‘Their needs are always put first’: Kid refuses to accommodate step-siblings' allergies during birthday dinner, purposely choosing a restaurant they can't eat at, family dispute ensues

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 10, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

We all like to say that we don't care about our birthdays, that we don't mind if people forget, or if we only do something quiet and chill. However, in reality, we always end up secretly getting excited about our birthdays and expecting the world to be extra kind, as if it owes us something on the day we are born.

Do we actually get special treatment on our birthday though? Well, in most cases, not really. The world doesn't really owe us anything on that day, and how it ends up usually depends on the people around us–our friends and family. Sometimes, they rise to the occasion, and plan a great birthday, at other times, you leave kind of… disappointed.

The kid who wrote this Reddit story did everything in their power to enjoy their 16th birthday celebration with their family. This meant that OP (original poster) completely ignored their step-siblings' food allergies, instead choosing their favorite restaurant for the birthday dinner, at which the siblings could not eat. A choice that led OP's father and stepmother to be really disappointed…

Keep scrolling to read the full story. After you are done, click here for a funny collection of Friends memes.

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  • 01
    "I didn't even want them there"
    via RestaurantAnticaRoma

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for picking a restaurant my stepsiblings couldn't eat at?
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 03
    My uncle brought me out to eat on Saturday because he wasn't here for my 16th birthday three weeks ago. He had to take my stepsiblings (13f, 11m) with us. He's not their step-uncle btw. He's
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 04
    my mom's brother. Stepsiblings are my dad's stepkids. But my uncle and dad used to be best friends but their friendship ended when my mom d. d 7 years ago. Things are messy because my uncle still
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 05
    wants to see me and I want to see him but dad doesn't want my stepsiblings left out so they get dragged around sometimes.
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 06
    Something kinda relevant is that my stepsiblings have (not- anaphylactic kind) food allergies. Their allergies are different from each other and they get rashes and puking and stuff from eating foods
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 07
    they're allergic to. This has become such a focus for my dad and their mom that I don't get to eat at places I like, even when my stepsiblings aren't there, because it's not fair. I'm also the only
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 08
    person in the "family" (I think it's more a burden than a family) who never gets to have my favorite restaurant on rotation for eating out. My dad, his wife and both my stepsiblings get their #1 choice but
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 09
    because mine doesn't easily accommodate my stepsiblings I can't have it. All of my top 5 are out. Even for stuff like my birthday. I hate it. I resent it. I don't have the family affection or mushiness for
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 10
    them to make it easier. I just basically sack it up. But when my uncle was taking me I chose my top choice. And he took us. My stepsiblings didn't eat. I
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 11
    didn't even feel bad because their needs are always put first and they shouldn't have been tagging along anyway. Their mom was SO mad when my uncle dropped me off and dad was
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 12
    disappointed in me. He asked me why I chose it and I told him it's my favorite restaurant and it's been almost 6 years since I got to eat there because they decided I can never have it while I live with them.
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 13
    I told him it was meant to be celebrating my birthday and since | get I over when they "celebrate" me because of my stepsiblings, I didn't see why I had to do it when my uncle was taking
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 14
    me. I told him they shouldn't have been there in the first place. I didn't want them there. He was just ୮ with my uncle. His wife heard me say her kids shouldn't have been there and she asked where my compassion is and where
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 15
    my sibling bond went and I told her I never had one. My stepsiblings were really upset they'd been forced to watch two of us eat and that made their mom more angry at me and dad more upset with me especially because I didn't feel bad about it. AITA?
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 16
    Having-hope3594 • 2d ago. Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [322] NTA This was your one time to pick a place that you liked. Your uncle wanted to honor you for your birthday. That's crazy that you can't even go to your preferred places when your step
    via Having-hope3594
  • 17
    siblings are not around. And it's also crazy that your parents forced your uncle to include them. Good for you for finally getting to enjoy a special meal.
    via Having-hope3594
  • 18
    No-Elephant-5814 OP 2d ago • I know. I hate it. They act so surprised then that I'm not close to my dad's wife or my stepsiblings.
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 19
    Comfortable-Sea-2454 • 2d ago Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [364] NTA I feel for your step siblings, BUT to not to get to choose even if step sibs aren't there is all sorts of messed up.
    via Comfortable-Sea-2454
  • 20
    No-Elephant-5814 OP 2d ago • IKR? I don't think my dad realizes that you don't build bonds by enforcing rules like that.
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 21
    Gennevieve1 • 2d ago • ESH except for your stepsiblings. They just got dragged along with no fault of their own. Your parents are the for always prioritizing your stepsiblings over you. To deny you even when they aren't with you is a huge AH move.
    via Gennevieve1
  • 22
    You are TA for blaming your stepsiblings for something that isn't their fault. You don't have to be all BFFs with them but their allergies are real and believe me, it s ks. They didn't want to be allergic either. I get that it all started because of your parents' treatment of all of you but they aren't your enemies.
    via Gennevieve1
  • 23
    Your uncle is TA for dragging them along when he knew there wouldn't be anything for them to eat. Having two kids watch you eat delicious food that they can't have is very mean. He should have refused to take them, or he could have bought them some
    via Gennevieve1
  • 24
    takeout on the way there so they wouldn't starve. I don't blame them for being upset, I'd be upset too. This is something that your parents need to address and fix. I'm really sorry for you, none of it is your fault and yet you're being blamed. Your parents sk.
    via Gennevieve1
  • 25
    No-Elephant-5814 OP • 2d ago My uncle was forced to bring them or he wouldn't be allowed to take me. Dad refuses to let him spend time with just me. He has to include them too even though my uncle doesn't want to. I think he resents it as much as I do because my uncle is nothing to my stepsiblings and he doesn't want to be anything to them.
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 26
    MajorAd2679 • 2d ago • Partassipant [1] ΝΤΑ Sorry that you have such a s' ty dad and stepmonster. Make sure to study hard in school, get a part time job as soon as you can (ask your uncle for help
    via MajorAd2679
  • 27
    opening a bank account so they can't steal your money) and get some sponsorship for college. It's time to plan for your future and escape route. Would your uncle allow you to live with him when you're 18 to help you out?
    via MajorAd2679
  • 28
    No-Elephant-5814 OP • 2d ago • He would. We talk about it sometimes. He thinks it would be cool for us to live together for a while.
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 29
    Gennevieve1 2d ago Believe me, your stepsiblings resent it too. It's not pleasant to be forced to spend time with a person who doesn't want you around. This is all on your parents. They created all this mess.
    via Gennevieve1
  • 30
    No-Elephant-5814 OP 2d ago • It's on my dad. I don't know that his wife would care if they weren't included. But dad wants to get back at my uncle.
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 31
    Titariia 2d ago • What did your uncle say to that situation?
    via Titariia
  • 32
    No-Elephant-5814 OP • 2d ago That I'm not close to them? He knows. He lets me vent to him when we can.
    via No-Elephant-5814
  • 33
    P magic_luver101 • 2d ago • Why is your dad trying to punish your uncle? Does he blame him for your mom's d h or something?
    via magic_luver101
  • 34
    No-Elephant-5814 OP 2d ago • It's because of their friendship ending. I don't know what happened. But I know dad has tried to punish my uncle since by using my stepsiblings as the only way he can see me. And by just insulting him when they talk.
    via No-Elephant-5814

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family drama aita kids birthday mother siblings stepmom reddit story parenting uncle entitled family Reddit entitled people birthday dinner Father
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