Husband Refuses to be Engaged and Present With His Wife and Kids, Family Dispute Unravels When He Misses Daughter’s Art Fair to Play Video Games

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 6 mo. ago Galaxy_Gallows AITAH for telling my husband to not be surprised and wonder what happened when he loses me and our kids?
  • 02
    My (32F) husband (30M) have been together for 10 years. We have 2 children, 8(f) (ours) and 11(m) (mine from a previous relationship). He's never been super active in our kids lives but he has always shown up when it counts.
  • 03
    This last few weeks he has started being more distant. He has been playing video games on his computer more often, like the time he gets home from work until 1 am most days.
  • 04
    We had a weekend of parades and events in town that the kids and I wanted to go to. He says the last parade (on Sunday) was the one he thought we were planning to go to. So we skipped all the others and planned to all go to that one. Sunday rolls around. About 2 hours before we have to leave he turns on his
  • 05
    computer saying he needs to do something "real quick." 45 minutes before the parade starts we are getting ready to leave. This is when he decides he is going to just stay home.
  • 06
    The kids and I went and had a great time together, and got lots of beads, toys, candy, and other things thrown out to the crowd. The kids didn't seem to show they had any care that it was just the 3 of us.
  • 07
    That following week, he wanted to start a server to be able to have for him and others to play on. It cost $80 to get started. I got paid in 3 days, and told him he could wait until then to pay for it, but that I wasn't taking money out of our savings to do so. He turns around and calls his mom to borrow the money. When I
  • 08
    found out about it 2 days later and asked where he got the money, he told me. My MIL and I have a somewhat strained relationship, and money has always been an issue. My husband knows how I feel about this. I told him it would have been nice if he would have talked to me about it before cashing her
  • 09
    and borrowing it from her. He tries to tell me he "thought" he did, then smirks because he knows for a fact he never did. He was trying to make me second guess myself. This was also on valentines day. Neither the kids nor I received anything from him for it. But his server got paid. But I didn't make a big deal about it and just wanted to move on.
  • 10
    That following weekend our daughter had an art fair showcasing her artwork. She was super excited about going and is seeing what she did. He was up until 3-4 am the night before on his game, once again. The next morning he refused to wake up the 4 times I tried. He finally woke up and started moving around as we were about to have to leave.
  • 11
    He decided at that point that he was just going to stay home. My daughter didn't seem to mind, but my heart just broke. So the kids and I left without him.
  • 12
    We go to her art fair and saw that she painted a beautiful picture. I was very proud of her and she was so excited to see it up on the wall as well. We went to the activity room. I colored a picture and her and my son colored and and made other crafts. My daughter then says to me, "I'm kind of glad dad didn't come.
  • 13
    You're more fun when he's not around. And he's always so grumpy and rushes us." As if my heart wasn't hurt enough, it took all I had to not cry. Afterwards we went and got donuts from our favorite place down town to celebrate her accomplishment. Something my husband wouldn't have been happy to do or done.
  • 14
    We get home after about 3 hours and there he is, on his computer. He can tell I'm upset and asked what's wrong. I told him it was sad that he couldn't take 3 hours out of his day to make his daughter feel special and show up for her and that when he wakes up one day alone, and the kids go no contact with him, to
  • 15
    not be so surprised and that he only has himself to blame. He laughed and said whatever and went back to playing. So AITAH?
  • 16
    • notyoureffingpr... 6mo ago. It seems that you and the kids are better without him, what is he bringing to the table?
  • 17
    FunStorm6487 • 6mo ago Why do you want to live like this?
  • 18
    ValleygirlNorCal • 6mo ago So when are you going to start believing him? He's already checked out of this marriage. What about him are you expecting to miraculously change? Get your financial records in order and see an attorney.
  • 19
    Make sure the divorce decree/shared parenting agreement requires both of you to support your children through undergrad, and make sure you both have equal time with the kids until they graduate from high school. He is taking advantage of you while having zero commitment for
  • 20
    the family you both have created.
  • 21
    RJack151.6mo ago NTA, and you are right. When the kids get older, they will realize that he never spends any time with them. They will start cutting him out of their lives and eventually cut contact with him.
  • 22
    The only question will be: Will you still be with him when it happens?
  • 23
    BlackSea5. 6mo ago NTA-I spent 14 years with someone like that, I've been so happy and thriving the 2 years without him dragging me down. Please don't waste too much more time.

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