Mother of the Bride’s Selfishness and Hysterical Behavior Ruins Daughter’s Wedding, Bride Is Grieving What Should Have Been a Perfect Day: ‘It ruined my moment’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Aug 12, 2024 11:00 PM EDT

You are called the mother of the bride for a reason. It's not your wedding.

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  • Weddings are supposed to be special events for two people in love who want to share that romance with the world. Well, maybe not the world, but definitely with their friends and family. We can only hope that our favorite friends and relatives share the same joy we feel on our wedding day. If they don't, we might be in for a particularly upsetting time. As the bride, a lot more effort goes into setting up hair, makeup, and other bridal activities that our bridesmaids, MOH, and mother use to get ready compared to the groom and his groomsmen. Not to perpetuate a stereotype, but I, as a woman, have witnessed quarrels firsthand and members of the bride's party can get very petty with one another. Unfortunately, the star of the story here is not the bride, nor her bridesmaids—it is the bride's biological mother.

    The entire story is a long read in general, but it is also one filled with a lot of entitlement, gaslighting, and selfishness on behalf of the mother of the bride that I don't think I'd be able to do justice in an explanation. Just know that the mother of the bride is enveloped in jealousy that is directly aimed at her daughter and her bridesmaids (who have done nothing but support the bride in all of her choices). To this day, the bride and her mother rarely speak, and “sorry” is not a part of the mother's vocabulary. Ladies, having a mother doesn't mean you have a supportive mother. You deserve better. Scroll to read the rest of the story and some empowering words of support from other ladies on the internet.

