Why Am I Like This: 33 Relatable Posts About Not Being a Fully-Functional Member of Society

John Summers • Contributor

Sep 18, 2024 10:00 PM EDT

Here is my theory: right before I was born, there was a meeting of my entire generation where the creator of the universe sat everyone down and explained in very simple terms how to manage your life. I have no idea what I was doing at the time, but I know I missed that meeting. Everyone got the illustrated guide filled with pro-tips about how to manage life, and I was probably off somewhere (along with some of you guys) doing something less constructive.

And now I'm just going along day by day, trying to fake being a fully functioning member of society, while in reality, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Anyway, if someone out there wants to maybe send me a PDF of that guide you got, I will happily accept it but then will probably forget to read it or somehow get locked out of my mailbox and forever stay in this state of dysfunction.

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$Me explaining why I haven't done any of the house chores TRUE HANL OF THE EARTH PIZZAGATE (QANON! JFK BERMUDA DE + EPSTEIN INT ADRENO CHROME! ކ DENVER \ I NAZI NWO ↑ UFOS REPTILIAN? | ASI AREA DEEP STATE ILLUMINATI ELVIS IS ALIVE! TREES ARE SENTIENT ON LANDING ↑$

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