Woman Finds Out Long-Term Boyfriend Is Devastated and Planning To Visit His Hometown Solo After He Finds Out His Ex Is Engaged

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    AIO boyfriend has been acting strange since finding out his ex is getting married
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    We've been together for three years. Before we got together he dated his ex for four or five years (I don't know exactly). They broke up because of his job and he moved here. We started dating pretty soon, like a few months, after they broke up but he assured me he was over her. He never likes talking about her or their relationship at all.
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    So I guess she got engaged recently and he found out from one of his friends who lives in his home state. And I've been shocked because he's really upset, acting out of character about it and not communicating with me at all. I pried it out of him
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    because one day he came home with a bottle of hard liquor and drank and he never drinks. And I kept saying what's wrong what's wrong what's wrong and he just wanted to be in his office by himself. So eventually later after
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    asking repeatedly he tells me and says that it's a "mindf " and he never thought about her dating after him. But won't talk about it further. But he's still acting weird. Then two things happened that have made me very uncomfortable:
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    He out of the blue started talking about going back to his home state to visit his step father. He has never brought this up ever before. They talk sometimes but he's never shown interest in
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    going back. So I said that would be cool I'd love to see your highschool and where you grew up and he said actually he was thinking of going solo just for a couple of days.
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    So then last night after he goes to sleep i got a weird feeling and went on his phone. And I found that he'd been asking friends from his old state to get him her new number, because he wants
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    to talk to her. And he said he wants to say congratulations and one of his friends told him it's not a good idea and he said he just really wants to talk to her.
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    I feel hurt and devastated and even a little betrayed. Why does he have to say congratulations to someone who hasn't been in his life for years? Like if they stayed friendly I wouldn't have cared.
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    But it's scaring me how much this is affecting him. I love him so much, I knew from early on he was the one and I thought he thinks I'm the one too. Then
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    another part of me thinks I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. Everything has been perfect before this, I never felt like he hid things or that we had communication issues. But if he just wanted to say congrats why
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    wouldn't he add her on social media and tell me about it? And why does he suddenly want to go home suddenly now. And now I'm wondering why we've never talked about her but we've talked about my exes and other girls he dated in HS and college?
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    Upset_Researcher_143 . 14h ago Acting strange?!? He's acting like he plans to go see her and tell her he still loves her. I'm sorry but there's unresolved feelings there if he wants to go solo, and he plans on seeing her to try and stop her. Everything that you've described in this post indicates that he is going to see her and profess his love for her.
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    IheartDaRegion • 14h ago He never lost feelings for this woman and was probably using you as a placeholder until he could get her back. He got into a relationship with you to keep his mind off of her. Sorry you are going through this but you should probably just end it.
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    Worldly-Promise675 • 14h ago NOR. You deserve to be with someone who loves you with his whole heart, do not accept second best. If he can't give you that, then walk away before he waste any more of your time and emotions.
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    ImpassionateGods0... • 13h ago Girl, he's planning to go see her behind your back. You weren't the one. You were a rebound, and he never solved his feelings for her. I'd let him go see her, and then leave him when he's back after being rejected by her.
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    One-Draft-4193 14h ago . Not over reacting but it sounds like he is still in love with her. Sorry you have to go through this.
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    • Kip_Schtum 12h ago Ouch. So has he always considered you just a placeholder until he got back with her? And when you break up with him is he going to stalk you because he considers every woman he ever dated to be his property? This all sounds so up. You're definitely not overreacting
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    • Gypsy11189 14h ago Hate to say it but, sounds like he still has strong feelings for her and regrets. Sometimes it's better to let them go. If he really wants to, just let him do it. You don't deserve to be a second option. He needs to be alone and heal!! Or he will never appreciate you and your efforts

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