36 Terrible Vintage Recipes That Are a Crime Against the Culinary Arts

Author image for John Summers
John Summers • Contributor
Sep 24, 2024 11:00 PM EDT

My mom was a really good cook. She would make us mouth-watering meals on a daily basis, and I was always excited when she called us to come and eat. But since I was growing up during the 80s, every now and then she would see a strange new recipe in the paper or in some weird cookbook and decide to make us things like "Chicken wings in cola" or "Tuna and olive pasta." We would collectively smile and eat quietly, trying not to hurt her feelings, but she could tell.

For some reason, the 70s and 80s were plagued by an endless stream of horrific recipes that no one should ever attempt to make, let alone consume. Every magazine, every cookbook, and every cooking show kept encouraging our moms to make weirder and weirder dishes, and we were the main victims of this strange trend.

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  • 01

    Frankfurter Pie

    Budget Best Bets 10 FRANKFURTER PIE Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
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  • 02

    Aspic Glazed Lamb Loaf

    Make-Ahead Main Dishes ASPIC-GLAZED LAMB LOAF MA1 Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
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  • 03

    Cuban Salad

    treats for wintry for wintry weeks. SENERAL FOODS CORPORATION Cuban Salad 1 package Lime Jell-O 2 cups hot water 1 tablespoon lemon juice 3 small bananas Cinnamon stick, 1 inch long Ripe bananas in tart, tangy Lime Jell-O, with just a hint of spice! Here's a salad the family will ask for often. It's thrifty and easy! Dissolve Jell-O in hot water; add cinnamon stick and lemon juice. Cool. Remove cinnamon stick and chill until slightly thickened. Cut bananas in 2-inch pieces, then in fourths lengt
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  • 04

    Spam and Banana Fritters

    HORMEL GOOD FOOD Quick skillet supper! SPAM'N'BANANA FRITTERS Luscious banana fritters, creamy and crisp-coated, team up with sizzling-brown slices of pure-pork SPAM. Slice.... ......1 whole SPAM Cut in lengthwise quarters......4 bananas (green-tipped) Dip bananas in thin fritter batter (1 beaten egg, c. milk, ½ tsp. melted fat mixed with 2 c. sift- ed flour, ½ tsp. salt and ½ tsp. baking powder.) Pan-fry in hot fat in skillet, with the SPAM slices, until brown. COLD OR HOT, SPAM HITS THE SPOT S
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  • 05

    Tuna Mold

    www SHAKE WELL Real Cool! See what delicious things happen when A.1. Sauce leads its flavor lessing to cold dishes! You can keep cool while you're making this attractive tuna mold-and you're sure to collect compliments when you serve it. In fact, A.1. Sauce is about the easiest possible way to add a flavor ourish any time... both when it's used as a table pour-on sauce and when it's an ingredient in cooking. Its herb-and-spice richness gives a special save everyone faves! TUNA FISH MOLD... easy
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  • 06

    Party Sandwich

    A 14 PARTY SANDWICH-Sandwich Fillings Copyright 1958 Ted Re, Inc. New York
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  • 07

    Mexican Shrimp Orange Salad

    Salads Hot and Cold /17 MEXICAN SHRIMP-ORANGE SALAD Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
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  • 08

    Frankfurter Spectacular

    Budget Best Bets FRANKFURTER SPECTACULAR 11 Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
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  • 09

    Frosted layered sandwich loaf

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  • 10

    Creamed Veggie-filled Pancakes with Canned Peach Garnish

    Cheezburger Image 10408109312
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  • 11

    Patio Platter

    KNOX KRAFT SAUCE LES Miracle Whip No.1 Unflavored GELATINE [Patio Platter] FRUIT PATIO PLATTER 2 envelopes Knox Unflavored Gelatine 1 cup cold water 1 tin (6 oz.) frozen lemonade concentrate 1 tin (14 oz.) fruit cocktail 1 cup Miracle Whip Salad Dressing Sprinkle Knox Gelatine on water in saucepan. Stir constantly over low heat, about 3 minutes, to dissolve gelatine. Remove from heat. Add un- thawed lemonade; stir until melted. Gradually blend fruit cocktail syrup in- to creamy-smooth Miracle Wh
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  • 12

    Leeks with Pear and Bean Puree

    Cheezburger Image 10408109824
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  • 13

    Igloo meatloaf

    Cheezburger Image 10408109056
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  • 14

    Hash filet mignon

    Hash filet mignon! New, elegant eating, this hash made from oven-roasted beef Here's a hash that's "Sanday dinner good". Because Mary Kitchen makes it the way you would fix a company dish. Choice fresh beef is oven-roasted to a crusty brown. This beef, with its savory pan juices, is blended Suggestion: alice chilled hash, circle with partially cooked Hormel Bacon strips. Bake until bacon is crisp (about 20 min, at 175) with firm white potatoes, subtle seasonings. Mary Kitchen Roast Beef Hash Mar
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  • 15

