After Finding Out About His Wife's Infidelity, Husband Retaliates by Cheating with Two Women While She Is Deployed, 'I will match you tenfold!'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 29, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Greetings, goddesses. Some of you may be acquainted with the concept of the 'threefold law.' Basically, it is the idea that whatever vibes or actions you put out into the universe, positive or negative, you will receive back times three. Typically, this refers to a karmic energy out of the control of us mere, puny humans, but sometimes people take revenge into their own hands. 

In our story today, a woman who sent explicit photos to another man, is shocked to find that her husband kept true to his promise of returning her actions tenfold. When she was deployed, she thought that they had settled the matter and smoothed things over, but when she returned, she realized that he was not quite over it. By sleeping with two married women, his actions were certainly ten-times worse-- just as promised! Is this relationship worth salvaging now that her husband feels that he got his revenge? Read below to see what commenters suggested. 

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  • 01
    TWO TAKE r/TwoHotTakes u/evading_my_mind • 4d I found out my husband had an affair with one of our "best friends"
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 02
    First post because I'm desperate for advice. I (25F) just found out my husband (29M) had an affair with one of our very close friends. I recently deployed last September and during that time frame we were going through a very hard time. I'll be the first to admit that I am not perfect and I had sent inappropriate messages to someone I shouldn't have. I needed to preface that because it's only fair. He and I talked a little about separation and then he said he was seeing someone. He wouldn't answ
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 03
    Fast forward and I'm back home. We are back in a really good position after weeks of intense individual counseling. I love him- and our family (we have 2 kids)... but I just found out through his Apple Watch with who he was seeing.
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 04
    I couldn't sleep tonight and I had grabbed his watch to charge because he had kept saying he kept forgetting to charge it because he wants to wear it again. Something in me told me look and I wish I hadn't. I tapped her name and started scrolling. The exchanges of I love yous ripped my heart out. Additionally the way he was ☐ talking with our neighbor had me feeling some type of way. These are both two females who are till this day in our everyday life and now I feel betrayed.
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 05
    How do I approach him about this or do I save it for therapy? Wish I was joking but I'm not.
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 06
    UPDATE Hey Reddit- here's an update for you. To preface- I did send sexually explicit messages to someone and shared pictures. Never did anything physical happen and I am ashamed of my actions and have been actively seeking therapy and am currently in addiction recovery. I AM actively trying to better myself.
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 07
    I confronted him this morning simply with: "hey- I need you to be real with me because I need to process it, set boundaries, and then determine if we can move on. Did you sleep with HER or HER or BOTH OF THEM" Him: "I guess you need to process it" Me: "so both of them?" Him: "yes. I told you whatever you do that I would do ten fold. You knew I was heart broken" Me: "right and I understand that but I took accountability and KNOW that I wasn't coping healthily and I've been ACTIVELY seeking help a
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 08
    So.... Yes. He slept with our very close friend AND the neighbor. Both of them are engaged/married. Their spouses don't know. Now, both of these people are actively in our life. The neighbor is a frequent visitor and the friend is always in conversation or trying to plan trips.
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 09
    With this new information I will be processing today AND setting boundaries. I feel as if he thinks our marriage is important enough to save then he will be. abiding. I know I sound crazy but I know I'm not innocent and have been remorseful in my actions and realizing a deeper problem, and actively seeking help for it.. Anyways... I will update you guys after our talk later. Thank you. 1,303 ☐ 882 D
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 10
    jakedchi17 4d • He said he was seeing someone and you are in the military. Sounds like a tale as old as time. ... ← Reply 447
    via u/jakedchi17
  • 11
    LousyOpinions • 4d You get an attorney and you allow your therapist to help you process your feelings about the divorce. Reply 22.4k
    via u/LousyOpinions
  • 12
    Tight-Shift5706 • 3d This, OP. Messaging someone doesn't equate to 2 women while married. It's called adultery. Take the trash to the curb. No contact all 3. Talk about the consummate betrayal. How can any of them look you in the face? Vile!! 1.1k
    via u/Tight-Shift5706
  • 13
    sarcastic-pedant • 3d 100% this. Punishing you by doing "Tenfold" of what you did isn't healthy. You are right in owning that you started this situation, but your husband clearly doesn't want to forgive and move on. Due to your infraction (emotional cheating), this has given him the green light to actually cheat on you with two people over a long period of time. This is ridiculously disproportionate, and he is acting like he has the upper hand because you did something first and broke his heart.
