‘This [should be] a no-brainer’: Wife furious that husband ignores every text except for the last one sent, sparks texting debate

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Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Jun 4, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Should texting manners really be that important in the relationship?

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  • There can be many ups and downs in a relationship, and the advancement of technology can actually add to that. We have so many new ways of communicating and communication is always key in a relationship. So is it important to take advantage of all these new ways to talk? Women discuss this in a Reddit thread where a wife confides about her anger towards her husband. They just recently had a baby and sometimes she sends him multiple one-liner texts in a room. However, her husband will only respond to the last text sent and completely ignore any others. She's tried talking to him about this because it is very frustrating to her, but he doesn't think it's a big deal. But now they are new parents and they need to be able to get a hold of each other as quickly as possible. What do you think? Read the entire situation and highlights of the discussion below. 

  • 01
    "He says I can only expect him to see the last text... We have a baby now. This has gone from making me annoyed to feeling rage and he will snap at me [if I bring it up]."
    via Pxhere
  • 02
    My husband thinks it's unreasonable to expect him to read multiple messages in a row. He thinks only the last one counts. I disagree. Who is right? Advice Needed
    via Batticon
  • 03
    Since the beginning of our relationship, I have been frustrated by my husband frequently only responding to, or "seeing" the last text I send him. For example, if I were to text him "hey can you check the front door is locked?" Then follow it with a text that says "how does pasta for dinner sound?" He would respond to the pasta text and ignore the door text. I end up having to double check or send multiple texts frequently. When I bring it up he says I can only expect him to see the last text. O
    via Batticon
  • 04
    We have a baby now and are both tired grumpy and this has gone from making me annoyed to feeling rage and he will snap at me to get off is . I have told him it's standard to read UP until his last response. I asked my sister what she does and she agreed with me and seemed to think it was a no-brainer. Who is correct? My husband or me?
    via Batticon
  • 05
    ETA: he works from home. I am a SAHM since the baby. He frequently has time to scroll x or Facebook or whatever. We text a lot because it's less disruptive and frankly easier. Especially if the baby is asleep. ETA 2: we both are string texters. I'm not bombarding him with 10 at a time. Maybe. like 4-5 1 liners max. He does same. Some days there's only like one text sent total. We text in the house when we're on different floors or the baby is sleeping on me or something.
    via Batticon
  • 06
    NuanceEnthusiast • 6h ago I'm sorry, what is your husband 6 years old?? 1K Reply ...
    via NuanceEnthusiast
  • 07
    a flea 6h ago • This is a ridiculous problem, he's wrong lol. Test him by making an offer he can't refuse in the first message and see how far up he can read then. 1.9K Reply ...
    via a**flea
  • 08
    TheRealJim57 .5h ago He's lying to you. He's just ignoring the texts he doesn't want to acknowledge. 148 Reply
    via TheRealJim57
  • 09
    Trick-Connection-626 • 5h ago This is called weaponized incompetence. 995⇓ Reply
    via Trick-Connection-626
  • 10
    Kickazzzdad • 6h ago Ask your husband calmly how he would solve the issue. Say, "There are times where I need to send you multiple messages throughout the day. How can I do this to be sure you will read more than just the last message? "I Set your parameters and boundaries.
    via Kickazzzdad
  • 11
    Then ask him for a solution. This puts the onus on him of solving his ridiculous rule. If every Redditor tells you that you are correct it still is not going to solve the underlying issue. I doubt he changes "because Reddit said so." ↑ 354 Reply ...
    via Kickazzzdad
  • 12
    • test_test_1_2_3 6h ago Obviously this is absurd. He's being manipulative, presumably his end goal is to condition you to make less requests from him by being difficult. I wouldn't even engage with him on such a stupid topic. I would just tell him your expectations and say it's not up for debate, he isn't doing this in good faith, don't get drawn into discussing how many texts he is expected to read. 171 Reply
    via test_test_1_2_3
  • 13
    ZealousidealRope7429 6h ago No, it's unreasonable. He's being difficult for the sake of being difficult. "get off his " is the main issue he's having with you, and this is his passive-aggressive way to put up a barrier for you. You can either address the issue of him being awful at communicating with you, and seemingly unhappy to deal with you, or you can play his game and never move. onto another topic until he answers the initial question:
    via ZealousidealRope7429
  • 14
    "can you check the front door is locked?" "hey did you check the front door is locked?" "can you confirm the front door is locked?" And once he confirms, then ask "how does pasta for dinner sound?" or "have you checked the front door yet? also after you've checked it, let me know how pasta for dinner sounds." assuming he's capable of reading a text that isn't just about one thing. -- 107 Reply
    via ZealousidealRope7429
  • 15
    . greenwoodgiant 5h ago I've definitely missed previous messages and only replied to the last one before, but to actively insist that double-tapping texts invalidates the previous ones is insane. He's 100% wrong. Every time you go to send him a text before he's replied to your last one, you should copy the last text and paste it into the new message and then follow up with your next thought. Do it like four times in a row, each text getting bigger and bigger as it repeats the previous texts. 44
    via greenwoodgiant
  • 16
    Jjjt22 5h ago • This can't be a real question OP. This isn't even close to meeting the bare minimum. 20 Reply ...
    via Jjjt22
  • 17
    Red_Littlefoot 5h ago • Sounds like he's lazy af and trying to use that as an excuse to ignore you 23 Reply rhunter99 6h ago • Husband is really weird. Good luck trying to change that behaviour. 22 Reply ...
    via Red_Littlefoot
  • 18
    NarrowBridge111 6h ago • Your husband is being unfair and ridiculous. Texting is - unavoidably - an important mode of communication. He owes it to you to read all of your messages. It's tantamount to ignoring most of what you say in a conversation. What's he going to do - tune out when you speak if it lasts. longer than 30 seconds? ↑ 9 9 ⇓ ☐ Reply
    via NarrowBridge11
  • 19
    LessFish777 5h ago Jeeez... he's super wrong. Before I even met my now boyfriend we were texting a lot and something I knew I already loved about him is that he answers EVERY part of my multiple texts without a doubt. I love him so much. ↑ 9 ↓ Reply
    via LessFish777
  • 20
    • SJoyD 5h ago Weaponized incompetence shows us another version of itself. Your husband is behaving like a child. 48凸 Reply SoundMany7012 • 5h ago huh? when you're reading a book do you only read the last page? like what ↑ 7 B Reply ...
    via SJoyD
  • 21
    That being said, if your husband is just ignoring the first message just because? He can only be bothered to read the last message? He's in the wrong. I would bet that if he tried to ask/tell you something and ended up needing to send a second message, related or otherwise, he would suddenly feel his first message counted. Congrats on the baby (which definitely doesn't help!) and hopefully your husband will stop being unreasonable and childish. ↑ 7 3 Reply
    via ari_352

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love language texting husband marriage communication wife what goes around comes around entitled people karma pay back hubsand new parents marriage advice justice served entitled texting r-entitled Reddit marriage problems karma entitled people
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