    Glazed Potato Salad

    Hellmann's helps you make the prettiest potato salad ever Party Potato Salad What a beautiful new way to serve potato salad. And the luscious glaze you make with Hellmann's keeps it fresh and moist to the last slice. That's real mayonnaise. Whole-egg Hellmann's. GLAZED POTATO SALAD Firmly pack 2 quarts of your favorite potato salad into a 9 x 5 x 3-inch loaf pan. Chill at least 2 hours. Unmold and glaze following this recipe: 1 envelope unflavored gelatin 1/2 cup cold chicken broth 1 cup MANN'S
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  • 16

    "Gourmet" Hot Dogs

    88 ALL-AMERICAN FAVORITES A Putting on the Dog By MAIDA HEATER Wedge cat Ty dog on schema served with a rich phy through, down to buts who of the way through the hot d through to the b Our through the beatdown Goiging routing in beki Our through in the b
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  • 17

    Ham Banana Rolls with Cheese Sauce

    with a fork. Serve hot as a vegetable. Four servings. IMPORTANT: When browning is desired, place the baked bananas under broiler heat about 1 to 2 minutes. HAM BANANA ROLLS With Cheese Sauce 4 thin slices boiled ham Prepared mustard 4 firm bananas 1½ tablespoons melted butter or margarine Cheese Sauce "Use all-yellow or slightly green-tipped bananas Spread each slice of ham lightly with mustard. Peel bananas. Wrap a slice of the prepared ham around each banana. Brush tips of bananas with butter
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  • 18

    Spam Upside Down Pie

    Festive! Fun to make! SPAM UPSIDE DOWN PIE SPAM UPSIDE DOWN PIE Line an Binck mold with Span slices and fill with baking powder biscuit dough (prepared or home mixed) well laced with tiny cubes of Spam Bake 40-45 min. at 425°F. Turn it out on a platter, fill center with a tart cheese sauce (or one made with tomato or horses)...and watch the family turn out and fill the table in a hurry? SPAM HORMEL GOOD FOODS COLD OR HOT... SPAM HITS THE SPOT! Spans registered trademark, it identifies meat produ
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  • 19

    Tuna & Jello Pie

    Cheezburger Image 10408112128
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  • 20

    German Pizza with Sausage and Sauerkraut

    GERMAN PIZZA No one has to tell you how great pizza tastes. Especially when you make it with Chef Boyardee the world's most popular pizza mix Just thinking about the freshly baked dough, the rich pizza sauce and tangy cheese is enough to make anyone hungry And you can vary Chef Boyardee Cheese Pizza Mix in so many ways Just make it according to directions and in the last five minutes of baking, vary the toppings, You can make German Pizza by adding sliced knockwurst and sauerkraut (rinsed and dr
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  • 21

    Spam ‘n’ Limas

    ah inspiring... SPAM 'N' LIMAS * SPAM 'N' LIMAS FROM THE NORMEL MENU FILES Make a Spanish sauce of canned tomatoes, chopped onions, green peppers and celery leaves with a little salt, sugar, land. Add to fresh or frozen precooked limas in casserole, partly bury 802.10 slices of Spam in top, garnish with pimiento squares and bake 25 minutes at 350° HORMEL GOOD FOODS SPAM COLD OR HOT SPAM HITS THE SPOT!
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  • 22

    Hamburger Onion Pie with Bisquick and Cottage Cheese

    A Cook-In Favorite New Swiss-Style Main Dish: Hamburger-Onion Pie with Bisquick and Cottage Cheese You'll wake up the family's "outdoor appetite" with this tender-crusted savory dish HAMBURGEROMON PE Hesti kod Betty Crocker Bisquick
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  • 23

    Ground Beef Grand Style

    PHILADELPHIA CREAM CHEF Ballard Oven Ready Biscuits GROUND BEEF GRAND STYLE Good eating! Easy fixing! GROUND BEEP GRAND STYLE wpdb and th Philph Brand Cream Ch It's the ning keh Get bath... in your grocer's dairy case
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  • 24

    Frozen Fruit Cheese Salad

    Salads salad dressings 2 Refrigerator trays FROZEN FRUIT CHEESE SALAD -12 servings 2 cups small curd cottage cheese, sieved 1 cup dairy sour cream 3 tablespoons confectioners sugar teaspoon salt 1 cup drained pineapple tidbits 1 cup diced orange I cup chopped, pitted, cooked prunes I large banana, sliced ½ cup sliced maraschino cherries ½ cup chopped blanched almonds Salad greens Creamy Pink Dressing" Blend cottage cheese lightly with sour cream, sugar, salt. pineapple, orange. prunes, banana, c
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  • 25

    Deviled Ham Whip

    Have the last word in a salad-deviled ham whip! Del Monte QUALITY It's marvelous served with peas with flavor range" Carly Chari SUGAR PEAS Tha Del Monte Peas -the brand you kepts for find
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  • 26

