7,418 Retweets 33,732 Likes
  • 4
    Text - Siân Welby Follow @Sianwelby Hi, i'm Sian Welby and up until about 23 years old I called a grapefruit a GREATfruit 1:01 PM - 17 Oct 2018 186 Retweets 2,216 Likes
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  • 5
    Text - Michael Spicer Follow @MrMichaelSpicer At my funeral I want the priest to read out a long bit about how much I loved darts. I don't love darts but my family and friends will be like "wow we never really knew him". 8:55 AM -3 Mar 2018 226 Retweets 1,068 Likes
  • 6
    Text - Boos McGhost Follow @Thiefree You'd think someone would have moved it. In 1999, more than 3,000 people were hospitalised after tripping over a laundry basket. 4:36 AM-21 Mar 2016 1,148 Retweets 2,127 Likes
  • 7
    Text - MOse Allain Follow @MooseAllain "What's the sofa you're sitting on made from?" "It's satin" "Sorry what's the sofa you're sat in made from? 7:18 AM -31 May 2018 810 Retweets 4,417 Likes
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  • 8
    Text - M se Allain Follow @MooseAllain I've inherited a condition whereby whenever I rub a vase, it brings me out in a rash. I think it's my genie allergy. 2:23 AM 23 Oct 2018 46 Retweets 353 Likes
  • 9
    Text - Richard Osman Follow @richardosman Terrific start to our time management training course at work. Time Management - CORRECTION Today at 12:47 Hi All Just realised I sent the wrong date! The training is next Tuesday -16th October Apologies! 5:07 AM -10 Oct 2018 416 Retweets 4,718 Likes
  • 10
    Text - gav-o-lantern Follow @notgavin I know this lady called Sue and I found out the other day her surname is Cumber and I cannot stop thinking about that name. 6:04 AM -17 Oct 2018 28 Retweets 222 Likes
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  • 11
    Text - @flenwerewolf_ Follow @flendog_ Made the terrible error of sitting down on my sofa immediately after getting in and I cannot move. Bonus is I'm still wearing my coat AND my handbag so if the worst comes to the worst I can just immediately leave my house for work in the morning. There's always a silver lining. 12:12 PM - 10 Oct 2018
  • 12
    Text - Freddy Quinne Follow @FreddyQuinne Best part of #TheApprenticeis when Lord Sugar makes them meet at random places for no reason. "Meet me at the bottom of a well in 20 minutes." *Half an hour later* "I've brought you here because a well is dark and damp, perfect for developing film. Start a photography business" 1:05 PM - 17 Oct 2018 2,422 Retweets 11,818 Likes
  • 13
    Text - Pundamentalism Follow @Pundamentalism Seeing a Mother Superior drinking a pint is the strangest thing I've seen, bar nun 5:22 AM - 17 Oct 2018 473 Retweets 2,649 Likes
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  • 14
    Text - MAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHty Follow @TeaAndCopy On this very day 4 years ago, I asked my best friend to marry me. My wife was furious. Greg was a little taken aback too. 9:28 AM-15 Oct 2018 1,045 Retweets 5,930 Likes
  • 15
    Text - yung reezy @6foot3lightie Follow Our government is really treating Brexit like one uni deadline. How you 2.5 years into the assignment with nothing to show for it? These man will be pulling an all nighter in the library on March 28th 1:35 AM - 16 Oct 2018 7,137 Retweets 23,181 Likes


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