Woman Contemplates Dropping Husband After He Abandons Her and Leaves the Hospital for the Night While She’s in Labor: ‘I can’t shake the feeling of betrayal’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 4, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

Many women dream of being a mother. What usually completes the dreamy image of pregnancy and childbirth is your partner by your side, unwilling to leave you alone in this vulnerable moment. After all, you both created this new person, a new life. It's only right that both of you are present to support each other, but more so support you, as you are the one pushing the little fella out and will likely need all of the emotional strength you can muster.

The woman in this Reddit story is considering dropping her husband after he abandoned her during childbirth. At first, he was excited and enthusiastic about the idea of having a child. Toward her due date, he began distancing himself from any baby-related conversations, which struck the woman as odd. On the night of her labor, he panicked and told her he wouldn't be able to be in the delivery room with her. He said he'd wait outside, but that does not feel comfortable staying with her. The woman rightfully felt abandoned and vulnerable, and expressed that during that time, she felt it was the loneliest moment in her life. After heading to the recovery room, her husband is nowhere to be found.

Scroll to read the entire story, including some sound advice on what the woman should do moving forward. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

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    vulnerable moments of my life. Every time I look at him, I remember being alone in that delivery room, terrified and in pain, wondering why the person who promised to be by my side wasn't there.
    via pickpik
  • 02
    AITA for Leaving My Husband at the Hospital After He Refused to Be in the Delivery Room with Me?
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 03
    This happened two months ago, but it's still causing major friction in my family, so I need some outside opinions. I (29F) and my husband "Jake" (32M) have been together for six years, married for three. We were both ecstatic when we found out we were expecting our first child.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 04
    Pregnancy was tough for me, though I had severe morning sickness, gestational diabetes, and was generally miserable. But Jake was supportive and sweet the whole way through, which made it bearable.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 05
    As we got closer to my due date, we discussed birth plans. I was adamant that I wanted Jake in the delivery room. I needed his support, and he'd always agreed. However, a few weeks before my due date, Jake started acting
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 06
    strange. He was distant, distracted, and wouldn't engage in any baby-related discussions. I thought he was just anxious about becoming a dad, so I didn't press him too much.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 07
    The day I went into labor, Jake drove me to the hospital but seemed off. He was quiet and kept checking his phone. When we got there, he pulled the nurse aside and spoke to her privately. She came back and told me Jake wouldn't be in the delivery room because he was "uncomfortable
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 08
    with blad and medical procedures." I was stunned. He'd never mentioned this before. I begged him to stay, told him I needed him, but he just kept saying, "I can't do this."
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 09
    I was heartbroken and furious, but I didn't have much time to dwell on it as my contractions were getting stronger. Jake said he'd be in the waiting room and kissed me on the forehead before leaving. I was left alone, crying and feeling utterly abandoned.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 10
    Labor was long, painful, and traumatic. I was alone the entire time except for the medical staff. When our son was finally born, I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. The nurse handed me my son, and all I felt was a deep sadness that Jake wasn't there to share this moment.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 11
    After I was taken to a recovery room, I asked the nurse to get Jake. She came back and said he'd left the hospital hours ago. I couldn't believe it. I called him repeatedly, but he didn't answer. Finally, I sent him a text saying I was done and he could find his own way home.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
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    I didn't see him until the next day. He showed up at the hospital with flowers and an apology, saying he'd panicked and needed some air. He claimed he'd gone home to shower and change and fell asleep, which i didn't buy for a second
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 13
    I told him i didn't believe him. I was overwhelmed with anger and hurt, and I told him he had let me down in the worst possible way. He kept apologizing, saying he knew he'd messed up and he'd do anything to make it right.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 14
    I didn't want him near me or our son at that moment, so I asked him to leave. He tried to protest, but I told him I needed time to process everything. He left, and I spent the rest of my hospital stay alone with my baby, trying to grapple with the enormity of what had happened.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 15
    Since then, Jake has been trying to make amends. He's been taking parenting classes, attending therapy, and is constantly trying to be present and supportive. But I can't shake the feeling of betrayal. He abandoned me at one of the most
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 16
    vulnerable moments of my life. Every time I look at him, I remember being alone in that delivery room, terrified and in pain, wondering why the person who promised to be by my side wasn't there.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 17
    My family is split. Some think I'm being too hard on Jake, that he made a mistake and is clearly remorseful. They say he's a good father and partner otherwise, and I should focus on moving forward for the sake of our child. Others
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 18
    think what he did was unforgivable and I should leave him. They believe I'll never truly trust him again, and that's no foundation for a marriage.
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 19
    I'm torn. I do still love him, and I know he loves me and our son. But part of me wonders if I'll ever get over this. Was it just a moment of weakness on his part, or a sign of something deeper that I can't overlook? So, AITA for leaving him at the hospital and now considering leaving him for good?
    via Anxious_Committee_42
  • 20
    F... 7h ago • Edited 6h ago • But he didn't only bail on the delivery, did he? He bailed. on the entire hospital, didn't even bother leaving you a message, then he ghosted you. What the actual?! Most of the things that go wrong in pregnancy, go wrong. in
    via Frossteekiwi
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    the last few hours of it. How could he have been contacted if you or your son was in a life-threatening situation, or worse? Even if I bought the idea that he was so squeamish he couldn't deal (in which case he should have mentioned that loooong before you
    via Frossteekiwi
  • 22
    went into labour), there are ways he could have supported you up to the last minute, and returned 10 or 15 minutes later. He could have just stepped out of the delivery room itself, briefly; he didn't. He had a choice; you didn't.
    via Frossteekiwi
  • 23
    He made an appallingly bad choice about one of the most crucial events you or he will experience, and he wasn't there – at all. - As a minimum he's an abject coward, but I suspect he's also lying. I think you're right that there's more to this. I'm so sorry.
    via Frossteekiwi

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Dating-Relationships relationship advice aita relationship marriage baby pregnancy drama lies relationship-drama reddit story marriage-drama relationships advice relationship feud new mom pregnant Reddit hiding weird
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