Office worker refuses to bake a dessert for coworker's 'grandma shower': 'Ridiculous and not a thing'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 17, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

People come up with the craziest excuses to have a party. And hey, I'm usually all for it. Your favorite artist is putting out a new album? Yeah, let's get the bros together and make some themed appetizers. You just got a promotion at work? Heck yes, take us out to dinner, and let's have champagne. Your dog finally learned how to roll over on command? Let's rent a tent, hire some caterers, and dance all night. It doesn't really matter what the party is for, just that everyone is having fun. But the key thing about a good party is that they don't require anything out of their guests. If you're throwing a frivolous event, you have to provide everything. Those are the rules. 

That's not what happened to one office worker who was asked to provide desserts for an event that's definitely not on the usual rotation of holidays. Read on for the story and decide if her reaction was justified.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10389035264
    via PoloX Hernandez
  • 02
    AITA for refusing to participate in a "grandma shower" at my office?
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 03
    Hi Reddit. I admittedly have some bias when it comes to baby- related stuff so I could use some opinions.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 04
    Something about my workplace -remember the "party planning committee" in The Office? Well, we basically have that. The committee usually is responsible for buying everyone a cake&card on their birthday and we'll have themed lunches every now and then-4th of July BBQ,
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 05
    International potluck for the Olympics, Cinco de Mayo tacos- you get the gist. Now, an important element of this story is the fact that I've always loved baking & am quite good at it. So every time we have a themed
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 06
    lunch, I always bring a baked good that fits the theme. It's gotten to the point where people are always trying to guess what I'll bring and are always super excited to see what I'll do next. Generally, I love it and have fun with it. Until now.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 07
    About a week ago, my coworker announced she's expecting a granddaughter in the fall. An email went around and I sent congratulations. Fine. However, since then, the party planning committee has announced that we will be hosting a "grandma shower" for my coworker for
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 08
    lunch next week and they've been circulating a sign up sheet for everyone to bring food as well as the baby registry and encouraging everyone to participate in a "diaper drive". Notably―I've never met my coworker's daughter and thus seriously doubt I'd ever meet this baby girl.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 09
    So far, there have been about six emails about this "shower". I've been ignoring them all. Then, today, one of my coworkers came into my office and asked why I hadn't signed up to bring dessert yet?
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 10
    Now, here's where I may be TA. I basically told her I wasn't planning on baking something and didn't think I was going to participate in the "shower". When asked why, I just said that tbh, I don't know coworker's daughter and didn't really feel like getting someone I don't know a present for a baby I'll never meet. My coworker made a face and said she understood but that "grandma" coworker might be disappointed.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 11
    On the one hand, I feel like maybe I'm TA and I could have just baked some brownies and called it a day to participate and not hurt anyone's feelings. But on the other hand, I find it absolutely ridiculous to host a "grandma shower" and expect people to bring gifts for a random baby.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 12
    I feel like I am right in standing on principle on this but at the same time I know I have some bias here. For context, my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for years and we are currently undergoing IVF
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 13
    treatments so I know I'm a little sensitive about babies right now. No one at work knows, so I know they're not trying to be cruel. But at the same time, being confronted with babies left and right is also extremely draining for me.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 14
    Idk, Reddit-AITA for refusing to participate or should I just it up and participate with everyone else? Editing to add some additional context:
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 15
    As many people have guessed- yes this is the south and the party planning committee is all Southern white women in their 50/60s. I didn't realize how glaringly obvious that was lol!
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 16
    As far as "grandma" is concerned, I don't necessarily think she pushed for the shower but she's definitely going along with it. Not sure if that affects anyone's opinion but I saw several people assume she's a MIL from and I don't necessarily think that is the case.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 17
    Also-mom-to-be apparently had a baby shower last weekend and another email has been sent out about an hour ago stating that they got so many infant sized diapers at their shower that they're asking we buy diapers the next size up for the "granny shower". I...don't know what to even say to that.
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 18
    & yes, we got bad news IVF-wise last week and I realize I'm emotional and may not be super objective right now
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 19
    WebAcceptable 7932. 21 hr. ago NTA and a grandma shower is just ridiculous and not a thing. The mother to be will get a baby shower. Throwing an additional one and calling it a grandma shower is just tacky.
    via u/WebAcceptable7932
  • 20
    nefarious_planet ⚫ 20 hr. ago Not to mention I absolutely guarantee the grandma's daughter doesn't want random gifts from strangers who happen to work with her mom
    via u/nefarious_planet
  • 21
    babyeventhelosers_⚫ 20 hr. ago You're NTA for not wanting to be involved in a forced office-initiated gift-grab for someone who's not even having the baby themselves. If folks are friends with their coworkers, then sure, get them some congratulatory
    via u/babyeventhelosers_
  • 22
    card or trinket, but a grandma shower is too much. It's not easy to stick. to your principles on something, especially when someone will take it personally, but it doesn't mean you're wrong. You're not wrong. They're asking for too much.
    via u/babyeventhelosers_
  • 23
    Dante2377 21 hr. ago • NTA. This is the "forced" dumb s**t that people hate about offices. grandma shower is one of the dumber things I've heard.....
    via u/Dante2377
  • 24
    Timely_Egg_6827 • 20 hr. ago I organised one for my office. The granny in question organised everyone's wedding, birthday and new baby dos. She was too old at time to get any of those benefits and it seemed too one-sided. So look at
    via u/Timely_Egg_6827
  • 25
    bigger picture. What does. "granny" contribute to office because may be all for her and baby just an excuse. Though that was simple card, earplugs, - teddy, chocolates. Acknowledging her was the key bit.
    via u/Timely_Egg_6827
  • 26
    theamazingloki OP. 19 hr. ago I hadn't thought of it that way, this is a very valid viewpoint. Thanks
    via u/theamazingloki
  • 27
    abominablesnowlady. 18 hr. ago Na, grandma still has her own dang birthday for gifts and cake. She doesn't need a baby shower?
    via u/abominablesnowlady
  • 28
    theamazingloki OP. 18 hr. ago I did volunteer to bake her a cake for her birthday last month. I do like her and think she is a nice lady. I would hope that she would remember that and not think I'm slighting her but idk.
    via u/theamazingloki

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Babies aita workplace-stories work stories the office work coworkers grandma reddit story grandmas office party Office Party office memes workplace baby shower reddit thread Reddit
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