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Woman Is Fed Up and Records Toxic MIL's Comments About Her, Husband Takes His Mommy's Side: ‘He turned on me’

Another MIL bedtime horror story!

Posted by Lana DeGaetano
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  • What is it with many spouses' mothers disapproving of their child's partners? We see a lot of stories about mama's boys taking their mother's side over their partners. This may simply be because they never think their mothers have the capacity to be so cruel. This is usually because the mother loves their son but hates anyone that they are interested in; this would ultimately mean mommy isn't in first place anymore. Yes, I know. Some people do think this way.

    Many MILS are amazing, don't get me wrong. They can be second mothers to their son's partner—but that's not what this page is for. The woman in this story has been berated by her MIL since she and the MIL's son got married. Many snide comments and verbal jabs at the woman's line of work, cooking, and outfit choices later: she records the entire thing. I'll add that in some areas of the world, a one-way audio recording is completely legal. Especially if it's used for documenting potential harassment. The woman's husband doesn't believe her, so she shows him the audio proof. Instead of apologizing for assuming his wife was lying, he takes his mother's side and tells her that was an insane invasion of her privacy. No acknowledgement. Cue him leaving to stay at his mother's, and here lies where the woman decided to post this debacle. Naturally, everyone is rooting for her to leave the man who refuses to put her first.

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  • 1
    AITAH for recording my mother-in-law's insults and showing them to my husband?
    Via narcomuvs
  • 2
    For context, my husband (31m) and I (29f) have been married for three years. Throughout our relationship, his mother, let's call her Jane, has never liked me. She's always making snide remarks and passive-aggressive comments, but she's careful to do it when he isn't around. Whenever I bring it up to him, he says I'm exaggerating or misinterpreting her.
    Via narcomuvs
  • 3
    Things came to a head a month ago during a visit to Jane's house. Jane was in top form, making little jabs about my cooking, my job, and even the way I dress. I was at my breaking point, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.
    Via narcomuvs
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  • 4
    I started using the voice memo app on my iPhone to record our interactions whenever I was alone with Jane. Over the next few weeks, I managed to capture several of her comments. She said things like, "he must really love you to put up with your cooking," and "Your job is so cute, it must be nice not to have any real responsibilities.”
    Via narcomuvs
  • 5
    Last weekend, after Jane left our house from another visit, I decided it was time to show him the truth. I played the recordings for him. He looked stunned and didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then he said he couldn't believe his mom would say those things.
    Via narcomuvs
  • 6
    But then, instead of being angry at Jane, he turned on me. He accused me of violating his mother's privacy and said I went too far by recording her without her knowledge. He felt betrayed that I didn't talk to him first before resorting to this.
    Via narcomuvs
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  • 7
    I tried to explain that I had talked to him multiple times and he didn't believe me, but he wasn't having it. He packed a bag and went to stay at his parents' house to cool off.
    Via narcomuvs
  • 8
    He is still upset with me and hasn't come home yet. I don't know if I went too far or if this was the wake-up call Jane needed. So, AITAH for recording my mother-in- law's insults and showing them to my husband?
    Via narcomuvs
  • 9
    EDIT: I posted this in AITA but it got removed. Also thanks to the comments I realized this is my wake up call. Thanks for the support I'll give an update soon.
    Via narcomuvs
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  • 10
    SquirrellyDog2016 • 15h ago Sorry, I didn't see the other post you made. Based upon what you've said here, your husband has made his choice. He doesn't have your back as he should. Instead, he goes running back to momma. I can guarantee you, no one will ever be good enough for
    Via SquirrellyDog2016
  • 11
    her son. She won't change. As a matter of fact, once he tells her you recorded her, she's going to be 10x worse in how she speaks to you. If you want to save your marriage, develop a backbone and tell her off every time she's
    Via SquirrellyDog2016
  • 12
    to you. If that doesn't get her to self-correct, you need to decide if you want to stay in the marriage. Personally, if my husband went running home to momma over something like this, I'd find a good divorce lawyer immediately.
    Via SquirrellyDog2016
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  • 13
    . Laquila • 15h ago · Edited 15h ago You shattered his made-up, preferred "reality" and showed him it was full of . That's why he's angry and using the excuse that you "violated his mommy's privacy". Oh boo hoo! No, he preferred it like it was, with you putting up with her which he
    Via Laquila
  • 14
    very likely knew about, because he knows what she's like. But it was easier, more peaceful for HIM, for you to just let yourself be disrespected and put down, than for him to stand up for you. Far too awkward for him to have words with his mommy. She might
    Via Laquila
  • 15
    get mad at him, and he can't have that! Nooooo! You just highlighted his lack of spine, his enabling, the reality of him being a weak little mommy's boy who won't stand up to her. Ugh.
    Via Laquila
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  • 16
    Good for you. Him saying you should have talked to him first, before resorting to his? LOL! He would have told you not to, because he knew it would show his precious mommy to be the nasty cow she is, shattering his deluded "reality". If you can leave, do so. How pathetic this man must be. What a turn off. NTA.
    Via Laquila
  • 17
    . IrishTempest50 • 14h ago If you take him back, he will always treat you like this. It will get worse. Your husband showed you where is loyalty lies. It is not with you or for you. He will always choose them/her over you.
    Via IrishTempest50
  • 18
    Now, do you believe that you deserve how he is treating you? I don't think so, neither does the other commenters. You do not deserve to be treated with such blatant disrespect. Time to change the locks and get a lawyer. Do it now. Start packing his things. Put them all in one spot. (the Garage) Polish up your spine and take a stand. I am so sorry that he has done this to you. He is a spineless twit.
    Via IrishTempest50
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  • 19
    SnooWords4839 14h ago • Wow! Leave him with mommy! Save those recordings for when MIL blames you for the divorce.
    Via SnooWords4839
  • 20
    RJack151 14h ago NTA. Tell hubby that you will be filing for divorce. And you did not sign up to be with a momma's boy.
    Via RJack151
  • 21
    Comprehensive-Sun954 14h ago Sorry darling, but it's you who needs the wake up call. You got yourself a certified mummy's boy there. They don't change, ever.
    Via Comprehensive-Sun954
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  • 22
    . star_b_nettor 14h ago. NTA He knew what his mother was doing. He choose to defend her by playing innocent. That he got mad at you when you had proof shows who he chooses.
    Via star_b_nettor
  • 23
    Funny-City9891 · 10h ago Jumping on the fact that you recorded her is simply deflecting. When it came time to pick a team he chose team mommy. Lesson learned. You can and will be more discerning in future relationships. Cut bait now.
    Via Funny-City9891
  • 24
    Old-AF • 10h ago Let him stay with his Mom. Forever.
    Via Old-AF

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entitled parents toxic-husband mamas-boy mother wife reddit story relationships husband entitled people karma mother in law entitled Reddit payback rude toxic relationship entitled people

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