‘I was taking the TMI path’: Dry-humored employee shares details of his bathroom breaks with his controlling micromanager, then HR gets involved

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jul 17, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

Micromanagers have the wackiest requests sometimes. Hiding behind busy work and teacher's pet antics, micromanagers throw out phrases like 'CC me on every email', 'Make sure I'm in the loop', and 'report to me after every bathroom break' as if it's normal workplace practice. Sorry, but there's no employee on earth who should be reporting their bathroom breaks to their manager. Under what circumstances is that helping anyone in the department? 

The Redditor in our next story found the perfect way to make his micromanager cringe in their desk chair. After asking for way too much information about his bathroom breaks, the original poster of this story decided to respond by injecting a little dry humor into the workplace–that is, before reporting his controlling manager to OSHA. Hilariously, after days of reporting crude and unusual details of every bathroom escapade, OP was pulled into the office with HR, hoping to get to the bottom of why he was sharing far too much information with the department head. 

As it turns out, the proof was in the prunes on this one. Scroll for the hilarity that left this office space giggling for weeks on end.

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  • 01
    My manager informed me that he was in dire need of knowing about my bathroom breaks. I was just following instructions.
    via canva
  • 02
    My supervisor needed to know everything. S S I had to stay hydrated while taking medication a few years ago, so I drank a lot of water.
    via [deleted]
  • 03
    resulting in numerous trips to the restroom. When I had to go at the time, I would just go and wouldn't give a . The manager of my department was quite controlling and insisted on always knowing
    via [deleted]
  • 04
    what was going on. He told me he was writing me up for not telling anyone about my restroom breaks after a few weeks. Thus, *insert malevolent compliance* (prior to my ever understanding
    via [deleted]
  • 05
    its nature).Over the next few days, I made sure to walk him straight every time I had to go. I was heard by everyone in the store who had their walkie talkies on.
    via [deleted]
  • 06
    "Hey manager, you needed to be aware of my bathroom schedule. I'm about to use the restroom. I appreciate your enquiry about it.
    via [deleted]
  • 07
    "Hey boss, I need to go pee right now. Should my urination cause pain? "Manager, I have to finish tasks #1 and #2. Wishing for
    via [deleted]
  • 08
    a smooth outcome." (After a short while:) *flush* "Looks good, I'm back on the floor." As I'm urinating, he yells for me "Hey, manager, you were
    via [deleted]
  • 09
    looking for me? In the bathroom, I am. I'll see you in a moment; I have to use both hands right now."At that time, HR and store managers intervened and
    via [deleted]
  • 10
    advised against taking the TMI path. "I don't want to get in trouble...," I said, wide-eyed and as innocent as I could. My manager informed me that he was in
    via [deleted]
  • 11
    dire need of knowing about my bathroom breaks. I was just following instructions." They promised to take care of it, and I was told explicitly not to report restroom breaks in the future.
    via [deleted]
  • 12
    For weeks, my colleagues couldn't stop giggling at this.
    via [deleted]
  • 13
    TechnOght 7h ago My team was heading to an offsite meeting about 10 minutes from our office. As I'm near the front door I had that feeling signifying it would be a
    via TechnOght
  • 14
    very bad idea to wait so I peeled away from the group and spend a while in the restroom. I get to the offsite location about 10 minutes after the others and a the team
    via TechnOght
  • 15
    (her first job out of school) asked why I was late, just out of curiosity. I told her I had to take care of something and she didn't want the details. She kept pushing, so when it went beyond curiosity to intrusive I gave her the details.
    via TechnOght
  • 16
    That's when our manager walked up and asked why I was late. New girl starts waving her hands and says "You don't want to know". This is how you train your team.
    via TechnOght
  • 17
    oylaura • 7h ago I used to work at a small consulting company of about 20 people. The owner of the company didn't want the phone to bring more than twice before being answered.
    via oylaura
  • 18
    There were two of us whose job it was to cover phones. So if one of us went to the bathroom, the other needed to know to pick up the phone. I was the backup to the receptionist and the second of those two people.
    via oylaura
  • 19
    We were not in line of sight with each other, but we could hear each other over the cube walls. Rather than announce to the whole cube farm where we were going, we developed a code and just called out "72!"
    via oylaura
  • 20
    dmitrineilovich • 7h ago I'm sure those explicit reports made a splash!
    via dmitrineilovich
  • 21
    BeerdedRNY • 5h ago I had a new manager who demanded we use a sign out/in sheet for bathroom breaks. She said it was company policy but I knew it was just her. I refused.
    via BeerdedRNY
  • 22
    She called me into her office and asked me to sign a formal write-up document for failing to follow the policy. I refused.
    via [deleted]BeerdedRNY
  • 23
    I then told her I'd be happy to discuss this "company policy" with her and the division President (who we both know was also a lawyer).
    via BeerdedRNY
  • 24
    She said that wouldn't be necessary and told me I could go back to my desk. She then came out of her office announced to the team we didn't need to use the sign out/in sheet for bathroom breaks anymore.
    via BeerdedRNY
  • 25
    Unsurprisingly she was assigned to a non- management role a couple months later.
    via BeerdedRNY

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