Entire Department Attends Employee's Wedding Except One, Bride Claims She Couldn’t Make It, Coworker Reveals at Meeting That She Wasn't Invited: 'I could see the brides face visibly change'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Aug 10, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

When you are planning a wedding, finalizing the guest list can seem like an impossible task. As much as you'd like to invite everyone you can, financially, your bank account might not allow that. And then there are all of the plus ones, too. You can't deny every guest a plus one, even if you don't really know their date. It's customary, even though no one wants to spend their big day with people whom they don't know or want to be there. But what this entitled bride did was next level. 

She decided to invite her entire department from work to her wedding. Granted, it's a small department of about ten employees, so when she decided to exclude one coworker, it didn't take long for work to get around. Initially, she told everyone that that coworker wasn't able to attend. However, when this was revealed in a meeting when they were all back together at work, the uninvited employee had no issues setting the record straight. 

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  • 01
    r/Amithe WilliamBHuggins • 23 hr. ago AITA for letting people know I was the only one in my department not invited to coworkers wedding when they were told I couldn't attend?
    via u/WilliamBHuggins
  • 02
    So a woman in my department got married. Everyone in the department (10, excluding bride) was invited except for me. I was personally told the wedding was being kept small as they didn't want to spend extravagantly. The others were
    via u/WilliamBHuggins
  • 03
    told that I couldn't attend. At a department meeting following the wedding when the bride was back from the honeymoon, everyone was talking about the wedding. A coworker commented it was a shame I couldn't attend; I remarked that I wasn't even
    via u/WilliamBHuggins
  • 04
    invited. I could see the brides face visibly change and now she is mad at me and out working relationship is cordial at best. To further this, our department had a dinner and celebration for her and I contributed to the gift. The date was
    via u/WilliamBHuggins
  • 05
    selected and changed based on others availability, but I couldn't attend due to a trip overseas I had planned last year. It wasn't even discussed if it could be changed so I could attend. The person organizing it was another coworker and her best friend. I think this other
    via u/WilliamBHuggins
  • 06
    coworker and not the bride herself is the one behind my exclusion for some reason unbeknownst to me. So AITA for clarifying that I was never even invited in front of the whole department that was told that I couldn't attend?
    via u/WilliamBHuggins
  • 07
    cascadia 1979 • 22h ago Aficionado [15] INFO: Why would the bride have chosen to exclude you in particular? What might have happened in the past between you two that could have caused her to exclude you? I don't think you're an for saying you weren't invited, it's the truth, but I do wonder what the backstory is here.
    via u/cascadia1979
  • 08
    Laines_Ecossaises • 22h ago Professor Emeritass [71] ΝΤΑ Same thing happened to me. Every other woman in the office invited to a baby shower. I only knew because someone suggested we ride together. I was friends with the mother but this was when I discovered that the host (another co-worker) didn't want "my kind" in her home. The mother said she felt bad I was excluded but really needed all shower gifts so she said/did nothing.
    via u/Laines_Ecossaises
  • 09
    So the bride in this post may not have excluded OP but she sure as knew about it. Too bad if she feels awkward now. Be cordial, do your job but remember these are not your actual friends.
    via u/Laines_Ecossaises
  • 10
    sfrancisch5842 • 22h ago Edited 19h ago NTA. You told the truth - you weren't invited. Why should you lie about that fact? There is something else going on, though. Which seems weird to me. You might want to preemptively inform your HR rep of this, in case it blows up into something bigger.
    via u/sfrancisch5842
  • 11
    tsscaramel . 22h ago Enthusiast [5] NTA. I don't know what she expected but it was eventually going to come out that you weren't invited imo especially if the stuff about dates being moved around to suit everyone except you is factual. She was clearly the one lying about it and your correction didn't seem malicious so personally I see no issue with it.
    via u/tsscaramel
  • 12
    . duckysmomma • 22h ago Aficionado [19] NTA why the would she expect you to just go along with it? I think it's hilarious if I'm honest, play stupid games and all.
    via u/duckysmomma
  • 13
    StellarPhenom420 Supreme Court Just- ΝΤΑ • 22h ago [105] Not your job to lie for them to save face. They should've known it would've come to light given the limited number of people in the department. I would've doubled down. "Oh I wasn't invited- I was told they were keeping the wedding small. At least I know where I stand with the bride now tho! Guess I shouldn't have contributed to the gift, huh?"
    via u/StellarPhenom42
  • 14
    RikkitikkitaviBommel • 22h ago What did she expect? Of course everyone would discuss her wedding when she got back. Amd of course the one absentee from this group wouldbstand out and be discussed. What did she expect you to answer? If you want someone else to lie for you, it helps to tell them beforehand. They don't know they're supposed to lie for you if you don't tell them.
    via u/RikkitikkitaviBommel
  • 15
    GoodTodd 1970 . 22h ago Partassipant [4] NTA - "Tell the truth and shame the devil," my grandma would say. You told the truth in the face of a lie. It would be insane for the bride or anyone else to expect you to lie when the original deception was to your detriment.
    via u/GoodTodd1970
  • 16
    HotShoulder3099 22h ago When I got married I was working in a really big office where I got on with everyone and I had a really hard time working out who I could invite without seeming to draw mean. lines you know those sort of overlapping - circles you get with work friends? I spend weeks working it out and I was happyish with where I landed, and everyone said yes so my guest list was full. Then about a week later one of the girls I'd ummed and ahhed about and ultimately not invited asked me to
    via u/HotShoulder3099
  • 17
    I asked her for a chat and basically was just honest about it she's at the centre of one of - those circles, I hadn't had the numbers to ask all of them and I hadn't wanted to exclude anyone in that circle so I hadn't asked her because of that. She was totally understanding about it, she'd had exactly the same problem but had just landed at a slightly different place. It was fine, I did go to her wedding and it was lovely, we're still friends
    via u/HotShoulder3099
  • 18
    Whatever your colleague's reasoning, she should have been a grownup and explained it to you. She chose to lie about it instead - effectively to lie on your behalf, in fact - so this is on her. It's not your problem that she looks immature and dishonest, because she's been immature and dishonest. NTA
    via u/HotShoulder3099
  • 19
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aita bride employee drama job meeting work coworkers petty revenge Office reddit thread Reddit company karma
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