Woman's Husband Openly Prioritizes His Female Best Friend Over Her and Doubles Down On His Devotion, Saying He ‘Would choose her every time’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Aug 25, 2024 10:00 PM EDT

"I just had a very painful, invasive procedure done and I'm in pain. He said if she called him right now and said she needed him, he'd drop everything to go help her."

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement

  • Relationships can be tricky. Every little thing looks complicated when you put it under a microscope. The larger issues won't need a microscope to reveal how complicated your relationship matters truly are.

    Mr. Right would always ensure that you know you're a main priority in his life. When you're faced with another woman who takes up a large part of your partner's heart, it's completely understandable to get upset by always feeling like you're second best. The woman in this story is facing a similar issue, but her husband doesn't even try to cover up the fact that his girl best friend does, in fact, take precedence over the woman he's married to.

    At the beginning of their relationship, the OP knew that her partner had a girl best friend who helped him through a previous divorce, mental health struggles, and much more. He told OP that she will always be a priority. OP thought that as their relationship blossomed, the nature of her partner's friendship with his girl best friend would shift, as most friendships do. The best friend, Molly, has no interest in befriending OP and even goes so far as to brag about how OP's partner would drop everything if it meant to comfort her. The husband continues to reiterate the best friend's special place in his life.

    Scroll below to get the whole story, and additionally, an update from the OP after having a conversation with her husband regarding her qualms with the relationship.