    Vegetable Rice Medley

    Cheezburger Image 10408113920
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  • 27

    Spam n macaroni loaf

    "Savory Symphony" SPAM MACARONI LOAF 'N' SPAM N 'N' MACARONI LOAF sts and angelina Capers of Spin slices and monitorin loaf pan. Bake in pon of water at 377% w firm. Some with heads insoms scented with your famill sauce tip billing with any und COLD OR HOT SPAM HITS THE SPOT! SPAM HORMEL GOOD FOODS
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  • 28

    Fruit Cocktail Eggnog Pie

    KNOX UNFLAVORED No. GELATINE KNOX THE GALA NEW HOLIDAY DESSERT Fruit Cocktail Eggnog Pie THIS is the recipe that can wind up your holiday meal with new festive glory. Knox Gelatine gives it cloud-light texture and soaring height. Knox gelatine commercially prepared eggs nelmand flavoring beked pie shell (directions on Crocier Hemogenised Pie Crust fruit cocktail thoroughly; me cup of the syrup, Stir gelatine syrup: place over boiling water stir until gelatine is dissolved. Remove from beat; stir
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  • 29

    FLUFFY MACKEREL PUDDING

    Convenience Fish FLUFFY MACKEREL PUDDING 7 Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
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  • 30

    Baked Tuna Ring

    BAKED TUNA RING Two 7-oz. cans tuna fish, drained and flaked 1 cup Quaker or Mother's Oats (quick or old fashioned, uncooked) 1/2 cup cooked peas 2 tablespoons chopped onion 2 tablespoons chopped green pepper 2 tablespoons chopped pimiento ¼ cup slivered almonds 2 teaspoons salt ¼ teaspoon pepper 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 2 eggs, beaten 1½ cups milk Heat oven to moderate (350°F.). Combine all ingredients; place in greased aluminum foil-lined 8-inch ring mold (5 cup capacity). Bake in pre
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  • 31

    Fiesta Peach SPAM Loaf

    Fiesta Peach-SPAM Loaf Gay and delicious enough for a party-and look how easy! Cut a SPAM loaf in two crosswise. Between the layers spread canned sweet potatoes, mashed and seasoned. Surround with cling peach slices. Top with 2 or 3 peach slices arranged "fan style." Blend a little syrup from peaches with ½ teaspoon prepared mustard. Bake in moderately hot oven, 400: 30 to 35 minutes.
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  • 32

    For all your Thanksgiving leftovers.

    It's National Use-Up-Your-Leftovers- in-a-Jell-O-Salad Week! Bet you have a dish of leftover peas or b or carrot in the refrigerator right now...to littletoeryone, toomach to thway! tempting Jell-O lade good, All you do is add 2 the of 2 top grated onion 1 cup diced celery and 1 cup leftover vegetables to Don't let this week go by without JELL-O JELL-O
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  • 33

    Ham And Celery Mornay

    Cheezburger Image 10408114432
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  • 34

    Party Chicken

    BABY SHOWER LUNCHEON Tomato Juice Party Chicken Buttered Noodles Green Salad Biscuits or Hot Rolls Angel Food Cake* Ice Cream Coffee *Recipes on page 42 and 43 PARTY CHICKEN 3½ lb. ready-to-cook chicken, cut up 2 cups boiling water 2 Tbsp. chili powder 1/4 tsp. pepper 1/4 tsp. cinnamon 2 Tbsp. grated onion 1 tsp. salt 1/4 cup fat 2 cups unsweetened pineapple juice 2 cups thawed frozen pineapple chunks 2 fully ripe bananas, sliced lengthwise 1 ripe avocado, sliced 1/2 lb. seedless white grapes Pu
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  • 35

    Snowy Chicken Confetti Salad

    Like to fix most of summer supper early? Plan meal around these hearty make- ahead salads Snowy Chicken Confetti Salad is pretty as a ple- ture-creamy white with flecks of pimiento and green pepper. Frame it with a lettuce ruffle. tomato wedges, green-rimmed cucumber slices, radish roses. Pass Parmesan Toast Strips (page 156), fruit punch, canned-peach shortcake.
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  • 36

    Lime Jell-O & Cheese Salad

    LIME CHEESE SALAD Dissolve 1 package Lime Jell-O in 1 cup hot water. Add ¼ cup cold water, 2 tablespoons vinegar, and 1 teaspoon grated onion. Pour cup mixture into 1-quart ring mold. Chill until firm. Chill remaining Jell-O until slightly thick- ened. Then fold in 1 cup cottage cheese, and 1 tablespoon mayonnaise; blend. Pour onto firm Jell-O. Chill until firm. Unmold, Garnish with salad greens. Fill center with seafood salad, Makes 6 servings. JELLO LIME FLAVOR
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