New Mom Notices Her MIL Has a Cold Sore and Has Her Husband Ask Her Not to Kiss the Baby, Initiates Karen-Level Tantrum From Entitled In-Laws

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Aug 20, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

It's already a terrifying (and exciting) adventure to become a new parent. There are so many things that books, classes, or sage advice just doesn't cover. Every parenting experience is different. So it's important to respect the wishes of the parents because they truly are just doing what they know is best. So what happens if a family member throws a hissy fit because of your parenting style? 

That is what happened to one couple whose boomer parents could not fathom his request. The grandmother had a very obvious cold sore on her mouth, which can be very detrimental to newborns. So the son, aka the father of the baby, asked his mom, aka the grandma, not to kiss his baby while she had a cold sore. You know, for obvious reasons. Like it could make the baby very ill. The grandmother AND the grandfather were so offended by the request, they threw a Karen-level tantrum. What would you do in that situation?

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  • 01
    "Both of my parents are VERY dismissive. They still called me crazy and told me I was overreacting!"
    via Daniel Thomas via Pexels
  • 02
    AITAH for telling my mom not to kiss my newborn while she had cold sores ? Advice Needed Using my wife's account because I don't have a Reddit account. Wife and I are in our 30's and we have a 3 month old baby. Recently my parents came to visit and my wife noticed my mother had a cold sore outside of her mouth. My mom gets a lot of these cold sores outside of her mouth throughout the year. Wife told me to please remind her not to kiss baby right now.
    via Exciting-Stuff-7189
  • 03
    I approached my mother who was carrying our baby. I asked her if she had cut her lip and she responded that it was a cold sore in which to I responded "ahh okay. Can you not kiss the baby right now please mom? It's not good for them". My mom immediately handed me the baby and got visibly upset. She said "oh okay then. Well here's your baby". My father also got very mad at me to the point where they wanted to pick up everything and leave our house (they were here visiting and we were about to sta
    via Exciting-Stuff-7189
  • 04
    They ended up staying it was incredibly awkward. They called me picky, inconsiderate and . My wife had told me about how serious cold sores and kissing babies can be. Could I have been nicer about the whole situation? I guess I could've pulled up an article but both of my parents are VERY dismissive. They could've still called me crazy and told me I was over reacting. 2.4K 1.8 ✓ Share
    via Exciting-Stuff-7189
  • 05
    Glaucus92 5h ago NTA. There was a story on one of the update subs not too long ago about a parent who kissed their baby on the top of the head while having a cold sore, and that baby nearly died. From the last update this child was recovering well, but the story was harrowing. 706 Reply
    via Glaucus92
  • 06
    hamsterfamily 5h ago. • NTA. Your child's health is more important than your mom's feelings. ↑ 748 Reply
    via hamsterfamily
  • 07
    CakePhool • • 5h ago Edited 4h ago NTA. Instead of saying cold sore, use the correct term, Mum I dont want you to kiss the baby when you have herpes simplex flair up, it contagious. Most people understand herpes is bad but most people dont understand that is what cold sore is. 151 Reply
    via cakephool
  • 08
    • Healthy_Fennel5626 5h ago NTA. Can't see why protecting your newborn could be wrong, and you weren't too or inconsiderate either. 420 Reply
    via Healthy_Fennel5626
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    • Sorry-Analysis8628 5h ago. Nta. Even without the cold sore, no one aside from the parents should be kissing a 3 month old. With a cold sore that is absolutely insane. My daughter is six, and I wouldn't let her anywhere near anyone with a cold sore. Your mom's reaction is troubling. Be prepared for more of this kind of 230 from her. Reply
    via Sorry-Analysis8628
  • 10
    _palantir_ 5h ago · Edited 5h ago HSV can kill a baby. Now you know how they feel. They will kiss your baby if they have the chance. Even if they weren't going to, they will now, because you told them not to and they think you're being unreasonable and , or to "prove" to you it's not a big deal. I'd keep that baby within my sight. 223 Reply
    via _palantir_
  • 11
    Feisty_Apartment_153 • 5h ago NTA. "Mom, please don't give my newborn herpes" ↑ 98 ⇓ Reply
    via Feisty_Apartment_153
  • 12
    Naomixbby 5h ago • NTA. It's your responsibility as a parent to ensure your child's safety and well-being. Your mother should have understood and respected your request, even if she was initially upset + 40 Reply
    via Naomixbby
  • 13
    • CAgirl17 5h ago NTA, and I'm sorry, but I find it incredibly selfish that your mom would even need to be reminded of this. There's been cases where babies have died due to contracting HSV from being kissed on the head. I get cold sores myself from time to time and I am well aware that I should not be kissing my daughter or my SO. If your parents cannot get this through their head then they certainly do not need to be around your baby. 40 Reply
    via CAgirl17
  • 14
    BlueGreen_1956 · 5h ago NTA The real question is why she had to be told in the first place. Anybody stupid enough to kiss a baby with a cold sore should not be allowed anywhere near that baby. Also, if she is not up to date on her Tdap, I would not even let her in the house. 43 Reply
    via BlueGreen_1956
  • 15
    princesstatted . 4h ago NTA I get cold sores because someone kissed me when I was a baby. I'm MILITANT about not touching my face anything I eat or drink doesn't get touched by my husband or kids. No sharing pillows or anything that touches my face while I have a cold sore. I also take valtrex to control the virus the second I feel the tingle. I've been with my husband 7 years with no spread. As far as I'm aware nobody has picked up coldsores from me. The request to not put her sore directly on
    via princesstatted
  • 16
    DaisyKatiee 5h ago NTA. • Your priority is the health and safety of your infant, and setting firm boundaries is part of that responsibility. Neonatal herpes can have serious complications, and it's better to err on the side of caution than to risk your child's wellbeing. It's unfortunate that your mother took offense, but any loving. grandparent should want what's best for their grandchild, which includes adhering to their parents' decisions regarding health precautions. You did what was necessa
    via DaisyKatiee
  • 17
    Tishers 5h ago NTA • If you mom has chronic cold sores it is likely some sort of persistent herpies- simplex virus. It would spread to your child almost 100% of the time. She seems to not care about her health or how her diseases communicate to other people. I would be very careful to not let grandma around my child. 21 Reply
    via Tishers
  • 18
    pibble-momma • 5h ago As someone who now has cold sores all the time as an adult, I wished more people would have kept their germs to themselves. It's preventable. 19 Reply
    via pibble-momma
  • 19
    DaniCapsFan • 5h ago You are being a good parent by putting the well-being of your child over your parents' feelings. Even if you don't have cold sores, kissing infants is a bad idea. You asked politely that they not kiss the baby. Their hurt feelings are not your problem. NTA 15 Reply
    via DaniCapsFan
  • 20
    MegSays001 • 5h ago Please, please, please don't let them convince you that you are/were wrong. As someone who had cold sores a lot as a kid and no doubt got the virus from a relative, please protect your child. Herpes simplex 1 may be "common" but the virus can be prevented if people were JUST MORE CAREFUL. How selfish of your parents; how utterly selfish and I can't fathom being so cavalier about it.
    via MegSays001
  • 21
    I, thankfully and knock on wood, haven't had an outbreak in years but if I have a cold sore, at any stage, I am so cautious. No sharing food or utensils, no kissing or physical contact around my face. Your mom should be ashamed and tell her Meg from the internets says DO BETTER!! NTA 13 Reply
    via MegSays001

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