Safe to say, we had more questions than answers. Why buttons? What do the buttons do? How does this make you “more conscious” of time? The meme took off, and it inspired discussion online. Everyone seemed to want to know exactly what she intended to do. She flippantly replied, “Hey so it actually only has to make sense to me for me to do it and I don’t feel like explaining it to anyone else.”
Her refusal to explain exactly what her plan entailed struck an unusual chord. We’re used to knowing every step of what people want to change about themselves. We want them to be legible and replicable. We know all the usual routines and resolutions. We don’t know why someone would want one button for each day of the year, and we can’t stand not knowing. However, instead of writing her off as a singular loon, we should all embrace Tamara’s staunch secrecy when it comes to resolutions.
Making a New Year’s resolution that only makes sense to yourself shouldn’t be that crazy of an idea. They exist for our own benefit anyway, so what good are they to someone else? Nobody else has the same exact struggles that we do, so why should we address them in similar ways? It’s more about what plays on social media rather than what works for us.
Take something like “75 Hard,” the type of challenge that a lot of people embark on at the start of the year. It’s a rigorous set of rules that one must follow for 75 days, including exercising twice a day, drinking a gallon of water, and reading 10 pages of a non-fiction book every day. It can be useful for some to have an external set of rules they have to follow. It’s one size fits all, which can eliminate decisions and give you a sense of community.
But how many people actually finish the 75 days? How many peter out because it eventually becomes incompatible with their needs and lifestyle, or realize that it never was? And for those who do finish, how many revert to their previous habits afterward, burnt out from all the hard work? But it remains relevant because it’s an easy plan to pitch, easy to make a compelling TikTok about, and easy to organize a subreddit around.
via flylikeadove
Self-improvement rules social media. We’re constantly inundated with posts about what we can do in the New Year to make us into somebody else’s idea of a “better person.” It’s a powerful idea. We’re tempted to see the beginning of the year as an opportunity for a fresh start. After all, we’re through with all the chaos of the holidays, and January stretches before us like a cold, endless road. It’s a ripe time to try and fall into a routine, and challenge ourselves to some new goals. But Tamara’s retort that “it actually only has to make sense to me” reminds us to see through this culture of constant self-improvement and get back to what makes sense to us.
The sameness of New Year’s resolutions makes it easier not to do them. They become routine and predictable and never quite feel like they touch something personal within us. They don’t inspire and excite, and we’re then left with the same empty feeling when we inevitably fail to make good on them. But if we think of them as secret wishes for ourselves, then they might start to hold more meaning. They would be more effective if they held deep personal significance, and that doesn’t always translate to universal understanding. If we all had our version of 365 buttons, maybe we’d stick to our resolutions. I bet Tamara is.