The Glory Days Are Long Gone
When email first arrived, it felt like magic. It was modern, revolutionary, and infinitely better than waiting for actual mail. You could send thoughts across the world in seconds! You could stay connected! You could write memorable subject lines like “Re: Re: FWD: URGENT—SEE BELOW.”
For a while, it worked. It really did. But now? It’s just another daily chore. Every morning I open my inbox and feel like Indiana Jones entering a booby-trapped tomb. The only difference is, the boulders are Groupon offers and LinkedIn “Congrats on your work anniversary!” alerts.
What We Have Now Isn’t Communication. It’s Noise.
I don’t read emails anymore - I triage them.
It’s a war zone. My unread count hovers in the hundreds. Every app, every store, every online form I’ve ever filled out decided we’re pen pals now. I have “VIP priority updates” from brands I didn’t even know existed.
And the worst part? The important messages - the ones from my boss, my kid’s teacher, the bank - get buried under all of it. It’s like trying to find a life raft in a sea of “20% off your next purchase!”
So What’s the Solution?
Brace yourself, because I’m about to say something controversial: AI should replace email. Entirely.
Not “AI-powered Gmail.” Not “smart inbox filters.” I mean - let’s kill the concept of email altogether. Let the robots talk to each other directly and just tell me what I actually need to know.
Picture this:
“Good morning! Your boss wants you to send Q4 predictions, the 3PM meeting moved to 4, and your son’s teacher asked if you have any empty milk cartons for arts and crafts. Enjoy your coffee.”
That’s it. That’s all I want.
No 27-paragraph corporate announcements. No newsletters about synergy. No school emails that read like a Dostoevsky novel.
Just give me the bullet points. The highlights. The bottom line.
I Don’t Even Want to Write Emails Anymore
Let me just say, “Tell the teacher I’ll bring some tomorrow, and Send my boss that document we worked on,” and let my AI handle the rest.
No typing. No “Hope this email finds you well.”
No long, passive-aggressive chains where everyone keeps hitting “Reply All.”
You know what would be revolutionary? An inbox that talks to me instead of at me.
Let the AIs Talk, Leave Us Alone
I don’t care what language my inbox AI uses when it talks to my boss’s AI. It can be binary, emojis, interpretive dance - I don’t care. Just handle it.
Let the machines send each other structured data packets or whatever they want to do. Just send me a morning digest that says:
Here’s what’s important.
Here’s what I already handled for you.
Then, please, let me live my life.
Email Deserves a Dignified Death
Look, I’m not saying we should forget the role email played in shaping modern communication. It was vital. It was revolutionary. But so was the telegraph.
Every tool has its time, and email’s time has passed.
It’s not a communication platform anymore - it’s a clutter generator. A time vampire. A monument to how badly humans handle convenience once we get it.
So yes - let’s end it. Not with a bang, but with a polite automated message that says:
“This inbox is no longer monitored.”
And honestly, I’ve never meant those words more.
