Man Accuses Brother of Being a ‘Deadbeat Uncle,’ Tension Arises Between His Wife and Mother After Mother Takes Brother's Side

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 23 hr. ago Glittering-Fail-9100 AITA for blaming my husband after his comments caused his older brother to cut off our kids from receiving gifts?
  • 02
    I (25F) am married to my husband (26M), and we have two kids, ages 3 and 5. My husband's older brother (29M) is very successful and financially well-off but has always been distant. He rarely. attends family events like Christmas or birthdays, but he sends extravagant gifts for our kids and his other nieces and nephews.
  • 03
    Whenever I've met him, he's always been a big man with a serious demeanor. He's made it clear he doesn't like kids, which has been hurtful, but he still shows some care through his gifts. My mother-in-law has always favored him, defending him even though he's not involved with the family.
  • 04
    A couple of weeks ago, at a family dinner at my mother-in-law's house, my husband, clearly frustrated, made a comment about his brother being a "deadbeat uncle" who thinks he can buy everyone off with expensive gifts instead of actually being present. He said this in front of everyone, including his mom and dad.
  • 05
    My mother-in-law immediately defended her son, saying he doesn't like kids and shouldn't be judged for it. My father-in-law stayed neutral. Later, my mother- in-law told my brother-in-law what my husband said. Furious, my brother-in-law decided to stop sending gifts to our kids if we don't appreciate his gestures.
  • 06
    Now, our kids are the only ones not receiving anything from him, while their cousins still get lavish presents. It's heartbreaking to see their confusion and hurt. My husband feels guilty but still thinks his brother is overreacting. My mother-in-law is fully defending my brother-in-law, saying he's right to cut us off due to my husband's ingratitude.
  • 07
    I confronted my husband about this, telling him how selfish and thoughtless his comments were. I explained that his outburst has hurt our children and left them feeling excluded. He was defensive at first but eventually admitted he didn't realize the full impact of his words.
  • 08
    I'm still really upset. I never had an issue with how his brother chose to show his affection, and now, because of my husband's outburst, our kids are missing out and feeling left out. AITA?
  • 09
    celticmusebooks • 18h ago So it's been a couple of weeks...what "gift giving" occasions have happened since there where the cousins got gifts but your kids didn't?
  • 10
    If this is a true story what does your husband do for his niblings--be specific. Do you and your husband shower the niblings with lavish gifts?
  • 11
    Pretzelmamma • 20h ago He's made it clear he doesn't like kids, which has been hurtful Why is it hurtful that he doesn't like children? That's his preference, not a judgement on you. Just
  • 12
    because you like kids doesn't mean everyone has to. instead of actually being present Hahah he's the uncle not the parent. Just because you chose to have kids doesn't mean everyone else has be
  • 13
    lives. Expecting someone you know doesn't like kids to regularly interact with your kids is very very entitled. NTA. Your husband was ungrateful and entitled and he needs to apologise to his brother without expecting anything in return.
  • 14
    Sleep Flower80 • 19h ago Honestly, I think you're both Why is it hurtful that he doesn't like kids? No one is obligated to like or want kids. You don't even give a about how what your husband said might have made his brother feel.
  • 15
    All you care about is presents. Speaking of, your kids aren't entitled to presents from anyone, and that includes family. You're both entitled, rude You're the parents. Buy your own lavish presents if it hurts you so much.
  • 16
    cthulularoo 23h ago They're just gifts. Just get over it. No one is owed presents from people.
  • 17
    The more important issue is how much of an your husband is. Why did he feel the need to insult his brother who is just living his life? Sounds like he's jealous of his brother.
  • 18
    Appropriate Shir... 18h ago Deadbeat uncle isn't a thing. Your siblings are not required to be around your children. You made them, not your siblings. This is absolutely ridiculous. Not everyone has to like your kids. You're nta for blaming your husband. But honestly,
  • 19
    your kids aren't entitled to gifts from anyone. Your BIL doesn't really like kids and still sent extravagant gifts for so long. Your husband seems really entitled. And of course your MIL defended her son. He was being talked for literally no reason!
  • 20
    DotObjective2153 18h ago This only happened a couple weeks ago...... yet the cousins. are still receiving gifts and your kids are not? How have they had a chance to realise in just a couple of week?

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