Friends Exploit Wealthy Girl's Generosity, Demanding Payment Every Time They Go Out

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jul 25, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

A person must pick friends wisely knowing that they will be there for him in good times and bad. Your friends are not your family by default, they are your family by choice. So, what would you do if your friends started taking advantage of your kindness and generosity?

The story that follows comes from a frustrated friend. The original poster (OP), a college student, is a vital part of her social circle. OP has always been honest and open about her origins and the affluence of her parents. At first, OP's friends treated her the same as everyone else, seemingly unaffected by her wealth. However, as they grew closer and more intimate over time, the friends began to take advantage of OP's kindness and financial situation, asking her to pay for every meal, bar crawl, and birthday party.

Having said that, make sure to read the story below to find out if OP was able to put an end to her friends' inappropriate behavior! Additionally, after you're done, don't forget to check out the story about the woman who kicks out her stepdaughter's husband for nearly spoiling her daughter's marriage proposal!

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  • 01
    only a few hours. During that time I had maybe one drink but hadn't eaten all night. I decided to call it a night after 2 hours to go have dinner with my family. Before I was leaving, however, one of my friends asked if I could quickly cover the tab before I left. I would've usually agreed, but this circumstance felt different since I hadn't eaten and barely drank. I also didn't want to come in the first place. This time, it seemed like they were trying to use me to pay even if
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for refusing to pay and leaving my friends in a restaurant as the 'rich friend'?
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 03
    |(20f) have an amazing group of friends (7 people) from university. We met in our second year and have been super close ever since. For context, we go to a relatively expensive college with no scholarship so it's safe to assume all of us are somewhat well off. When we were first getting to know each other we often went out for brunch and drinks and split the bill most of the time. However, I've been brought up
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 04
    to never let others pay and would offer to cover the bill whenever I could. No one else offered to cover but I believe it's just not common where they're from. A few months ago we were talking about our parents' occupations and I told them about my family. A quick google search of my name brings up my father's page however they had never connected the dots regarding our relation. My father is well
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 05
    known in the real estate industry and makes quite a bit of money. Since then, I've been labelled as the ‘rich friend' in our group. Whenever we go shopping, I'm expected to buy expensive items for myself and uber everywhere instead of using public transport. When I do shop cheaper it becomes a spectacle. I also feel guilty whenever I pull out only my portion in cash since I
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 06
    can tell it makes everyone else uncomfortable to then dig through their bags for their share. Therefore I often just end up covering anyways. A few weeks ago, it was one of my friends' 21st birthday and I told him I would pay for any activity as a birthday gift. We went out and had a nice dinner as a group. I didn't mind since I offered. What bothered me was when I turned 20 recently and was hoping
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 07
    my friends would take care of me for one day. I usually never have this expectation, but was really let down since I always seem to be the one treating everyone else even on my special day. My last straw was when we went on vacation recently to my home country. They, as usual, made plans for a pub crawl night. I initially didn't intend on going since I had scheduled dinner with my parents later that night. I eventually caved and ended up going for
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 08
    only a few hours. During that time I had maybe one drink but hadn't eaten all night. I decided to call it a night after 2 hours to go have dinner with my family. Before I was leaving, however, one of my friends asked if I could quickly cover the tab before I left. I would've usually agreed, but this circumstance felt different since I hadn't eaten and barely drank. I also didn't want to come in the first place. This time, it seemed like they were trying to use me to pay even if
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 09
    it was unintentional. I simply said I would, but left without paying. I got a text later from one of them saying "i thought you said you paid lol. how was dinner?" We brushed over that instance quite easily but their behaviour from that night still bothers me. It seems like I have become the ‘rich friend' character that always pays for their friends. How do I fix this without seeming like an AH?
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 10
    EDIT: thank you so much for the advice guys! as of now, the best option seems to be to blame it on a third party even if that may not be so kind to my dad haha. I might bring up that I have an allowance so I can start cutting back on expenses. To clarify a few details,
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 11
    -> I have been brought up to pay for others when they also do the same. It is always a nice gesture that has gone both ways. The reason I am starting to resent it is because it now seems one sided. More than the money, what bothers me is the realisation that my group of friends may never treat me and I am always the one to splurge on them. It seems inherently one sided.
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 12
    -> When I mentioned purchasing expensive items, I meant for myself. It has become almost a brand/identity that I have no intention of continuing. Whenever I don't spend much money, they pass comments like "oh miss private jet is using public transport!" or when I repeat outfits "don't you have enough money to have a new outfit every day". There were never remarks like this earlier. I'm sure
