Parents Demand Daughter Pay Her Own Way on Family Vacation While Covering Son's Expenses, Sparking Bitter Argument About Favoritism

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Sep 23, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Your primary focus should always be your family. Having stated that how would you respond if you discovered overt favoritism in the family? 
The sister who is frustrated is described in the story below. The original poster (OP) was helping her parents book a trip for the whole family. The parents voiced concerns about how they might not have enough money to pay for each sibling. Therefore, out of kindness, OP proposed that each child cover their own expenses, relieving her parents of the financial load.

To her surprise, however, rather than each sibling paying their own share of the bills, the parents insisted that she pay for herself and they take care of the rest of the family.  OP shared her story on Reddit after feeling offended by the blatant unfairness. So, in order to find out what happens next, make sure to read the story down below! After you're done, don't forget to look over these 28 relatable memes to get your workday started and enjoy your morning coffee!

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  • 01
    HB 85455455C 82 100 LF3 KL 50976407 B I
    via AlexSava
  • 02
    I'm ruining the family vacation because my parents won't pay for me.
    via u/thethrowqueen
  • 03
    I have been trying to help my mom over the past few months plan a family trip. Throughout this process, my mom told me that she and my dad probably couldn't afford to pay for all of us (mom, dad, brother, me and bf) to go, which is fine. I told her she shouldn't be expected to do that since we're all adults with adult jobs and could pay for our flight and share of the lodging. Obviously she was receptive to that.
    via u/thethrowqueen
  • 04
    So fast forward to today and we're about to book the flights and travel, so we're on the phone talking through how much everyone's flight was going to be. Since I hadn't talked to my brother personally, I asked if he was cool with how much the tickets were. Her demeanor immediately changed to nervous laughter, and she said that he didn't offer to pay and so they were going to pay for him, and "just because we offered doesn't mean he has to pay". For additional context my brother is a civil engin
    via u/thethrowqueen
  • 05
    If I'm being honest, I sort of suspected this, so I wasn't super surprised. However, I played it cool and said "oh, didn't realize he wasn't going to be paying for his portion". Predictably my mom AND dad launched into this defensive ramble "Well it's your fault you offered! We were going to pay for you until you offered" (a lie). They also said I was acting entitled to their money, which is a recurring
    via u/thethrowqueen
  • 06
    bit for them anytime money comes up. There's a lot of nuance to that, but suffice it to say they've always been very hard and financially strict on me, but very easy on and spoil the out of my brother. Anyway, they know this bit me off, and they succeeded yet again. But this time I just felt something snap in me, so I just I told them if that's the way they feel about it, then maybe we should
    via u/thethrowqueen
  • 07
    just call it off, and I don't want to be around people who think I'm just trying to mooch off them. Then I just hung up. Now they're texting that I'm "selfishly ruining the vacation because I'm jealous" and are calling me "entitled". Maybe I am entitled. Maybe my parents just like my brother better. Idk which is more true, but I'm a little glad I'm ruining the family vacation.
    via u/thethrowqueen
  • 08
    Steelergr|2310 Let them go have their vacation. You and your BF spend the money you would have and take a vacation you both will enjoy.
    via u/Steelergrl2310
  • 09
    kanafra Good for you. Maybe go on a vacation with your bf.
    via u/kanafra
  • 10
    Calico Hippo You're going to feel so much better when you and your bf take a nice relaxing vacation that doesn't come with a side of guilt trip. Their trip isn't ruined, if they choose to do something different because you don't go, that's on them. Not you. They wanna continue to play favorites with their adult kids, that's fine. Doesn't mean you have to accept it or be a party to it anymore.
    via u/CalicoHippo
  • 11
    Vivid-Farm6291 Well done for standing up for yourself. I would continue to ignore their guilt and go on a holiday that is about you and bf with no arguments. But remember they spoil your brother but when the chips are down the chances of your brother taking time to help them out are slim. YOU and you alone will be expected to step up and sacrifice for them.
    via u/Vivid-Farm6291
  • 12
    Maybe now is a good time to think about what YOU want for this relationship going forward. It is absolutely alright to take massive steps backwards and not engage if that is what YOU want. Never let anyone guilt you into anything that you don't want to do.
    via u/Vivid-Farm6291
  • 13
    soappube If it were me I'd just say "oh well this is getting too complicated and weird. Have a good time!" and then take your own vacation to somewhere better.
    via u/soappube
  • 14
    JonesinforJonesey Tell them to have fun with their golden boy and you'll have fun somewhere else with yours. I hope they like the nursing home he picks out for them too when the time comes.
    via u/JonesinforJonesey
  • 15
    solarpropietor "You are correct, I am not entitled to your money, but you're not entitled to my time." And ghost them for lien 6 months to a year. NC for a full f g year.
    via u/solarpropietor
  • 16
    Dear_Parsnip_6802 Let them organise their own vacation. Since you're paying, go on a nice romantic trip with your boyfriend. You were not asking your parents to pay for you. You were asking them not to pay for your brother. Big difference.
    via u/Dear_Parsnip_6802
  • 17
    Odd Welcome7940 If they have family vacation money for everyone but you then perhaps you aren't family. So now you can go on your own vacation with a man who lives you. Tell them that then hang up. Then block them.
    via u/Odd_Welcome7940
  • 18
    Ok-Many4262 You are not entitled and I'd send them a reply. I'm not ruining anything: your failure to even pretend that you don't coddle Brother when he has an excellent salary and knows he can get away with not covering his costs is ruining this trip. I can't explain this pattern any other way. I'm the one who upholds the principle
    via u/Ok-Many4262
  • 19
    that adult children should not expect their parents to pay for them, yet, I guess because you didn't teach him to be independent early enough in life, when he mooches by omission, I'm the one who gets called a moocher when I finally call you out on the inconsistency and unfairness of your decision to cover his but not my expenses. Is it because you are too scared to stand up to your son and start
    via u/Ok-Many4262
  • 20
    expecting him to be an adult? To be honest, I'd prefer it to be that, because, as your daughter it feels like you have always and will always favour him over me. I no longer want to come on this holiday. It's not about who's paying for what. I don't want
    via u/Ok-Many4262
  • 21
    to come because I'm too angry and hurt to enjoy a vacation- and there are better ways to spend the money, and people who treat me better than you guys. Have a great time. With your favourite child.
    via u/Ok-Many4262
  • 22
    Over-Marionberry-686 OK, here's your new phrase whenever your parents ask you to do something. Ready? "I'm sorry that doesn't work for me". That's it no further clarity. They ask if you want to come over for dinner the answer is I'm sorry that doesn't work for me they ask why don't answer it's an amazingly annoying phrase that get your point across without giving a reason. I used it with my sperm donor for years before he finally caught on
    via u/Over-Marionberry-686

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Tags

family drama favortism brother sibling rivalry crazy things parents say siblings family feud parenting entitled family Reddit money Parenting Fail family vacation holidays entitled people vacation
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