  • 01
    AIO regarding my husband's relationship with his friend?
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 02
    My husband and I have been together 9 years. He got divorced a year before he met me and he says it's the darkest time he's ever gone through.
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 03
    He has a friend, Molly, who helped him through that time. When we first got together, he told me about Molly, introduced me to her, and impressed upon me how important she is to him. He says he was literally s dal and she helped him out of it. He says she was going through a
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 04
    dark time as well and they helped each other. He has always said to me that if he were forced to choose between me and her, he would choose her. Every time. When we first got together, this didn't really bother me. We barely knew each other, it was a new relationship, and I wasn't about to
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 05
    go around dictating who his friends were or anything like that. Over the years, I've tried to be friends with Molly. My husband has encouraged us to be friends. He says he has nothing to hide and wants us all to be friends. I believe him. But Molly doesn't seem to be interested in the prospect. She just doesn't seem
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 06
    interested, which is fine, I don't really care. What does bother me is makes these little jab like remarks to me about my husband. She says things about how great it is to know that if she called him, he would drop everything and everyone to be by her side. That's it's nice to have a friend that puts her above
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 07
    everyone else in his life. She says these things with a smirk and walks up to my husband and puts her arms around him or strokes his arm all while looking at me to gauge my reaction. I haven't told him about any of this because I'm honestly afraid of what he'd think. Would he think I was trying to get between
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 08
    him and Molly? That I was trying to cause a rift in their friendship? I don't want the drama and we don't hang out with her often so I figured I could just let it go. As of now, Molly has been pretty much out of our lives for months now. She hasn't texted my husband. She hasn't contacted him
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 09
    through social media. She hasn't been active on any SM platforms. She has a busy life with 2 kids so I just assumed that she was just caught up in that. My husband doesn't seem too worried about it either. He says she's always been a flakey friend and that he'd given up on expecting her to be consistent. He says he's "written her off" as a friend but she'll always been important to him because of what she did for him.
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 10
    Here's the problem. I have been with this dude for nearly a decade now. We have been through c er together. Through health scares. Through surgeries. Ectopic pregnancies. Betrayal of other friends and family members. Dh of loved ones. Poverty. Prosperity. You name something and we've probably dealt with it. I take care of him when he's sick and he
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 11
    does the same for me. I have given this man everything that I had to give and then some. And I know he's done the same. He is my best friend and I trust him more than anyone else. But I feel like I'm living in Molly's shadow. He constantly reminds me of what she did for him. He still seems to prioritize her over me.
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 12
    He says it's not a contest and I shouldn't compare myself to her. I agree with this. But then he makes comments about how she's the most important woman in his life and always will be. Really? Because she hasn't contacted you in months and a week ago I was cleaning up his vomit from when he had food
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 13
    poisoning. It just feels really to live in someone else's shadow and feeling like I will never measure up. I feel like if you marry someone, you should be prioritizing them above. anyone else except for yourself and your children.
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 14
    When I try to talk about it, he gets defensive. He says Molly and I have different roles in his life and different priorities. He doesn't deny that he wouldn't go running to her side if she called him. I just had a very painful, invasive procedure done and I'm
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 15
    in pain. He said if she called him right now and said she needed him, he'd drop everything to go help her. Even if I'm recovering from surgery, even if I need him too. I feel like I'm just a placeholder for her. Like he'd be
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 16
    with her if he had the chance (he denies this). Why marry me if he didn't want an actual marriage? Because this doesn't feel like a real marriage, playing 2nd fiddle to another woman. So am I wrong here? Am I overreacting? I honestly don't know.
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 17
    UPDATE So I'm going to answer some questions I see popping up repeatedly in the comments.
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 18
    After talking to my therapist, she helped me realize the Molly thing isn't healthy. It's been difficult for me to come to terms with this, idk why.
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 19
    Yes, he definitely told me how things were before we even got together. Yes, I should've known, I should've ended things right then and there. I know that. I accept responsibility for that and I beat myself up about it daily. Maybe some part of me thought that he'd change his
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 20
    priorities once we got married or something. I was young and incredibly stupid. I'm not surprised this is all happening. But I honestly didn't really see it as the red flag it is. I was starting to feel crazy about the whole thing and conflicted because he kept insisting
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 21
    it's normal and platonic. So I posted here for validation? Advice? Support? Idk. I just wanted to find out if I was the crazy one. . Last night I told my husband what Molly said to me and what how she touches him. He seemed genuinely surprised. He had never been within earshot of
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 22
    anything she said. He says he didn't realize she was that kind of person. He has her up on a pedestal, it's like she's perfect and can do no wrong. Despite the fact that he hasn't heard from her in months. I'm pretty positive they aren't in contact
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 23
    anymore because he keeps complaining about it and worrying about her. Anyway, he says he doesn't really know what to do with this info as it happened so long. ago and they're not even in contact anymore. I asked him how he'd feel if I
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 24
    prioritized another man - or even another friend - over him? He says he doesn't care about other people and what they do or don't do or what I do for them. He doesn't compare himself to them. As for Molly being brought up in conversation- a while back we had a huge fight. I made it known that I wasn't
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 25
    happy with the whole Molly situation and was feeling resentful and insecure in our relationship. He said Molly and I are the most important people in his life. He made it sound like her and I were equally important? And since then I've been so confused because he's always said and acted like
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 26
    she's more important than I am. My husband and I are trying to be more open with each other regarding our feelings/emotions. He knows she is a major insecurity of mine and he brings her up a lot when he thinks he's trying to make a point. The conversation inevitably ends up with me questioning his
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 27
    priorities and him declaring she's at the top. Never mind the fact that she's a friend. That she's flakey. That he hasn't heard from her for months. He excuses her and says that's how she's always been, it's who she is and she's that way with everyone. He's come to
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 28
    accept it like I should accept their relationship. Except I live in constant fear that she's going to come back around and need him for whatever reason and I'll lose him.
    via TheDingoAteMyJawa
  • 29
    • Forward_Most_1933 14h ago Not overreacting. He's telling you not to worry but he's also telling you, his wife for the last decade, that Molly more important than you are. Does he just expect you to be okay with that? Is he okay if you treated him similarly? You must be a very patient person to put up with this treatment for so long. I'd have a 'come to Jesus' talk with him because if he can't be your person who you can rely on in your time of need bc he is tending to Molly, you need to find. s
    via Forward_Most_1933

Tags

toxic-boyfriend Dating-Relationships boyfriend relationship advice marriage emotional cheating drama best friends lies emotional relationship-drama reddit story marriage-drama relationships sneaky wedding relationship feud infidelity Reddit hiding toxic relationship bestie
Scroll Down For The Next Article