    via u/sarcastic-pedant
  • 14
    Ask yourself: Will he ever forgive Will he ever be faithful Will he value your relationship Will your relationship be supportive like you both deserve If not, just cut your losses. If you are deployed, what's to stop him from finding another partner. You are nowhere without trust, and your trust is gone. ← ☆ ☆ 44
    via u/sarcastic-pedant
  • 15
    rabidrodentsunite • 3d Also, on what planet do you want to stay with someone who intentionally plans to hurt you 10 times harder than you hurt them?? There's no love there. БДД 24 д
    via u/rabidrodentsunite
  • 16
    Lilith504 4d Make sure to always save the evidence, he can delete it then you have nothing. What if he remembers the Apple Watch or he deletes everything and is more careful, lock down your evidence. Reply 430
    via u/Lilith504
  • 17
    Jack2Sav 3d Save the evidence? For what? If we're talking US, pretty much everywhere now has no-fault divorce. This totally changed the game as far as the relevance of an affair. So unless there's a prenup in place that's both enforceable and specifically addresses adultery, it is generally irrelevant in the distribution of assets. 44
    via u/Jack2Sav
  • 18
    Hisyphus ⚫ 3d If he's cheating that could change whether he gets some type of alimony or her retirement benefits depending on if he's a civilian. 22
    via u/Hisyphus
  • 19
    test_test_1_2_3 • 4d You're both cheaters in each others eyes, what's left to save? Just split up and try to be good co parents. Did he do this in response to finding out you had been messaging someone or had it been going on before that? Either way? Nothing left worth saving, you'll never trust each other and there's no reason why you should. ... Reply 203
    via u/test_test_1_2_3
  • 20
    tmchd. 4d Wait a minute. Are they still seeing each other based on the chat? He and I talked a little about separation and then he said he was seeing someone. He wouldn't answer any of my questions about it when prompted. I was going through a lot and told myself I deserved it.
    via u/tmchd
  • 21
    So you were separated or not when he was seeing these ladies? I'm just going to be blunt here. There are some layers to this, if you guys were separated and he ended up seeing someone else during separation. I would say that it's not an affair.
    via u/tmchd
  • 22
    BUT. Knowing that the other person if actually your mutual friends and very close to you...that gives me the ick big time. Since you say you're close to those two ladies who dated him...what did they say when they found out you two are working things out and that uh, you are back together with him? Are they playing snake and pretending to your face that nothing was going on? That they had relations with your husband? Now back to my first question, are they still seeing each other behind your bac
    via u/tmchd
  • 23
    Honestly, if I were you, I would not want to be around these two ladies anymore, and your husband (since he agreed to work things out with you) should cut out his lovers too out of your life. If it were me, I'd lean to not being with him anymore You love the idea of your family being together. But the cracks are there. He deliberately hid from you the fact that he was having relations with two of your good friends. And these ladies....definitely are not your friends. I would cut these people out
    via u/tmchd
  • 24
    evading_my_mind OP. 4d They are not seeing each other anymore. We were not actually separated, it was a tough time but we never physically said that we were separated. I, again felt like I deserved some form of punishment for what I had done (as stated in post. And I know now through therapy that I did NOT deserve that.) so when he said he was seeing someone I just said "okay"
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 25
    The biggest caveat is yes- I did NOT know it was someone who is very close to us. Someone who we considered our children's aunt. Yes they act like nothing happened. I just don't know how to be like "hey- what the happened here. Stop talking to them if you really want this marriage to work" 142
    via u/evading_my_mind
  • 26
    PhotoGuy 342 • 3d Sorry-I just don't get it when some people equate a separation with a divorce. They're still married and the vows are still in full effect. A separation doesn't give either side a free hall pass. It may not constitute an affair but it's sure as heck cheating. ☆ 27 ♡
    via u/PhotoGuy342
  • 27
    foolmeonce-01 • 4d Invite both women to your house at the same time, hand him the papers, ask the ladies if you can video tape them fighting over your scraps as you want to sell the video and get something useful out of knowing them and him. ... ← Reply 110
    via u/foolmeonce-01
  • 28
    lamblichusSneezed • 4d I don't understand why you think this person who just betrayed you will be a productive conversation partner. Get a divorce and a lawyer if necessary. Never talking to him again is almost certainly your best option. ← Reply + 99 ↓
    via u/lamblichusSneezed

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neighbors marriage spouse military wife reddit story marriage-drama relationships husband advice cheating couples love infidelity reddit thread Reddit adultery
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