Mom grounds her 25-year-old kid for wanting to go to a LARPing event that costs over $100: 'They owe us $350 in back rent due to us not charging them rent when they weren't working'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 26, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Adult children living at home with their parents can create an awkward dynamic. Usually, the goal of this situation is to save up enough money so the kid can live outside of their parent's house without great struggle, but tensions will rise when you're nowhere close to that goal. Some kids will take advantage of their parents' kindness, and some parents will micromanage their kids' every move and forget that although they're sleeping in the room they slept in as teenagers, they are not teenagers anymore. 

The parent-child relationship at the center of this story appears to be a little fraught. Po, the 25-year-old living at home, pays their parents a modest $100 rent every month and only works part-time because their job won't give them full-time hours. When a LARPing event came around that both Po and their mom were interested in, their mom decided to ground them because they owed her money.

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    Cheezburger Image 10409768960
    via Levi Meir Clancy (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for telling my adult child that they can't have an expensive hobby?
    via Goddess_Fae
  • 03
    For context, I (F45) have 3 adult children (F20, M23, and NB25) with my husband (M46) who all live at home for various reasons. The issue I'm having is with my oldest, "Po." They have been living at home for over a year after having moving in with friends for a while, but the situation turned bad and they needed to come home. Just as with our other children, they are working (PT hours since the place they work for won't give them FT hours), and we only charge them $100/week for rent. The rent in
    via Goddess_Fae
  • 04
    (Side note: the car is actually mine, but since neither my oldest or youngest have a car, they share my car to get back and forth to work, with occasional help from my DH.) The only other expenses they have are their portion of the cell phone service (they are under our account), their portion of the car insurance, student loan payments, and their "splurges." (Meaning Spotify, which they split with our youngest, a subscription to XBox Gold, and another subscription to a Playstation service.)
    via Goddess_Fae
  • 05
    Here's my problem: they enjoy larping (LARP = Live Action Role Play. Think a sort of live action Dungeons and Dragons) However, larping ca get expensive (well over $100). They owe us approx $350 in back rent due to us not charging them rent when they weren't working at one point.
    via Goddess_Fae
  • 06
    Now, I enjoy larping, as well, and plan on going to next month's event. They starting talking about how they're looking forward to the event and how they'll just ride with us plus everything they're planning on doing. This doesn't sit well with me since they owe us money and would be losing money from not working an entire weekend when they don't even work every day of the week. I want to tell them that they can't go for these reasons, but I know there will a lot of backlash, plus they might end
    via Goddess_Fae
  • 07
    We already have somewhat of a strained relationship and that they rarely talk to me unless it's about themselves. They tend to either shut down or explode at me if I say anything that comes across at all criticizing. I have told them them that they can't go and that I will put restrictions on them (like not allowing them out of the house, even to see their friends, except for work and medical appointments; I've already banned them from using the car for anything other than those)? So, AITA for p
    via Goddess_Fae
  • 08
    applebum8807 YTA "I have told them that they can't go and that I will put restrictions on them (like not allowing them out of the house, even to see their friends, except for work and medical appointments; I've already banned them from using the car for anything other than those)" They might be under your roof but you absolutely CANNOT prevent them from leaving the house. They are an adult and some things you simply don't have a say in whether they live with you or not. That's controlling as
    via applebum8807
  • 09
    Wanna ban them from the using your car? Fine. Don't want to take them to your LARP thing? Cool. You can't keep them locked up in your house though. You were mostly reasonable up until this point. Either stop them from using your car or give them X days to pay you back on rent or they need to live somewhere else.
    via applebum8807
  • 10
    Luxor 1978 Does op even understand how illegal locking up their adult children would be?
    via Luxor1978
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    Enough-Designer-1421 OP never mentioned PHYSICALLY RESTRAINING THEM, which would be highly illegal. It seems more like she expects to be able to enforce parent-type disciplines on her adult kids because they are as dependent as if they were children. It's a sad situation, because she can either throw them out (probably best), let them walk all over her, or try to impose consequences like they're teens (not a great idea but I can understand her desperation)
    via Enough-Designer-1421
  • 12
    Wingnut2029 It sounds like she's tired of paying for everything. Kid is behind on rent but expects her to pay his way larping. Sounds like time for some tough love.
    via Wingnut2029
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    Cookingfool2020 According to OP's original post, they are behind only because OP :didn't charge them rent" when they were unemployed. If they didn't charge them rent, how can they be behind?
    via Cookingfool2020
  • 14
    MayaPinjon Yeah, OP wants to "ground" a 25-year-old. And she complains she has a strained relationship with her kid, but when her kid wants to go together with her to a larping event, a shared interest that seems ripe for bonding, and OP wants to ground them. Sounds like maybe OP doesn't want her larping friends meeting her kid...
    via MayaPinjon
  • 15
    Shocked Chicken Yeah, OP needs to decide if they want to be a parent or a landlord because both simultaneously really isn't working.
    via ShockedChicken
  • 16
    Tired Apricot_173 And the type of parenting that they're doing (controlling what they can and can't do with their time and job) is largely over at 18.
    via Tired_Apricot_173
  • 17
    Illustrious-Humor-16 Then kids need to permanently move out.
    via Illustrious-Humor-16
  • 18
    Beautiful-Routine489 It is a MYSTERY why OP's eldest "shuts down or explodes" when OP criticizes →
    via Beautiful-Routine489
  • 19
    deefop I *THINK* that OP just means banning them from using the car, and if they don't live in a walkable area, that can be "effectively" banning them from leaving the house. I grew up in upstate NY a little outside of town, and literally nothing was walkable, except for the neighborhood itself. Without a car, you weren't doing In any case, it sounds like OP's children are pretty dependent, and OP might not be helping the situation by being as lenient as they are, in terms of allowing their kids
    via deefop
  • 20
    I moved out at 24, and it was very clear to me that I was VERY late in getting out of my parents place. But I also took advantage of living there(rent free) to build up savings a lot, go to school, work at least PT(FT when I wasn't in school), and didn't have expensive hobbies, or at least was frugal enough not to spend big money on them. I know my parents would not have been as understanding if I had been burning every paycheck the second it hit my account. All that said, it's an ESH from me.
    via deefop
  • 21
    Freyja2179 But OP's kids aren't living rent free, they pay $400/month. Also their cell phone bills and their portion of car insurance (since they have to share it with their siblings). The biggest thing though is student loan payments. How much is that per month? What is the interest? What percentage of the paycheck? They're not burning their paycheck when it hits their account on expensive hobbies. They're paying rent, car insurance, cell phone and student loans. The $350 is not because they bl
    via Freyja2179
  • 22
    It's not like they've been laying around playing video games for 6 months. They WANT to work full-time but can't get the hours. Though, even if they could, how would that work since they have to share a car. Personally, I think charging your child back rent for the couple of weeks they didn't have a job is pretty You said you didn't pay rent. Did you pay any other expenses? If not, it's a little rich to say OP is being too lenient. It's easier to save up if you don't have expenses that eat the m
    via Freyja2179

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