Sibling Sparks Family Drama by Gifting $500 to One Sister's Wedding and Only $100 to Other Sister Who Eloped: 'I thought it would be understood that the situations were different'

Advertisement
  • 01
    . r/AmltheAsshole 19 hr. ago According Line9649 AITAH for not giving my sister who eloped as generous as a gift as my sister who had a traditional wedding?
  • 02
    My parents had me when they were really young, are still together now and had two more kids, my sisters Katie and Jess later on. Im 15 and 17 years older than them. respectively. Because of the age gap, we didn't really grow up together and sometimes I feel more like an uncle than
  • 03
    a big brother to them. Ive been fortunate in my career to do relatively well and Ive typically been pretty generous with them when it comes to things like Birthday's, Christmas, and graduations. My sister Katie got married 2 summers ago and had your typical traditional
  • 04
    wedding. Id guess around 125 people were there, it was very nice, and definitely not cheap. I dont know how much they spent but I know my parents and her husbands only were able to contribute for about half the cost. The rest was my sister and her husband paying for it. They were
  • 05
    super cool and let me and my wife bring our 2 kids even though I later found out the venue charged the same for kids as adults for the food and everything. It meant a lot and I didnt want their inclusion to be a burden so my wife and I gifted them $500 as a wedding present to cover our plates plus a little extra.
  • 06
    My sister Jess has always been more "low key". When she got engaged she told us all she would likely elope and nobody tried to convince her otherwise because it made sense for them. They arent flashy and have always seemed pretty frugal,
  • 07
    definitely not the type to throw a big wedding costing 10s of thousands. They announced a couple weeks ago that they eloped in the mountains with just them and the necessary witness. I was happy for them and didnt feel like I missed out on anything, Ive been to enough
  • 08
    weddings that I dont have fomo, Im just happy they had what felt right for them. Since they didnt have a wedding, I didnt think to get them a wedding present because you know no wedding...but they did just go under contract on their first home together so my wife and I got them a $100 gift card to Home Depot. I
  • 09
    remember when I first bought my first home there were a lot of home improvement stuff and I made about 100 trips there so thought it would be a nice gift. Apparently she asked Katie what they got for their wedding and she told them and now felt a certain way about our gift to
  • 10
    them. She made a comment about feeling like their marriage wasnt respected enough because they didnt throw a big party and said it felt like I was showing favoritism. I told her I have Katie more because she hosted my whole family and I know how expensive that is having paid for my own wedding. Jess
  • 11
    kinda rolled her eyes and walked away after that interaction and we havent talked about it since. That was this past Sunday. I thought it would be understood that the situations were just different and its
  • 12
    unreasonable to expect the same generosity when you don't give any generosity (aka hosting and feeding people) by not having a traditional wedding and not inviting us to celebrate with them. Maybe I am wrong though so wanted some neutral opinions.
  • 13
    NotCreativeAtAll16 • 19h ago Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [316] NTA. You got a wedding gift for the older sis partly to cover the cost of four plates at their wedding. For my wedding last year, which wasn't flashy, dinner was more than $100 a plate. Your $500 gift wouldn't have covered the cost of your dinner, I think. At the end of the day, you likely helped fund their wedding and nothing more.
  • 14
    The other sis didn't even have a wedding, so her gift is all gift. She's a major AH for comparing the two situations. Honestly I wouldn't have even given a gift to someone who didn't have a party. That you did and she's now saying it wasn't enough makes her the AH of the story.
  • 15
    • . fallingintopolkadots 19h ago Edited 19h ago Craptain [159] Ehhhh. I get the concept of the gift for Katie being "bigger" because they had a formal wedding and you're "covering" for all of your plates. But, also, she's your sister...... so I'm sure part of it was wanting to give your sister a nice gift to start her new married life? Maybe? (I personally think it should be)
  • 16
    Jess is also starting married life; she and her now husband just opted to not have a big wedding, but they are buying a house. So was the gift more of a "housewarming" type of gift, as opposed to "I'm celebrating your new marriage" kind of gift? Did they have a registry of any kind? Only asking because I do know some people who eloped or had a micro wedding and created a registry because -- people family and friends -- still wanted to gift them something to celebrate the big step in their lives.
  • 17
    Not saying what you gave was wrong... but I can sort of see how Jess may have felt a bit slighted (kinda tacky to ask what you had gifted her sister... but also... sisters, so).
  • 18
    JC-Cracker • 18h ago NTA - My wife and I eloped. Months later my mom asked if we were going to do an open house. We never did, nor did we expect family to give us anything. It;s just what happens when you elope vs having a traditional wedding.
  • 19
    liquidmccartney8 • 19h ago Edited 19h ago Enthusiast [5] NAH Nobody is ever entitled to a gift or a gift worth a specific amount of money, but I can totally understand how giving your sibling a cash gift. in an amount that's drastically lower than what you gave the other sibling for the exact same occasion would be looked upon as kind of a middle finger, so I can't say she's the for being offended.
  • 20
    I don't understand or agree with your way of thinking about wedding gifts as repayment for inviting you to the reception at all, but you were within your rights to make the decision. you made so I can't say you're the either.
  • 21
    Apparently she asked Katie what they got for their wedding and she told them and now felt a certain way about our gift to them. She made a comment about feeling like their marriage wasnt respected enough because they didnt throw a big party and said it felt like I was showing favoritism.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article