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 13
    they mean it as a joke but these comments just get to me sometimes since even normal activities I do are put under the spotlight now. It also adds to this archetype I am trying to separate myself from. -> My behaviour has never changed upon being given the label. I get that it can easily become a self fulfilling prophecy but I have made sure to stay the same. Rather it seems that my actions now are fitted to the title and attributed to it.
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 14
    -> The conversation regarding our backgrounds was bound to come up as we were getting to know each other. It was inevitable and I couldn't hide it Being secretive would imply it is a big deal when it's not. I gave brief details however they ran with it. -> Lastly, I also realise I may have written this post quite strongly. I am unsure as to whether their behaviour is intentional or they seriously have no idea. I guess the only way to find out is to inform them eventually.
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 15
    ZombieHealthy2616 23 hr. ago sis, if you want to continue having wealth of any sort, you need to put your foot down. and stop letting your friends take advantage of you. They are absolutely taking advantage of you. Call your Dad and have a conversation with him about whether you can "use" him as an
    via u/ZombieHealthy2616
  • 16
    excuse to back this truck up while you figure out how to erect YOUR boundaries. Ie: Yeah, Dad's not covering my credit cards anymore and has put me on a strict budget. He worked hard and saved to get where he is business wise and doesn't want his kids to be lazy and entitled so here we are.
    via u/ZombieHealthy2616
  • 17
    When your friends pressure you, look at them and tell them if they want uber instead of public transit then one of them will need to cover it this time because you are not the group piggy bank. Same with purchasing tgem expensive things. Next time you are pressured, tell them they are welcome to purchase it, but buying expensive things for everyone is no longer in tge buget.
    via u/ZombieHealthy2616
  • 18
    Brunch? set the tone when you first arrive at the restaurant by telling the server you guys need separate checks. Your gut is correct. They are using you. Its EASY to spend other people's money so you need to set a new tone. YOU are not rich. Your parents are rich and your parents are not interested in supporting your friends' lifestyles.
    via u/ZombieHealthy2616
  • 19
    forgeris · 23 hr. ago . | (20f) have an amazing group of friends (7 people) from university. No you don't, you are groups wallet and nobody gives ac p about you nor have any respect. Wake up and find people who don't care what's in your wallet but care
    via u/forgeris
  • 20
    what's in your mind, you are wasting time and money on people who do not appreciate it because they feel entitled to it, the worst kind of people, so congratulations, you have your first lesson in friendships and how money ruins it. NTA but get some self-respect, seems that even big money can't buy it.
    via u/forgeris
  • 21
    CatF4n4t1c 21 hr. ago • Totally agree. This poor girl. It feels that her 'friends' only invite her so that she can pay regardless of her eating, drinking or the likes. Grow a backbone, OP, and stop meeting with those people. They are no friends of yours. NTA.
    via u/CatF4n4t1c
  • 22
    Just_River_7502 · 19 hr. ago NTA BUT they are using you. Just have a conversation with them before the next time you are in this situation. Something like "hey guys, I love treating, but I feel like I set an expectation I didn't intend to set, let's just assume everyone is covering their own bills from now on unless I explicitly say I'm paying for everyone, ok?"
    via u/Just_River_7502
  • 23
    throwawa22473 OP · 19 hr. ago . WAITTT because this response is perfect I might just use this word for word. I have one friend I'm especially close to, I think I'll tell her this and then hopefully the expectation fades away eventually if she offers on her own
    via u/throwawa22473
  • 24
    Born_Baseball_6720 23 hr. ago NTA. They're using you as a bank account. As for fixing it? Find better friends that won't milk you for money. Ask yourself this: If your circumstances suddenly changed and you were no longer 'the rich friend', would they still be hounding you to go out on their pub crawls?
    via u/Born_Baseball_6720
  • 25
    Clean_Factor9673 .22 hr. ago NTA but it was a mistake not to act as a typical college student and pay for yourself only. I think they're greedy and will double down on you paying. I'm sorry this happened to you but let them know the gravy train has ended. Find better friends and only pay for yourself.
    via u/Clean_Factor9673
  • 26
    • Unhappy-Prune-9914 17 hr. ago Yes, why get yourself into a situation where you're paying for people all the time. Of course people will take advantage and why let people know you have money at all.
    via u/Unhappy-Prune-9914
  • 27
    Expensive Cloud_4253 · 21 hr. ago we go to a relatively expensive college with no scholarship So you assumed they're well off? They can take loans to go there as well. A) They're not your friends. Maybe they are to you, but you are not to them. B) You're their wallet. C) Cut them out.
    via u/Expensive_Cloud_4253
  • 28
    However, I've been brought up to never let others pay and would offer to cover the bill whenever I could. And they're using you. I can tell it makes everyone else uncomfortable to then dig through their bags for their share Don't give a fk girl they're literally USING YOU. Of course they're uncomfy, their wallet is not walleting...
    via u/Expensive_Cloud_4253
  • 29
    dropdrill 23 hr. ago NTA. Of course they are using you for your money. They ignored your birthday. Not the deepest friendship. Otoh maybe you've encouraged this? Here is the remedy. Take time to think about your own goals. What do you want in a friend? Dig deeper into your studies. Hang
    via u/dropdrill
  • 30
    out with older students. Don't announce your wealth by picking up the tab. Make some new friends. Volunteer at a hospital or a library. Help some people who really need it. Give of yourself and life will reward you.
    via u/dropdrill

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