'Fine. I'm out': Jealous professor demands student stop helping other members of staff saying that they're "too involved," student backs off causing havoc

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jul 29, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Not one of us is as infallible as we'd like to think. Draw a line in the sand for where you think you've been right or wrong in disagreements in your life, and then take a couple of steps backward. That perspective will probably show you that you're not really as "correct" as you might have thought, and that line is probably closer to where you're now standing. We're all determinately fastened to our own narrative and have the tendency to be able to convince ourselves that we've done the right thing even when we've been completely off base.

Combine this with the fact that disagreements happen unavoidably in all areas of life. You're never going to agree with everyone on everything; conflict will occur. It's more than likely that both sides have a point, and the absolute truth of the matter will be unclear. How you decide to conduct yourself in these situations will define a larger part of how others perceive your character.

Sometimes, though, you're going to have to agree to disagree, and parting somewhat amicably, though still at odds, is the only course of action. This is the course that this professor and student had to take over the failing of their relationship.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10381315840
    via Zachary Olson
  • 02
    Think I'm "too involved in everything"? Fine. I'm out. M ос This has a bit of long set-up.. sorry. TL;DR: made a professor jealous by helping out the other professors so he told me to stop, which caused havoc in the department
    via u/brother_p
  • 03
    Back in the 80's I was a university student majoring in English in a smallish school. I was one of a small number of students with my own computer and got to know a lot about word processors, desktop publishing software, and (more generally) MS-DOS, the text-based precursor operating system to Windows.
    via u/brother_p
  • 04
    Many of the professors in the department were just starting to buy computers to do their research and writing, and so I often offered to help them with buying/setting them up as well as helping them understand DOS and using their word processors. I and a few friends took over editing and publishing the annual literary magazine, and we also started a department newsletter. I was editor of both. I also served as the student
    via u/brother_p
  • 05
    representative on the Faculty Council. I believed in being useful, and it didn't hurt that the profs all offered to be reference for me in exchange. However, for some reason, one of the professors in the department took umbrage with me for all this. He was usually very friendly to all the other students, but when he'd see me he'd just brusquely pass by. Then, in my senior year, he became the department head and that's when things came to a head.
    via u/brother_p
  • 06
    One day one of the professors asked me to format his forthcoming book for publication. There was a paid research associate in the department but she didn't know how to use desktop publishing software or how to do layout, whereas I, as editor of the magazine and newsletter, had a lot. of experience with both. However, she complained to the department head that I was "taking her job". She knew he didn't like me, so she deliberately. was stirring up
    via u/brother_p
  • 07
    Well, he came running (literally, he ran) up to me and started berating me in front of the research associate and the prof who asked me the favour. He ranted about the things I was doing and said "you're too involved in everything and it isn't appropriate. You are just an undergrad here, and I don't appreciate you undermining <research associate>." He didn't give me a chance to reply, just turned on his heel and strode back to his office, no doubt feeling good about bullying a student.
    via u/brother_p
  • 08
    Cue the malicious compliance. Since he felt I was "too involved in everything" I stopped helping everyone. Printer jammed? Sorry. Lost your Word file? That's a shame. Having trouble making a back-up of your novel? Wish I knew what to tell you. Need to install that new hard drive? Guess you're gonna have to bring it in to the computer shop and pay. Department newsletter, which the president of the university had personally congratulated me on? Ceased publication.
    via u/brother_p
  • 09
    After a few weeks, with things having ground to a halt, the Hit. The. Fan. The other professors all took my side, and called for an emergency Faculty Council meeting. Even though I was the student rep, it was closed door so I never got to hear what happened. The minutes of the meeting merely said "Discussion re: research activities." It lasted for well over an hour and when it was over, the department head called me and invited me in to his office. Once again he did all the talking, but this
    via u/brother_p
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    time he told me he regretted his harsh words, offered a shame-faced apology, told me that he appreciated all the help I had given his colleagues in the past, and expressed his wish that we could put this "unfortunate misunderstanding" behind us.
    via u/brother_p
  • 11
    We shook hands and parted enemies. Things went back to normal. I finished my undergraduate degree and stuck around to do my master's. I continued to do what I always did, and even helped launch a writing tutorial centre in the department that is still operating 35 years later.
    via u/brother_p
  • 12
    DokterZ 11 hr. ago The part where you had to explain MS-DOS made me feel old. In college as a CS undergrad I went from punch cards to mainframe terminals to Apple IICs to IBM PCs in 4 years. Wild times.
    via u/brother_p
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    HelenaHansomcab . 10 hr. ago I love "we shook hands and parted enemies." Great story, and good for you! Sirbo311 10 hr. ago I 100% have done this in my professional career. I never knew how do describe it in words. Thank you for that phrase. I know how to describe this in the future now.
    via u/brother_p
  • 14
    Cocoa Almonds Rock 11 hr. ago • bostondana2 7 hr. ago Dr. Scratchensniff: I take umbrage at that. Yakko: Oh, sure! Take all the umbrage. Don't leave any for us.
    via u/brother_p
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    Tamalene 10 hr. ago • He took accountability? What parallel universe was this?! brother_p OP 10 hr. ago To paraphrase Shakespeare: some are born accountable, some take accountability, and some have accountability thrust upon them.
    via u/brother_p
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    Lazy-Two8387 - 11 hr. ago Well done. What happened to the paid associate? brother_p OP. 11 hr. ago Last I heard she retired some time in the early 2000's.
    via u/brother_p
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    andpassword 9 hr. ago. • We shook hands and parted enemies. This is my favorite sentiment. Thank you.
    via u/brother_p
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    RealFakeLlama 7 hr. ago I had not been so forgiving as you, OP. Publicly (even 'just' in a school setting) i had insisted on something more than an apoligy behind closed doors. Public apoligy. A propper student job with pay since you actualy did not just the assistants job but also kept the place running... there are a lot of stuff the department head could have done to actualy show remorse of his
    via u/brother_p
  • 19
    public dressing down of you and start to show tje value you actualy contributed free of charge untill you was yelled at to stop. Scortch earth - dont like the value i bring free of charge - humble yourself and start show me the value i bring in keeping stuff running, or i simply wouldnt start to help again. , a student job like that would still be cheaper than hireing a non-student.
    via u/brother_p
  • 20
    brother_p OP. 7 hr. ago I did have paid work as well -- I was a TA in my senior year, then a Graduate Assistant while I worked on my MA. The extra stuff I did to help pad my resume and build some references -- which worked when I applied to Teacher's College and then getting my first job.
    via u/brother_p
  • 21
    Fantastic_Finger4497 9 hr. ago Your nane should have been recorded in that school. You were the GOAT and MVP for quite some time.
    via u/brother_p
  • 22
    S99B88 7 hr. ago • Good for him for being able to see reason and eat crow. Not sure if some professors fail to understand the power imbalance, and thus the impact that a little rant like that can have on a student. Especially when they become department heads, they definitely need to think before they speak
    via u/brother_p
  • 23
    • brother_p OP · 6 hr. ago A big, heaping plate of crow that was fed to him by the rest of the department. Though I don't know what they said to him, I imagine a lot of it had to do with exactly what you say. He abused his power and I'm sure they told him they would go to the Dean or President and have him removed as department head for his temper tantrum.
    via u/brother_p

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