Freeloading dad asks teacher to make 8-year-old son and stepdaughter share school supplies, gets mad when ex-wife puts a stop to it: 'They can't afford to do this'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 2, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Blended families are more common than ever nowadays, but that doesn't mean that they are any less complicated. When you have kids together, it is likely that you still have to deal with your ex-partner and they aren't always going to be charitable about that. The risk of disagreements can heighten even further if your ex gets remarried, not least because their new spouse is likely to take their side—or even make it worse. 

This is something that one mom found herself dealing with when her eight-year-old son and his stepsister from his dad's new marriage ended up sharing the same class. She realized that the girl had been sharing the school supplies she bought for him because her ex and his wife told him to. She requested that the teacher not allow this, and it's fair to say that this decision ruffled some feathers. It feels mean to make your budgetary constraints a child's problem.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10382895104
    via Aaron Burden

    Photo does not feature real subject in the story

  • 02
    AITA for labeling my son's school supplies and informing his next teacher they are not to be shared with his stepsister?
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 03
    My son isn't back in school yet but I was contacted by his teacher for next grade asking if I had bought him all the required items and to inquire about any donated class supplies. While we were talking I told her that I had labeled my son's supplies and do not want him forced to share those with his stepsister (not my stepchild, my ex's). I also made it clear I was not counting the donated class supplies I'd be giving but just my son's personal ones. Last grade it was a constant issue and the t
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 04
    His teacher said she made a note of it and wouldn't make him share. My ex and his wife were contacted also. Her about her two kids (daughter and a younger son).. Him about our son. His wife apparently told the teacher her daughters supplies would be shared by my son and she corrected them and said she must have his own because class supplies can't substitute him the entire year.
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 05
    This was followed by my ex calling to say they can't afford to do this He said it was bad enough finding stuff for the kids to use when my son was leaving his supplies in the cubby at school so they couldn't be used by all the kids. But now the school is saying they can't be divided between the two kids and that I'm a selfish for that. He said they're family and it shouldn't be this big of an issue. I told him I was not responsible for providing for his stepkids. That if they can't afford them t
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 06
    Ex's wife reached out and told me I should be ashamed, I should be more willing to let the sharing happening, they're siblings and belong to the same family, innocent child. I told her that if she cannot afford to buy her kids supplies she should find their dads and ask. Not expecting me, who has nothing to do with her kids, to support them.
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 07
    For context my son is 8, his stepsister is also 8 or literally about to turn 8 and his stepbrother is 5/6. My son wasn't willingly sharing the supplies. He was forced to by his teacher and he hated it because she did ruin some of his best supplies, especially crayons and color pencils but also his sharpener. I don't think it was intentional. It seems like she's just a rougher kid with stuff. Ex and his wife say I'm an and should feel so ashamed for willingly letting a child in the family suffer
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 08
    GundyGalois NTA Why would you be obligated to buy supplies for another kid? It's telling how demands of "sharing" and accusations of "selfishness" only go one way here.
    via GundyGalois
  • 09
    LowVegetable3961 Apparently I'm supposed to be the bigger person, think of the kids, accept that I can mostly afford it and do this so they can have the weight taken off of them, like I had anything to do with them coming together and getting married when they can't afford stuff for her kids.
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 10
    Commercial-Loan-929 You're thinking of the kids... to be more specific you're thinking of your kid, you know, the only one you're responsible for. Their poor parenting, planning and budgeting is NOT your problem, but them overstepping your kid boundaries IS your problem.
    via Commercial-Loan-929
  • 11
    Maybe if your kid had told you "I have no problem sharing with stepsister" then all good, but your kid doesn't want to share with someone who doesn't have the minimum of respect for his belongings. NTA and reiterate to the teacher that your son will NOT share his school supplies with stepsister and they should inform you if stepsister takes his belongings
    via Commercial-Loan-929
  • 12
    Straight JacketRacket NTA and good for you for having a shiny backbone. "Think of the kids!" doesn't fly when she's trying to pin responsibility onto other people. She can find someone else to manipulate through pity.
    via StraightJacketRacket
  • 13
    LowVegetable3961 Especially when it ends up being a completely unrelated third party who is expected to take on the burden of the cost. Never someone who actually has something to do with the kids in question.
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 14
    YoureSooMoneyy Will they have to share the car you buy him at 16 as well? How much are school supplies? $100? $150? They had a whole year to plan. They need some major financial help if this is too big of a burden. I see free backpack/school supply events all of the time. Maybe find a couple and send him the information. This is crazy.
    via YoureSooMoneyy
  • 15
    Critical-Musician630 Teacher here! Our school supply list must be under $15 to purchase everything. The only necessary item not on the list is a backpack. You can get a cheap backpack for $15 or less at Ross or Walmart. You can get a nice backpack for $30. Mine (which I've used every single school day for the last 3 years) was $25 at Ross. It honestly is not expensive to purchase basic supplies for your kid. Definitely not $100! The audacity of this family to ask OP before asking the school is c
    via Critical-Musician630
  • 16
    TX-Pete I'm going with the teacher as the AH here. They disclosed an awful lot of unnecessary information if it was immediately turned back on you.
    via TX-Pete
  • 17
    LowVegetable3961 This is the second year I've experienced this. Apparently they like to have an idea of who'll have supplies, what they get donated, etc, a few weeks before school starts back up. I don't know any other school around us that does it and this school only started a year ago.
    via LowVegetable3961
  • 18
    Pretzelmamma This is infuriating to me. My youngest niece missed her first year of real school due to lock down and her mom excitedly purchased all the required items included on the list. Because my niece was worried (having been out of school / nursery for so long) she let her pick exactly what she wanted and even paid a little extra to have her name embossed onto her colouring pencils. Within a week the teacher took the coloured pencils and put them in communal pots in the middle of the table
    via Pretzelmamma
  • 19
    sinaice98 In order for HIS stepchild to not suffer, your actual child should? And if I want to ask someone to help me out, I would not call them a NTA
    via sinaice98

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