Wedding Guest Brings Uninvited Boyfriend to Stay in Hotel with Her During Destination Wedding, MOH Says It Makes Everyone Uncomfortable: 'No one even knew he was there'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Aug 12, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Making a wedding guest list is hard. Take it from someone in the depths of their wedding planning; it's hard to find a point where you have to start cutting people from the list. Does my fiance really need to invite his estranged group of third cousins? Probably not. Will it cause family drama if they aren't invited? Probably. And then there's the whole plus one thing. I want everyone to be able to bring whoever they want to enjoy the night with but also have a hard time stomaching paying so much money for strangers to attend my wedding. But that's just the way it goes. 

This wedding guest was invited to a small destination wedding. Even though her boyfriend had met the bride and groom on multiple occasions, he wasn't invited to the wedding. Which is okay, but the guest didn't think anything of it. Since the wedding was far away and there was only large hotel rooms left to book, she asked her boyfriend to accompany her and just hang out at the hotel while she went to the wedding festivities. It seemed harmless at first until the maid of honor turned into a total bridezilla about it. Keep reading to see how she reacted. 

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  • 01
    A few days later the MoH reached out and said it was awkward and uncomfortable for me to have invited him to the hotel and it made 'everyone' feel bad and weird that he was there waiting for the wedding to end when they hadn't invited him.
    via Ahmed
  • 02
    r/AmltheA No_Ganache_2548 • 7 hr. ago AITA for bringing an uninvited guest to a destination wedding?
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 03
    I (26F) was invited to a wedding within my state but far enough that to attend I'd have to sleep over at a hotel for at least two nights if I arrived the night before as it was planned to be a pretty much all-day affair.
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 04
    I was very flattered to be invited as I didn't think I was that close to the couple. It was a fairly small wedding (~60 guests including the bridal party). Obviously as it was very small and I was possibly a second round invitee I didn't get a plus one. Fine with me.
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 05
    I ultimately decided to go. When I went to book the hotel room for my stay I found they only had large rooms available (multiple beds or king beds etc) as it's a popular wedding destination and is a bit fancy. So, I thought, why not invite my boyfriend (26M)? That way we could trade off on
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 06
    the long drive there and back and share the big room I would have to pay for anyways. The idea was that night we arrived we could get dinner together somewhere new and have a nice breakfast before heading back home. While I was at the wedding
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 07
    events he could just hang out in the hotel room or the pool or whatever. The wedding went great, but then after it wrapped up, the maid of honor (who I'm closer to than the bride) was chatting with me as I walked back to my room and I knocked on the door
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 08
    instead of digging through my bag for the keycard. When my boyfriend opened the door for me the MoH just greeted him and walked off. I didn't think it was a big deal or anything.
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 09
    A few days later the MoH reached out and said it was awkward and uncomfortable for me to have invited him to the hotel and it made 'everyone' feel bad and weird that he was there waiting for the wedding to end when they hadn't invited him.
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 10
    We were both a bit surprised! No one even knew he was there because it didn't come up at all during the wedding. It definitely wasn't a secret, and honestly, we wouldn't have thought it was a big deal if people did know. AND he had only met the bride
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 11
    and groom like six times and had zero issues with not being invited to such an intimate wedding. Also if it matters I was far from the only guest who didn't get a plus one and I never asked to be given a plus one for him.
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 12
    I have no clue if the MoH told the bride and if the bride also thinks this was inappropriate. If she hasn't I really don't want to contact her during her honeymoon to start drama. I didn't check or anything beforehand (that's my bad, I guess) so was inviting him really a big deal?
    via u/No_Ganache_2548
  • 13
    EndielXenon • 7h ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] NTA. Let's see. You didn't... ... insist on getting a plus one. • ... throw a fit when you didn't get a plus one. • ... tell tell everyone how unfair it was that you didn't get a plus one. ⚫ ... tell tell anyone that your boyfriend was even there.
    via u/EndielXenon
  • 14
    ... complain about the fact that your boyfriend was sitting back in the room alone. ... sneak your boyfriend into the reception or sneak him some food or booze. ... leave the festivities early to get back to your boyfriend. So basically the MoH was complaining that your boyfriend existed in the same space as you? Pfft.
    via u/EndielXenon
  • 15
    ArtShapiro 7h ago Pooperintendant [55] NTA This is really strange. It looks like folks are trying to create a problem when one doesn't exist. Both you and your BF were happy to make the trip and for him not to intrude on the wedding. The whole incident just doesn't make sense.
    via u/ArtShapiro
  • 16
    SupermarketNeat4033 Enthusiast [7] NTA • 7h ago Your boyfriends a grown man who chose to go knowing full well he'd be spending the some alone time at the hotel and having his own mini vacation while you were at the wedding. There's no reason to feel bad on his behalf.
    via u/SupermarketNeat4033
  • 17
    I could maybe see it being awkward if the MoH wanted to or assumed she would hang out with after the wedding; after all she did walk with you to your room so maybe she was anticipating being invited in? Maybe if they saw him around the hotel and felt compelled to make small talk or purposefully avoid him? But either way, who cares? So there was a few minuets of awkwardness. That happens in life sometimes.
    via u/SupermarketNeat4033
  • 18
    I absolutely wouldn't bring it up to anyone else, honeymoon or not, unless they bring it up first. Nothing can be changed about it, so I'd say just move on.
    via u/SupermarketNeat4033
  • 19
    Peony-Pony • 6h ago Craptain [193] NTA You invited your boyfriend to accompany to a destination wedding. You did not bring him to any of the wedding festivities. The maid of honor and anyone else who tells you you can't invite someone to accompany you somewhere on your dime can get stuffed. It's none of their business.
    via u/Peony-Pony
  • 20
    . Scenarioing • 6h ago Pooperintendant [50] "it made 'everyone' feel bad and weird that he was there waiting for the wedding to end when they hadn't invited him." ---That doesn't even make sense. Destination weddings... We just can't win. NTA
    via u/Scenarioing
  • 21
    FasterThanNewts . 6h ago The MOH is a busybody who needs to get a life. NTA
    via u/FasterThanNewts
  • 22
    buffythebudslayer • 6h ago NTA. The only person making it awkward and uncomfortable is the MoH. If I had to drive hours and spend the night to attend an acquaintance's wedding with no +1, ya I'm inviting my boyfriend to keep me company on the drive and hotel stay. The heck?! It's safer
    via u/buffythebudslayer
  • 23
    hikergirl26 .7h ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] NTA Why can't someone stay with you for the hours that you are not at the wedding. If things were awkword, the MOH is the AH. Why should she care and why should she tell everyone.
    via u/hikergirl26
  • 24
    I was once invited to a destination wedding without a plus one to another country. Everyone else I knew going to the wedding was getting married or in the wedding party. I ended up not going because it was too expensive but if I did go I was going to make a vacation of it and bring some one with me to explore but they would not have attended the wedding. You were not hurting anyone and had some fun yourself.
    via u/hikergirl26

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boyfriend friendship guests bride entitlement drama destination wedding friends relationships wedding entitled reddit thread Reddit Maid Of Honor
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