‘Give me 16k, or get out of the family’: When Man Says No to Paying For His Brother’s Wedding, the Family Uninvites Him and Tells Him to Never Speak to Them Again

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 18, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Family dynamics can be more of a headache than anything. When money's involved, things get even more complicated. It seems in this Reddit thread that there's a bit of favoritism going on…why should one brother pay for his other brother's wedding? When did this become a thing? If the one getting married doesn't have enough, then he can easily downsize his wedding, and not make it as elaborate as he's making it. But instead, the family is pushing the brother into a corner. 

It's one thing to say to him that he's uninvited to the wedding (which is already wild). But it's another to estrange him from his entire family. Is money that important? Why should it take precedence over family? Especially that it's worth it to never see their son again for the sake of money. Some people are loony…but read the full story to know what happens. And when you're done, you can read this story about a family fight during dinner.

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 6 hr. ago sgaisnsvdis AITAH for refusing to chip in to my brother's wedding?
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 02
    My (26M) brother (28m) is getting married this fall. He has always been my parents favorite without a doubt while I got the short end of the stick. (Not pouting but just stating the obvious). My parents are using the last of their retirement savings to pay for this wedding
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 03
    before they sell the house and downsize to a much smaller place. My brother wants a lot for his wedding roughly estimated it's costing him about $80,000. My brother is a lawyer practicing as a public defender making about $75K a year. And has about $7000 total saved up (not a typo
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 04
    seven thousand of eighty thousand). I know how to save money and have close to $150K saved up. My family is all chipping in as much as they can and it's all adding up to about $24,000. The brides side of the family said they're chipping in half the total cost for the
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 05
    wedding so $40,000. They have $64,000 combined and are trying to find $16,000 when they turned to me.
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 06
    I told them straight up I'm not giving them money but I can loan it to them. No interest just pay me back $16,000 at the end of 3 years. I tried to give them multiple opportunities to take it and let them know I would not just give them money. My brother is considering uninviting
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 07
    me from the wedding and my parents have been blowing up. my phone with messages and calls. After a few weeks of stewing in it and realizing he wasn't going to be able to find the money elsewhere and with his credit history a personal loan without a 10-12% interest rate is impossible
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 08
    he came back to me and asked for the loan. We hugged it out and talked about it and about 3 hours later I printed up a little contract that says I would either be paid back in full at the end of 3 years from this date or that I could take monthly or yearly installments however he wants it
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 09
    to be paid. When I busted out the contract he got upset saying I don't have faith in him. I don't. He's defaulted on 2 car loans and his
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 10
    credit score is around the 470's last time he checked. He has $300K worth of student loan debt from undergrad and law school and I know he's not smart with his money so I wanted it in writing. That apparently was the final straw. I am officially
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 11
    uninvited and have been asked not to contact him or my parents ever again.
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 12
    The truth is I'll say I'm sorry and admit when I'm wrong, but am I wrong asking for a contract for $16,000. That's a lot of money. Im not saying I'm going to sue him the day after the loan window expires for the amount but I want some sort of receipt saying that
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 13
    he owes me back for this. So am I the ?
    via u/sgaisnsvdis
  • 14
    Secure_Ship_3407 • 6h ago Stand your ground unless you want to say goodbye to 16K.
    via u/Secure_Ship_3407
  • 15
    kmflushing ⚫6h ago I don't understand this siblings being expected to pay for weddings. When did this happen?
    via u/kmflushing
  • 16
    Also, don't give or loan him any money, even with a contract. You'd just have to sue him eventually to get it back, and it will just cause even more drama and strife when the time comes. Save yourselves the headaches and just say no now.
    via u/kmflushing
  • 17
    superflex • 6h ago He's a lawyer. He knows exactly what legal accountability a written loan. agreement entails. His reaction tells you everything you need to know about his intentions to repay you.
    via u/superflex
  • 18
    • DJsspinontheworld ⚫ 6h ago NTA People who can't - afford a fancy wedding shouldn't have a fancy wedding! I will never understand why people want to spend so much money on ONE DAY when
    via u/DJsspinontheworld
  • 19
    they could use that money to buy a house. Some of the best weddings I've been to are the simple, heartfelt weddings! You don't owe your brother that money! I guess you could give some of the money to them as a
    via u/DJsspinontheworld
  • 20
    gift and the rest as a loan, but it sounds like you are smart to draw up a contract for it. Otherwise, you will never see the money again!
    via u/DJsspinontheworld
  • 21
    Fun-Yellow-6576 • 6h ago NTA. Don't loan him the $, he won't pay it back. Be glad you'll be disinvited.
    via u/Fun-Yellow-6576
  • 22
    arlae 6h ago It's crazy that you're still loaning him money even with the contract he's literally defaulted on 2 loans before
    via u/arlae
  • 23
    Bulky Specialist96... • 6h ago Fun fact: couples who spend $20k + on their wedding are 3.5 times more likely to divorce than those that spend $10k or less.
    via u/Bulky Specialist96
  • 24
    forgetregret1day • 6h ago I'm baffled that people are just handing this couple such large amounts of money for a wedding they can't afford. I know every couple has their dreams for their wedding day but if you have $80k taste and $7k
    via u/forgetregret1day
  • 25
    saved, it's time to rethink things. I'd be ashamed to take my parent's retirement money for something like this. You're NTA in my opinion. He's being ridiculous and lost his chance by balking at the contract. As a lawyer he
    via u/forgetregret1day
  • 26
    should know better. It's pretty common knowledge that people who intend to pay a debt won't have an issue with an agreement to do just that. He proved you right. I'm sorry your family is putting money over you but maybe you're better off in the long run.
    via u/forgetregret1day
  • 27
    Agitated-Buy8146 • 6h ago Nta. Your family is an entire bucket of stupid
    via u/Agitated-Buy8146
  • 28
    Clean_Factor9673 • 6h ago NTA. Don't threaten me with a good time! The only people tasked with paying for the wedding are the two getting married.
    via u/Clean_Factor9673
  • 29
    I'm curious about the fiancee; hasn't she figured out he's bad with money, based on what you've stayed above?
    via u/Clean_Factor9673

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family drama drama siblings family feud relationships wedding lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny money dating
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