‘If only I could fire you!’: Public service employee's epic response leaves Karen client speechless and company in tears

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    5 "How could you send that?!"
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    Its "my job" to deal with it? Sure.
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    I work in Public Services. It was a new role, and I am the first (and only) one of "me". Essentially, this means that my job scope can be pretty broad and I have a lot of fingers in a lot of different pies. I have also gained the reputation of a no-nonsense problem-solver (cannot for the life of me think why...!) so when people have issues, they tend to come to me.
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    I was busily hashing out a few tasks last week when I get something else slapped onto my plate. A manager of a service we commission with, appropriately named Karen, has apparently been working her way through people because she isn't getting the resolution she wants. So one of the managers in Finance wants me to "look into this" for Karen.
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    Now, a thing to note here is that every April we increase rates along with inflation, but she didn't get it. Thing is, it's out of our hands - the services we commission from her are funded between us and another separate Public Service (PS2). We pay half, PS2 pay half. But we haven't paid the increase because PS2 haven't agreed anything yet. What can I say, it's the Public Sector. Our Teams conversation goes something like:
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    Me: Hey Finance Manager, I can't actually do anything about this because... Finance Manager: (cutting me off) This is your job, it's your department that deals with these contracts, so deal with it. I don't care how, just get her off my back. Now, that's mostly paraphrased...except for that last sentence which he said verbatim "I don't care how, just get her off my back". I write in chat "to confirm, I am to deal
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    with this, and you do not care how?". Finance Manager says "Yes, for Ch ts sake". I crack my knuckles and get to work, sending her the following email and CCing in Finance Manager and my own manager. "Dear Karen, I apologise for the delay in the inflationary increase for [service], however as this is jointly-funded between ourselves and PS2 we are beholden to their financial timeliness. As PS2 have not yet agreed to the 4.1%
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    increase, we are unable to process it. Regardless of how many individuals you contact, this will remain the case until PS2 see fit to approve. In instances such as these, our recourse should be to head down to the offices of PS2 and begin smacking n ghty b oms, but I fear HR would frown upon such action in these enlightened times. Might I suggest contacting PS2 yourself in order to expedite the process? I'm sure Finance Manager (finance.manager@myplaceofwork) would be happy to direct you to the
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    Warmest regards, MyName." I then immediately got a Teams call from my manager where for 30 seconds all I could hear was laughing, and he asked me what was going on - I sent him the screenshots of the chat messages between myself and Finance Manager and relayed the Teams call. My manager told me
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    that it was not, in fact, my job (how odd...!) and later that day Finance Manager apologised, but also warned me that "in the future you should probably hold back on the bo ck-withering sarcasm, people might not find it amusing". I think I'm hysterical, personally.
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    Jordangander ⚫ 13 hr. ago I really don't see the problem. If they didn't want to be put on the spot with scathing sarcasm they should have handled it themselves.
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    Takssista · 13 hr. ago We need more public servants like yourself
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    Kathucka 12 hr. ago • Honestly, that was potentially very helpful to Karen. She'd been wasting her time up to that point. Now she knows where to go.
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    LuxNocte 9 hr. ago I kinda don't understand why the Finance Manager (or OP) didn't just tell the lady who to contact in the first place. As someone who works in a large company, there is nothing I love more than identifying the proper team to assist with a problem. (That is the absolute quickest way to ensure that it is not my problem.)
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    Kathucka 6 hr. ago He didn't tell her because Karen wasn't putting up with his excuses and he couldn't get a word in. Or, something like that. Basically, he couldn't deal with her in some way or another, so he desperately asked OP to rescue him.
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    MagicToolbox 12 hr. ago "With all due respect ' my 'Bo ck-wi ring sarcasm' got the job done, got Karen off my back, and gave you a path forward that didn't entail throwing me under the bus. You need only give her the appropriate contact and she will then be off your back as well - as requested."
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    "Oh, I'm sorry, is your title Finance Manager? I suppose that abbreviation would be FM, I can't imagine what I was thinking when I typed "I
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    MinimumBuy1601 13 hr. ago I approve of this message!
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    FierceFeyreisa · 11 hr. ago Future new-hires will have a list of words forbidden in official correspondence; they will shake their heads, wondering "who in the world made this a necessary part of training?" It's you. And you're an unsung hero.
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    • WinginVegas 12 hr. ago We agree you are hysterical. Keep it up. ③
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    DeeDee_Z 8 hr. ago In instances such as these, our recourse should be to head down to the offices of PS2 and begin sm king naughty boms, but ... Imagine how different the reaction would be, if you just changed a few words, perhaps thusly:
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    In instances such as these, our recourse should be to head down to the offices of PS2 with a 2x4 and begin smacking people upside- -de-h d with it until they see things our way*,... * Personally, I like yours better -- but I -have- used my words with some success a couple of times in roughly similar circumstances!
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    PhDTARDIS · 11 hr. ago It sounds like working with you would be a LOT of fun!
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    TaisharMalkier69.9 hr. ago Maybe this is wrong of me. But I didn't really see what was wrong with that email. Honestly, I probably send emails like that all the time.
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    The_Wolverine_WpnX 10 hr. ago I love stories that involve karens named Karen. Best s t ever. Thank you.
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    A-Game-Of-Fate . 7 hr. ago Finance Manager should have f n known better the second they saw you reply to them starting with the words "To confirm" Imao
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    AggressivePayment0 12 hr. ago That was pure gold. Adorable.
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    onionbreath97. 10 hr. ago This would be a fun Monty Python sketch, but I don't see how you put this in writing in the real world without getting fired.
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    Embarrassed Eye_2832 OP 3 hr. ago I was explicitly told by a higher-up to go outside my job role to deal with it and they didn't care how. I dealt with it, he didn't like how I dealt with it, but I was just following orders. My manager is top tier.

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