'Don't sing Happy Birthday to me: Steamrolling employee intentionally embarrasses her coworker, gets put in her place and publicly shamed by HR

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Sep 7, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

We all have that ONE coworker… you know, the one who likes to push everyone's buttons, gets on everyone's nerves and seems like they intentionally dance on a razor's edge over HR technicalities. They're entitled as heckin' heck and it's as if their agenda and opinions are the only ones that matter in the workplace. I like to call this type of person an 'extroverted steamroller'. 

Obnoxious and nosy, the extrovert steamroller types are hard to rein in, especially if you're the kind of worker who likes to keep a low profile. The best thing you can do with those kinds of people is lay low, set your boundaries, and wait for a slip-up big enough to take them down–which is exactly what the enraged Redditor in this next story did. 

If you're not a birthday person, you're not a birthday person. No amount of singing, cake, or candles will ever change your opinion over birthdays, and while every year 'your day' rolls along, some people just like to be kept well-alone on their day–it's personal, get lost. But when u/ Bosuns_Punch's birthday came along in the workplace, he thought that he had successfully flown under the radar of his extroverted steamroller coworker, but he was sorely mistaken. 

Keep scrolling for the birthday song and public embarrassment that led to the demise of one of the most obnoxious coworkers, effectively quieting her need for attention and allowing an employee some well-deserved peace in the workplace. 

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  • 01
    "Boundaries please"
    via SolStock- Getty Images Signature via Canva
  • 02
    Please don't sing Happy Birthday to me when it's my birthday, please. i worked for a place that had a largish staff cafeteria. It was a good working environment.
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 03
    We posted calendars with (among other things) birthdays that month. When it was yours, someone would ring a bell and we'd sing Happy Birthday. I didn't mind, it was 2-3 times a month. I
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 04
    prefer not to receive the treatment, so i kept mine off of the public calendar. My (fellow GenX) work friend knew my birthday (same as her moms), and wished me a HBD at the table, making a joke about "At least you don't have to hear the Birthday song."
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 05
    Our bubbly, annoying co- worker (think Ensign Tilly from Star Trek) overheard the whole thing and was AgHaSt!! that i didn't tell anyone. She I had a very bad habit of getting in her co-workers personal business (Yeah, I got stories), and just LOVED
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 06
    to be the bell ringer. She evedn did the -year young! until that got nipped in the bud. Anyways, I told her it wasn't for me. After too much back-and-forth, she said I was a 'grump' said "I'll ring it for you!", sprang up and
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 07
    marched to the bell. Halfway through the first line, I stood up and walked out the door. They ended up singing my name to an empty chair, everyone looking at her like -?
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 08
    She wondered aloud to everyone why I had left the room, and my friend snapped loudly," , he told you he didn't want this!!! You really need to learn to respect other people boundaries." HR heard
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 09
    about the incident (due to the ' insult'), and we were both questioned the following day. I lied and said i had bad memories associated with my BD, which is why i kept it private. I then repeated the entire incident, including the 'grump' insult.
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 10
    HR got nosy and pressed me to share my 'bad memories', so I doubled down, "No, I won't. There's a reason I kept it private. i didn't call anyone names, I simply walked out when this was done to me against my will. Now, not only
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 11
    do I look like a for walking out, I'm being questioned about personal matters that have nothing to do with the workplace. This conversation is over., and i'll be submitting a complaint with the COO (Chief of Ops)."
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 12
    A complaint was submitted, but i never talked to the COO. I got an email (with HR and the VP copied) apologising to me for the incident. A company-wide missive went out concerning respecting personal boundaries inn the
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 13
    workplace, along with some 'training'. At that meeting, they even took a vote to keep/toss the bell. Most everyone looked at me, and i voted to keep it, so it was kept. Tilly very rarely rang it again, though.
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 14
    She got an HR slapdown, and (because of this and some earlier incidents) her popularity in the workplace took a nosedive. There was a company catchphrase
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 15
    'boundaries please' that went around for a month, and she knew it was her that had brought it on. Best of all, she never talked to me unless it was work-related again.
    via Bosuns_Punch
  • 16
    chohmi-pisaachukma • 1d ago I... messy in the moment but that sounds like it worked out pretty well. I love when people like that get put in their place instead of being enabled to continue to steamroll peoples boundaries.
    via chohmi-pisaachukma
  • 17
    NavyShooter_NS • 1d ago Nicely done. HR being forced to be on your side is a good thing.
    via NavyShooter_NS
  • 18
    purgruv 1d ago I've never worked on my birthday as I always take a holiday to avoid it.
    via purgruv
  • 19
    OTFYogiGirl 1d ago Are we related? I am not a "birthday" person. Yes, I have some PTSD surrounding my birthday in addition to I hate being the center of attention. So many people have a hard time with this and refuse to acknowledge my very vocal wishes/boundaries. I have said that I will get up and leave the building if anyone sings, breaks out a cake - any of it. Just NO, NO, NO.
    via OTFYogiGirl
  • 20
    IB4WTF 1d ago • I've been put on the spot with singing too many times. The worst? My younger sister's wedding, on my birthday, where I was called up in front of the entire reception to have the crowd sing. Ugh. Both of my sisters and Mom still have never figured out that I. DO. NOT. ENJOY. THAT.
    via IB4WTF
  • 21
    This year's birthday went so much better (at least at work). In a discussion with my supervisor and colleagues about birthdays, while VERY specifically not volunteering that tidbit of info, they never knew how much I appreciated the unintended anonymity that I was able to have that day. My wife ignored my birthday completely while fully aware, but that's an entirely different matter...
    via IB4WTF
  • 22
    measaqueen · 1d ago One of the first things I do during onboarding is ask HR to not let my birthday be known. I hate the forced office card and random people I usually avoid coming up to me.
    via measaqueen

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