  • 01
    My rudest guest on the wedding... family drama.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 02
    Just to give a little background, I (the bride) used to live in Asia, then I moved to US with my husband. We decided to have a church wedding in my home country to celebrate with my family/relatives since we only had a civil marriage here in US.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 03
    My husband and I traveled to my home country two weeks before our church wedding date to finalize some wedding details and my gown fitting as well as attending to our international guests like picking them up at the airport and taking them to their booked hotels.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 04
    So days before my wedding, we were in the hotel already. My bestfriend which was my Matron of Honor scheduled me for a nail salon appointment to get my nails done before my big day. When I went to my parent's hotel room, I told my mom that I'll have to leave the hotel for my nails salon appointment, then she suddenly accused me of having a bridal shower,
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 05
    partying and getting drunk with my bestfriend. I was so upset and off that I cried, so in short my mom and I ended up having an argument because she stressed me out. (Why would I party the day before my wedding and get drunk? Q) To my
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 06
    disappointment, I just left the hotel and went to nail salon with my bestfriend. After my nails got done, it was pretty late, we ate dinner because I hadn't eaten anything since lunch. Then my mom keeps sending me messages to come to the hotel room already and I don't know why.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 07
    So the next day which is the BIG DAY, my MOH and other bridesmaid and I woke up early to eat our breakfast which was only on the ground floor of the hotel. My mom saw us and she said to my bestfriend "YOU KNOW WHAT, THE BRIDE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WITH
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 08
    THE FAMILY, NOT WITH YOU ON THE WEDDING" (in a raised tone voice of my mom). My bestfriend brushed it off, ignored it, didn't say a word and we continue to eat and finished our breakfast and head back to our respective rooms.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 09
    The wedding vendors came early into my bridal suite and my make-up artist is all set up and started doing my make-up. My make-up artist brought her other teammates, since the rest of her team will be doing my mom's make-up, and my matron of honor and some of my bridesmaids' hair and make-up. I asked my make-up artist
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 10
    who will be the next to sit on the chair for their make-up. She said the the MOH first, the bridesmaids and then my mom would be the last. So I didn't ask anymore because I was thinking a lot of things, I just messaged my MOH to come up to my room for her make- up.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 11
    Anyway, after my make-up is done, I immediately had a photo and videoshoot session, so I was with the photographers and videographers and I was so busy that I wasn't even looking at the time anymore. I didn't pay attention anymore to what others are doing. My bridal suite was very busy and there were a lot of people. The videographers asked me to record. my voice doing the wedding vows to be used for our wedding video.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 12
    So here's what happens next, my mom got in my bridal suite, I heard her she raised her voice at one of my wedding coordinators. All people in the room stopped and I had to stop recording my wedding vows too because we
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 13
    could hear her voice. I was so embarrased. So apparently my mom got mad at the make-up artists and my wedding coordinators for not prioritizing her for her make-up. She was to my wedding coordinator and keeps talking loud while the HMUA was doing her hair and make-up.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 14
    On our family photoshoot, it's supposed to be fun, memorable but my mom ruined it. On a family photoshoot with my mom and father, she keeps saying to me in front of the photographers/videographers "YOU ONLY LOVE YOUR DAD, BUT NOT ME". She had this fake smile and smirked on
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 15
    me which I am very sure was captured on the photo and video. She also said while the photographer capturing our pictures "SMILE! LET'S PRETEND WE ARE HAPPY, EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT REALLY HAPPY". I was so embarrased the way she acted in front of my wedding vendors. I just kinda
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 16
    faked my smile and just wanted the photoshoot session to be over and head out to the church. (Because of this I missed my full body shot bridal portaits. I have more group pictures than solo pictures). I was so stressed, unhappy already that time and I could see the faces of the photographers/videographers that I hired and I apologized to them and they said that it is okay and not to worry.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 17
    On the way to the church, my parents were with me on the car, my mom keeps complaining to me that my make-up artist and wedding coordinators didn't prioritize her. When my parents left the car and went inside the church. My coordinator got inside the bridal car and I keep apologizing to
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 18
    her on how the way my mom acted and I was holding my tears because I was humiliated and it kinda ruined my moment and my coordinator tried to console me and she assured me that she's okay and it's not a big deal for her.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 19
    The wedding ceremony was great and it's actually my favorite part of the day because it was very solemn, the music and the singer at the church was so good and me while walking down the aisle and seeing my husband waiting for me at altar was the best thing. Anyway, on the reception, I think everyone enjoyed the buffet dinner.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 20
    Everyone was saying the foods were delicious. Only thing that kinda ruined it was when one of my coordinators came to me and told me that my mom didn't like the music and she asked if they could change it. The thing is my hubby and I hired a String Quartet and we specifically chose the music to be played in our reception so I was kinda off with her comment.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 21
    My wedding could have been perfect if it weren't for the drama and stress. Most of the guests told me that my wedding was beautiful and they enjoyed it. My husband had only 4 guests on his side (all international guests), the rest are on my side. It was
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 22
    an intimate wedding. So my international guests all think my wedding was perfect and the most beautiful wedding they've ever attended. But sadly, my own family failed to see that and appreciate it.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 23
    Now the wedding has passed, because of all the things that happened, my mom and I are not in good terms. She still keeps complaining about the make-up artist not prioritizing her make-up, that my wedding coordinators failed to do their job. My eldest brother also said that "my bridal
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 24
    suite room was "infested" by my friends instead of a family." He also compared my wedding to his wedding. I didn't like all the remarks they said and the toxicity was extreme for me that I decided not to talk to them at all. I cut communications with them. If you were in my shoes, what you guys would do?
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 25
    It's just everytime I think of our wedding, I feel happy that I got married to my husband at the church, but at the same time I feel sad and disappointed. I wanted to look our photos and videos, but it also reminds me of the bad things that happened on my wedding day. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, but I feel like it ruined my moment.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 26
    ***EDIT: I actually sent my mom a message a few months ago, I said sorry if ever I had some shortcomings or if ever they felt that the family was not prioritized on my wedding, but also explaining to her my side and my frustrations, then she got even mad and said that I was disrespectful. I think she just expects me to say sorry without explaining my side. (I had to say it for my sanity!) and she didn't like that when I told her "Mom, I got upset because you did this... you did the following....
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 27
    But she never even said sorry for her actions on my wedding. I feel like it's hopeless. Anyway, thanks guys for taking time to read this and appreciate all your comments.
    via ProfessionalBit4603
  • 28
    Antique-diva • 1d ago Your mom sounds awful. I'm sorry she didn't support you on your wedding day, but at least the ceremony and reception went nicely, and everyone enjoyed themselves. I'm sure the vendors are used to difficult relatives and didn't care about your mother's tantrums. You should forget about them too.
    via Antique-diva
  • 29
    mysteriousstaircase 22h ago . It sounds like you deserve a fresh and romantic annniversary photo shoot with just you and your husband, the new family you've created with this marriage. Focus on each other, make new memories and have some great full length portraits for yourselves with real smiles and true happiness. I'm so sorry she did that to you, I wish you a long and happy marriage with no continuing drama. You've had enough.
    via mysteriousstaircase

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