'If they don't like our lifestyle they can leave': Six figure-earners never cook at home, receive lecture from overbearing parents

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 10, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

If there's one certainty in life, it's that everyone is not always going to approve of your choices. No matter what choice you make, there will be a group of people who think you're crazy, for one reason or another. That can be tolerable, though, when those people are far away in some fringe group or distant subreddit. Those anonymous people are easy to shrug off. It's harder to face when those people are in your family. Then it gets personal, and you feel a need to defend yourself. But haters gonna hate, and you just have to keep going (as long as you're not hurting anyone). 

That's exactly the situation one couple found themselves in when a visit from one of their parents turned into an argument over how they spend their money. It's a tale as old as time, and commenters came in to set both sides of the argument straight. Read on for the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    12 PAL JONNY SIZE
    via Allef Vinicius
  • 02
    AITA For telling my parents that my husband that if they don't like our lifestyle they can leave? I'm upset so I will get right to the point. My husband and I both make well over six figures. But we work long hours and as a result when we are not working or at the gym working out, we just want to veg out.
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 03
    So, we (when not working) will generally make breakfast but order out lunch and dinner or go out to eat. If we are working, we eat out all three meals. Our loans are paid off, we own our condo, and we have no children. So, eating/ordering out makes us happy. We also have a cleaning lady come twice a week to clean out home and do our laundry.
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 04
    Our parents came to visit and were upset that we didn't cook for them the whole week except for breakfast (we took the week off because we both knew both sets of parents were coming). We told them we don't cook except for breakfast but our condo is right next store to a plaza that has a grocery, and they are welcome to cook if they like. But there were quite a few
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 05
    restaurants that we have yet to take them to so why not try one of them? They got on us on how much money we were spending, and my MIL got on me when the cleaning lady came and said I should be doing the cleaning b/c she worked and cleaned and took care of kids so she doesn't get
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 06
    why I can't. Which so I went off and told her me off "Because I'm not super woman, have no desire to be and refuse to try and if she wants a participation trophy for being. over worked and under paid, she can head to the bar and have a shot of Jameson." I then told her and my parents that I did not spend 4 years in college and two
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 07
    in graduate school to play Florence from The Jeffersons (it's an 80s show that my parents love to watch). So, they went on to complain about how much money we were "wasting". My husband told them that it is not their money its ours and we don't consider it a waste. We told them the last thing we want to do when we get off from work is
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 08
    cook and clean. My husband told his mom that he never understood why she would work herself to the bone like that even when he and his sisters tried to pitch in and help, she insisted on doing everything herself. I told her I will not be doing that.
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 09
    So, they went on about an emergency fund. We told them before we started living the way we do we made sure our student loans were paid off and we each have a year's salary saved up plus investments, so we are good thank you. My dad tried to be intrusive and ask how much
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 10
    money we both made, and we said, "None of your business!!!" at the same time, which made us both laugh but they were not laughing. They didn't like our reaction and felt we were wasting money. We told them if they have a problem with our lifestyle, they could all leave. So, they ubered to a hotel. We really didn't want them to leave just to drop the subject.
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 11
    So, are we idiots for telling them they could leave?
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 12
    UPDATE: I've texted both sets of parents and told them I'm sorry for what I said and want them to come back as I never wanted them to leave. That I know what I said about them leaving was out of line, I just wanted to drop the subject but my way about it was wrong. I told them whether they decide to come back I would like to reimburse them for the hotel rooms.
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 13
    2nd UPDATE: Yeah, we just met up at a restaurant near the hotel. They didn't want to eat so we sat at the bar and talked. We told them that our finances are our business and though we told them that if they didn't like it, they could leave we were not literal when we said it. We just wanted to drop the subject.
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 14
    They continued that we are wasting money. We told them it is our money to waste and just bc they consider it wasting money we don't. We consider it one of the perks of our very fortunate life and it was not going to change. We told them that we appreciate their concern, but we know what we are doing, that they don't have to agree with it
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 15
    but it is not up for discussion or debate. We told them we would love to have them back and to enjoy the rest of the week with them but any comments or conversation about how we spend our money will not be allowed.
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 16
    They agreed and we are taking them to a restaurant a little off the beaten path that we know they all will love. No, they didn't apologize but we didn't expect them to.
    via u/BitterPsychology6426
  • 17
    omeomi24 15 hr. ago. • NTA - but you are living a lifestyle they simply can't understand. You've been smart with your money - didn't have a bunch of children to pay for - have good educations, good jobs. It sounds as if you've tried to explain - without giving
    via u/omeomi24
  • 18
    them info that is none of their business. You went a bit far with the 'you can leave' as they did not have much choice at that point. When you talk to them (eventually) just tell them (nicely) that your
    via u/omeomi24
  • 19
    finances and what you spend are NOT up for discussion. My son and d-in-law have a lifestyle similar to yours - and unlike your parents...I am SO happy they are able to enjoy life without worries about finances.
    via u/omeomi24
  • 20
    Born-Eggplant8313. 15 hr. ago NTA, but if you want to avoid hurt feelings going forward (it sounds like you really do) then learn some greyrocking strategies, and make a habit of those being your go-to. I guess, since you're
    via u/Born-Eggplant8313
  • 21
    trying to make peace and make amends, it would be counter productive to point out to them that choosing a hotel when given the option of that or dropping the damned subject, was completely lacking in any financial foresight and a waste of money.
    via u/Born-Eggplant8313
  • 22
    StellarPhenom420. 15 hr. ago ΝΤΑ What you said wasn't out of line, it was you almost properly setting a boundary with consequences. Next time be even more direct, "If you won't discontinue conversations about our finances, we will ask you to leave."
    via u/StellarPhenom420
  • 23
    You have nothing to apologize for. They are guests in your home, and if you don't want to be harangued about your finances you don't have to be.
    via u/StellarPhenom420

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