Woman's Public Image Tarnished by Her Ex-Boyfriend's Vengeful Wife, Calling Her A Home Wrecker Online: 'I didn't know he was married'

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/ThrowRArumourmill • 17h AITAH for Snapping at my Boyfriend's Wife? So, I'm in a situation that's been making me feel like an absolute mess, and I can't tell if I'm the or not.
  • 02
    A few months ago, I met this guy. We clicked immediately, he was charming, fun, and seemed so into me. We started seeing each other, and everything was great... until it wasn't. A few months into our "relationship," I found out the guy I was dating was married. I was completely blindsided. He had hidden it so well, and I felt like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. I called it off immediately, but he kept trying to get back together.
  • 03
    When his wife found out, she completely blew up. I get it, she was hurt, and I wasn't thrilled to be in the middle of this drama either. But instead of confronting him or holding him accountable, she turned her rage on me. She started posting about me online, spreading lies, calling me a homewrecker, even though I had no idea he was married. People started sending me nasty messages, calling me names, all because of her.
  • 04
    The kicker? She ended up taking him back. I was more than happy to cut ties with him after finding out about his double life, but he kept trying to contact me, even after I blocked him. It's like they both wanted to make my life miserable, and I was completely done with both of them. Here's where things get messy. Last night, I went out to dinner with a few friends. We were having a good time until she walked in. She saw me, stormed over, and started berating me in front of everyone, going on ab
  • 05
    Finally, I snapped and said, "Maybe if you could satisfy your husband, he wouldn't have had to come running to me." Yeah, I know it was harsh, but I was tired of being blamed for his choices. She burst into tears and stormed out of the restaurant, leaving everyone staring at me. Now I feel like I went too far. I know she's hurt, and maybe I shouldn't have said something so cruel, but at the same time, I was done being her punching bag. My friends were kind of split on it; some said she deserved
  • 06
    So, AITA for what I said? EDIT: JUST TO ADD SOME MORE CONTEXT I had made it very clear to her from day one, that I had no idea he was married. I tried for long enough to convince her that I was also lied too, but she continued her smear campaign against me. Believing her husband's version of events over mine, so yes I could have reacted differently in the restaurant, but I was already tired of telling her that I knew nothing. 3,113 1,353
  • 07
    haveanotherpringle ⚫ 16h • NTA but you gave her fuel to further assert the narrative that you are indeed a homewrecker. Reply 4.7k
  • 08
    ImpassionateGods001 • 15h Agree, she said something a willing homewrecker would. She didn't do any favors to herself and made the wife look like the victim in front of everyone, giving her exactly what she wanted. ✩ 1.4k
  • 09
    RealnessInMadness • 14h Could've been handled better But I'm still livid this wife is putting it all on her and not her man. The fact her man was still trying to reach out to this woman... We've seen plenty of stories where the spouse and victim team up on the cheater. So for her to just fixate on the woman? That's delulu right there. ... 653
  • 10
    onetrickpony4u • 16h Should've just responded that you didn't know he was married and when you did, you dropped him. Reply 976
  • 11
    Annual Leading_7846 17h No. She is in for a whole world of hurt. You likey weren't his first and almost certainly won't be his last affair. Her problems are just starting. Move on with your life and get away from them. Don't let them make this your problem again. If you see her again maybe treat her kindly and really talk to her. She may be different if she knows the whole story. ← Reply 1k ↓
  • 12
    ThrowRArumourmill OP. 17h I'll be civil if she is, but I'm not going out of my way to comfort her if she continues the way she is 392
  • 13
    DuckyofDeath123_XI. 17h In future, a better response, and one fewer people could fault you for, might be something like "I didn't know he was married, and I dumped him when I found out. You married a liar and a cheater, but you're angry at the women he cheats with instead of at him? Leave me out of your mess."
  • 14
    It doesn't imply you knew, and it doesn't attack her for her marriage. It attacks her for exactly the behaviour she's showing that's wrong, and only for that. It also shows you're not the person at fault in the mess she's in. ← 725
  • 15
    CigarsAndFastCars • 16h NTA for defending yourself or refusing to put up with her outrage, but YTA for what you said. Here's a better response, "Stop. This isn't the place or the person to be attacking. I had no idea your cheating husband was married because he lied to and hid it from me, and I broke things off with him and blocked him the moment I found out. Deal with your lying and cheating husband yourself. Neither of you are my business, so back off and take your anger where it belongs. And
  • 16
    Its YourPal-AL • 10h This should be the top response. OP had the opportunity to respond like this, which would have been factual and valid, but instead they chose to make an assumption and turn it into an insult ← D B 8 3
  • 17
    Liaz Reddit 16h IM SORRY YOUR BFS WHAT NOW? ← Reply Ŵ 92 ♡
  • 18
    Away-Understanding34. 17h YTA but to yourself. You basically acted in public like the mistress that was proud of herself for being with a married man. Instead I think you should have yelled you didn't know and called her out for being spineless for taking her lying cheating snake of a husband back. You should have also suggested she take a closer look at his actions since you probably aren't the 1st and won't be the last. Reply 454
  • 19
    ThrowRArumourmill OP 17h In hindsight I wish I had thought of this, but she caught me off guard and I was angry at her for the way she was treating me 103
  • 20
    Highlander198116 • 15h The thing is, the zinger may have made YOU feel good in the moment. However, it didn't change how she was feeling. She already hates you and thinks you are a man stealing harlot. What your comment did, was justify her behavior in her eyes. She now thinks she was right all along about you. ← Ŷ 89 ↓

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