Husband admonished for telling wife and new mother of 3-month-old baby that she must return to work: 'She needs to work full-time'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Sep 10, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

It's surprising and disappointing sometimes the disrespect and disregard people have for their spouses when relationships are supposed to be built on respect and support. We're talking about someone who is supposed to be your other half, so it makes sense that responsibilities be split and handled as if that were the case—where capable and able. We're all only human, and our lives and their requirements are changing all the time, so we're not going to get it right all the time, but that's where the toing and froing of communication and adjustment comes into play. 

This husband and father took to this online community to see whether or not he was in the wrong for telling his wife that she needed to return to work. She had been staying at home with their 3-month-old baby boy since his birth, and the couple was quickly running into financial trouble without her income. The couple was planning on moving in with her parents, who would be able to provide them with financial support as well as child care when the young mother (the poster's wife) eventually returned to work. The husband felt, instead, that she should be returning to work and that they should remain in their own home. 

Readers were quick to point out how it appeared from his post that the husband was not even attempting to understand his wife's position, noting how soon, three months from giving birth, it would typically be for a woman to return to work. Commenters continued to admonish his behavior and attitude before he eventually deleted his post from the community.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Read for yourself and share your thoughts in the comments. 

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10401670656
    via Jenna Norman

    The above image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for telling my wife she has to work more? Am I the for telling my wife she can't be a stay at home mom or work just part time in order for us to not move in with her parents because we can't afford a mortgage and our standard cost of living I'm working 40 hours a week plus OT when I can while going to night school she says she doesn't want to work because she doesn't want someone else to watch our child and
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 03
    that she wants to be with him. If this is where she wants to hold strong I'm contemplating divorce am I the ? PS my son is 3 months old and her parents are retired and her mother has offered to watch him while we're at work
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 04
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a e: ○e: I told my wife she needs to work full time in order for us not to move in with her parents. I may look like the able becuase I'm expecting too much of a new mother
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 05
    • Dazzling-Disaster-28 21 hr. ago YTA. This baby is about 8 weeks old if previous posts are right. Weeks. She is not even fully recovered from pregnancy and child birth. You should have planned this out and come up with a plan well before she gave birth. But it is entirely reasonable for her to not be ready to return to work so early. Also quality infant care is certainly expensive, well over $2000 a month in my area. Would she actually be bringing in a positive cash flow after commuting and ext
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 06
    tralfamadoriest 1 day ago . edited 1 day ago • There's not enough info here. How old is your kid? How much is daycare? How much income can your wife make (as in, more than daycare costs)? Also, divorce is expensive. If this is your only issue (a big one, I know), you need to have a lot more conversations first.
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 07
    Edit: a lot of people don't seem to understand how expensive daycare can be. Infant daycare can be as much or more than a mortgage each month. Some people end up as STAHPS because their income doesn't cover daycare + enough to make sense. It's not always some luxury. Edit 2: baby is 3 months and your go-to is divorce?? Come on, man. YTA if only for that.
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 08
    OGBrewSwayne 21 hr. ago . edited 20 hr. ago Need info: How old is your kid? Edit: Based on OP's other post, his kid is 2-3 months old. On top of that, he's entering active duty military, where additional housing and sustenance allowances will be provided, in addition to base salary. Bases also have free/low cost childcare services available. Source: am USMC retired. OP sounds like marriage and parenthood are hitting him in the face with a big time reality check and he's looking for a way out. YT
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 09
    LHJackiO 21 hr. ago YTA-. I like how you don't mention that the "child" is literally a baby. 2 months old correct? Financially makes more sense to move back with the parents because clearly you guys are drowning. Her working vs daycare cost should put you in the positive. If it doesn't than what's the point? You expecting her parents to watch the BABY for free?
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 10
    Best Tumbleweed6931 20 hr. ago You're considering divorce because your three months postpartum wife isn't ready to leave your three month old baby and go back to work? YTA.
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 11
    • Reasonable Rutabaga89 1 day ago Yta, 12 weeks postpartum I am SHOCKED she's working part time. Are you so self centered you don't even realize what she's been through mentally and physically to bring your child into the world. Then with every bone in her body telling her to protect and be with that baby at its most vulnerable you tell her to leave it. Baby is safest with mom, she has instincts no grandparent will have at this stage. Did you know her heartbeat
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 12
    still regulates the babies heartbeat? She is still the babies safe place and you want to just take that away. Aside from all that you will pay more for for daycare. Move in with her parents, reset, figure out how to live within your means, think about someone besides yourself
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 13
    Help24-7 1 day ago YTA The baby is 2 month old?? And you are military??? Complete on your part. Your job covers housing so don't even start. You decide to not re-enlist... fine... You need to come up with a money solution by Oct 25. Instead of trying to force your post partum wife into working and NOT letting her move back in with her family
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723
  • 14
    for support....because YOU don't want to??? Come on then YOU need to provide the money to support the lifestyle YOU want for your family then. I don't know what other details your are leaving out..but you already painted yourself in a corner by not being upfront about details.
    via u/Zestyclose_Tear9723

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

childcare Babies aita infant kids moms parenting dad pregnant reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
Scroll Down For The Next Article