'Your wife should meet with a lawyer while you're gone': Husband plans to attend wedding in Aruba without his wife, fails to see why his wife is upset

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 2, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

When you're married, you're allowed to do things alone. You're still a person with their wants, desires, and lives. It probably even helps to have some separate activities, or else you'd quickly get sick of each other. Weddings, though, are generally something that you do together. It's just one of those things. It's like a sign to the newlywed couple that marriage works, or something. You get dressed up and you go together. Unless one of you can't make it for some reason, then you send your regrets. Sorry, I don't make the rules! 

But to not even invite your brother's wife, that's a whole different story. But that's what happened to one couple whose foundation was quickly shaken by an invitation to a destination wedding. Read on for the story and decide who was in the wrong. It's always fun to get in the middle of someone else's drama, right? 

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    Cheezburger Image 10382331904
    via Samantha Gades
  • 02
    WIBTA For Going My Sister's Destination Wedding Without My Wife?
    via u/Direct-Concert721
  • 03
    So, I'm 40M and I'm married to 40F. My sister's wedding is in Aruba, and it's in October. It's not to big of a wedding, maybe 50-60 people max, and when invites rolled in last week, I didn't get a +1. Some people did, but I didn't, maybe because I'm not really a guest guest and I'm the photographer.
    via u/Direct-Concert721
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    When my wife saw it, she asked where the plus one was, and I just told her I didn't get one. The conversation went like Her: So how am I supposed to come with you?
    via u/Direct-Concert721
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    Me: You're probably not, given there is no plus one. Her: So I'm not invited Me: Will you didn't your own invitation did you?
    via u/Direct-Concert721
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    Her: So you're not going anymore right? Me: Well, I already agreed to be the photographer, sorry you can't go but I made a commitment.
    via u/Direct-Concert721
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    She got pretty upset at that last part, and said that it was to invite me, but not her, which she isn't wrong about, but it's her wedding so I have no say in that (before she even saw it, I called my sister and asked for a plus one, and she said no.) But I told her that's what I have to do.
    via u/Direct-Concert721
  • 08
    She didn't like that explanation either, and she is doing a mix of A) Convincing me not to go, B) Telling me not to go, and C) Getting upset when I tell her I'm not doing either of those things. And it's started some arguments. AITA?
    via u/Direct-Concert721
  • 09
    National Pension_110. 100% YTA. And so is your sister. Unless there's a lot more to this story, like that your wife has put a hit out on your sister or tried to run her over with a car, there is no excuse. Just for the record, your wife is not your "plus 1." She's your wife, and the invitation
    via u/National Pension_110
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    should have been to the two of you. The fact that you're considering taking family money and going on vacation to Aruba without your wife speaks a lot about the state of your marriage. Go to Aruba. Your wife should meet with a lawyer while you're gone.
    via u/National Pension_110
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    Easy-Locksmith615 · 2 hr. ago Normally I can't stand this 'go get divorce' reddit attitude. but this... I would totally divorce my spouse over sth like this. If you marry someone, this person should become your nr 1 priority. Not your mom, friends or sister.
    via u/Easy-Locksmith615
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    OP, unless your wife is treating your sister like for no good reason, your sister created situation in which you have to choose between her and your wife. And if you want your marriage to last, you're choosing wrong.
    via u/Easy-Locksmith615
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    Artistic Thought7309 YTA. I could write pages and pages on why, but the very fact that you do not find it troubling that your wife is not invited to her SIL wedding, speaks volumes of what an absolute AH you are.
    via u/Artistic_Thought7309
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    But oh, you are going there as a wedding photographer, so... and i am sure there are not photographers in Aruba.... I would not be surprised you returning to an empty home after Aruba. And you would so deservedly have earned that.
    via u/Artistic_Thought7309
  • 15
    Inevitable-Chest-143 3 hr. ago Info: why isn't your wife invited? Would you be invited if u weren't the photographer? How is your sister financially compensating you for being photographer? 1. 50-60 people is a decent size wedding. It's very odd to not invite your brother and HIS WIFE. Don't shrug it off as "oh I didn't get a plus one." No, she's your wife. Not a girlfriend, not an extra date. What's the deal?
    via u/Inevitable-Chest-143
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    SqueekyOwl ⚫ 3 hr. ago • edited 3 hr. ago It was extremely of your sister to exclude your wife from the wedding. So what if you are the photographer? She, you, AND YOUR WIFE are FAMILY. I recommend telling your sister to invite the wife, or find another photographer. Excluding your spouse is not acceptable.
    via u/SqueekyOwl
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    Yes, you will be the if you go to this wedding that she is excluded from. Your sister is also an for excluding your wife. And you are an for dismissing her upset so coldly and callously.
    via u/SqueekyOwl
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    Ariesinnc3017 · 3 hr. ago YTA. Apparently your sister took her dismissive attitude towards your wife from you. So many questions and concerns you should have and your basic lack of curiosity is astounding. Unless your wife and sister despise each other and you failed to mention it here, which makes you an AH to us, for wasting our time on you.
    via u/Ariesinnc3017
  • 19
    cascadia1979 - 3 hr. ago YTA and so is your sister. This is your wife we are talking about. It is a sign of huge disrespect for your sister to not invite her and an even bigger disrespect for you, her husband, to tell her not to come. You should apologize to your wife and tell your sister that either your wife is invited to the wedding or you're not coming.
    via u/cascadia1979
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    For context, I got married last summer. The photographer and his wife are family friends. We still invited his wife because we're not
    via u/cascadia1979

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