Boyfriend scolds nurse girlfriend for not letting his grandmother put butter on her son's burn: 'He said I am not to treat his family like that and I should have just let them do it'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 13, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

The best at-home treatments for medical ailments change all the time. It wasn't so long ago that you could buy opium off the shelf at the drug store, and doctors encouraged bloodletting. We've made so many advancements in modern medicine over the past 100 years, so it's no wonder we've still got some residual bad advice from generations past floating around society. I don't think putting an onion in your kid's socks will break their fever, but many moms on Instagram Reels love to say it helps. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the millennial version of putting butter on a kid's burn. 

One mom who works as a nurse had to fight tooth and nail to prevent her boyfriend's mom (who is not her son's grandmother) from putting butter on a minor burn on her son's face. The boyfriend's mom wouldn't take no for an answer, and the boyfriend saw her refusal to comply with his mom as a sign of disrespect. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10373317632
    via Sorin Gheorghita
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    AITA for being culturally insensitive about butter?
    via u/Royal-Combination-62
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    I was at my boyfriend's family home. I'm a nurse. My son burnt himself on the grill by smacking his forehead into while playing. He had a little burn. I went to the bathroom to clean it up and put some cold water on it. My boyfriend's great grandmother is there. There might be some cultural differences between they are Latina but she insists on putting butter on my kids burn. I
    via u/Royal-Combination-62
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    said no and his mom came to talk to be saying I should just do this because it's disrespectful to his great grandmother not to take her advice she's almost 100. I told his mother it's disrespectful of them not to listen to me about treating my own child and I'm a nurse so so I'm not putting butter on a small burn. The woman in his family tried to bully me again about the butter and I'm finally got mad and said butter is for cooking why would I want it on the burn. I
    via u/Royal-Combination-62
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    saw his mom try yo put it on my kid and I said no butter. I took my kid and left. My boyfriend said I am not to treat his family like that and I should have just let them do it. In his culture elders are important. I said in my culture my boundaries and health are more important than your grandma's ego. We haven't talk since and my friend said I was being insensitive to my boyfriend and his family. Edit: My boyfriend is not the father of my son. I am divorced.
    via u/Royal-Combination-62
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    ReallyCantThinkof-1 · 6 hr. ago NTA, they need to respect you as a nurse. How long since you and your boyfriend talked? Not pulling the Reddit Dump him card, but you two need to look at cultural differences to see if this will work.
    via u/ReallyCantThinkof-1
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    Royal-Combination-62 OP 6 hr. ago Since Sunday
    via u/Royal-Combination-62
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    Character_Schedule34 · 5 hr. ago They need to respect you as a mother. Even if you weren't a nurse. Nta
    via u/Character_Schedule34
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    sweeney_todd555.42 min. ago NTA. Using butter to treat burns is a very old, and terrible, treatment for burns. I had a history teacher who was in her 60's, and she said that when she got a burn as a kid, her mother put butter on it. I guess the idea is that the butter would soothe the burn, when all it actually does is hold the heat in and make it worse.
    via u/sweeney_todd555
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    Family needs to realize that a 100 year-old granny's medical advice isn't necessarily going to be correct. I bet she still thinks teething babies should have whiskey rubbed on their gums.
    via u/sweeney_todd555
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    Comedy86 1 hr. ago I wouldn't even take this from biological grandparents. Not biologically related is somehow even worse...
    via u/Comedy86
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    Antique_Wafer8605.5 hr. ago Elders can be important, but it doesn't mean they are always right. NTA
    via u/Antique_Wafer8605
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    ReallyCantThinkof-1 · 6 hr. ago WOW, do you normally talk everyday? Have either of you tried calling the other?
    via u/ReallyCantThinkof-1
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    Royal-Combination-62 OP. 6 hr. ago Texting but his grandma is still visiting and he wanted me to apologize and I said no. So probably a 3 year relationship done over butter.
    via u/Royal-Combination-62
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    . Thortok2000 5 hr. ago edited 5 hr. ago Not over butter. Over ego and gaslighting and guilt trips from people who can't even spend two seconds to google something and would rather actively damage a child instead. This is not a family you should enter. And if the boyfriend is supporting them and not you (and your KID don't forget), then you don't need the boyfriend either, and he's dangerous to have around your kid.
    via u/Thortok2000
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    Literally his first concern should be the truth about what is best for the kid which is literally a two second google away. His second concern should be to respect your boundaries. Even if they were right, it's your kid, not theirs, and they crossed the line in trying to tell you how to parent. Third concern should be to respect your trained knowledge. Only after those things should he be worried about how his family is going to feel over not getting their way and being 'respected.'
    via u/Thortok2000
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    Respect is a two-way street. They weren't showing any, they don't get any. Boyfriend learns or goes. Take your pick.
    via u/Thortok2000
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    the_saradoodle . 5 hr. ago . edited 5 hr. ago They need to learn. Health and safety procedures and first aid are constantly updating. My Mom did the whole "arms up" thing when my brother and I were coughing/choking as kids(not actually choking, but inhaled something wrong). Turns out, you do not do that. So she stopped and doesn't do it with my son.
    via u/the_saradoodle
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    It's like carseats. My mom came home from the hospital in a basket, my Dad in a car hammock, my MIL in her unbuckled mother's arms. My husband and I were in booster seats/seat belts by 3. My 3.5 yo 41" son just turned forward facing in his 5 point. He'll be in some type of carseat until 9. We're no longer taught rescue breathing in CPR, my son won't be given popcorn until 4, etc. Literally everything changes, adapt or die.
    via u/the_saradoodle

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boyfriend nurses family drama treatment kid nurse burning butter grandma reddit story girlfriend health Reddit grandmother relationship drama burn son
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