Bridesmaid refuses to spend $130 on her bouquet after she bought her own dress and offered to make bouquets for free, bride removes her as a bridesmaid and uninvites her from the wedding: 'The bride said to me that I could attend the after party''

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 10, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

It's easy to underestimate the financial burden of being a bridesmaid. If you're not going on a proper bachelorette trip, which will undoubtedly set participants back a couple of hundred dollars, the only expense you're expected to make is for the bridesmaid dress, which in theory shouldn't cost that much. Some brides are generous enough to cover those costs for their entire wedding party, but not the bride at the center of this story. Instead of thanking her bridesmaids for covering their dresses, she decided they also must cover $130 bouquets, the most expensive option she could've gotten. One of her bridesmaids offered to make the bouquets herself, but the bride rejected them because they weren't the ones she wanted. When that bridesmaid said that she couldn't afford a $130 bouquet, the bride kicked her out of the wedding party and disinvited her from the wedding instead of offering to cover the cost.

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  • 01
    Ch IUIN Marriage of Kissly
    via Wedding Photography

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to spend $130 on a bridesmaid bouquet when I'm the bridesmaid?
    via u/Dramatic_life10
  • 03
    I was a part of one of my close friends bridal parties, she's always struggled financially a little bit and now she's getting married... She asked if us bridesmaids could pay for the dresses, we said yes. Then she asked if we could pay for our own bouquets, I said of course to help her out, later to find out that the bouquets were going to be more expensive than the dress at $130 each!! She chose the most expensive bouquets and I've offered to even make all of them myself but she's refused becau
    via u/Dramatic_life10
  • 04
    I'm the youngest bridesmaid, only in my early 20s, some of the other girls were not too happy about it but I was the only one who said something to the bride, I was polite and just tried to let her know that I have other financial commitments and spending $130 on flowers that will be thrown away after the wedding seems a little steep. She's now removed me as a bridesmaid, I'm not sure what to do, AITA?
    via u/Dramatic_life10
  • 05
    Update: Thanks to everyone for clarifying what I was doubting myself for! And also, for everyone saying to go as a guest, the bride said to me that I could attend the "after party" if I wanted to. I have been uninvited from the whole wedding...
    via u/Dramatic_life10
  • 06
    Update 2: I have a question for y'all as I'm unsure since this was going to be my first wedding and first bridesmaid experience. Seeing as I'm not a bridesmaid anymore, do I give her back the bridesmaid box she made for me when she asked me to be one?? It's got a personalised candle, keychain, wine glass and some other little things in it..
    via u/Dramatic_life10
  • 07
    MrsNobodyspecial67 NTA. If she couldn't afford the flowers how can she expect you too? Just go with the flow, I know she was/is your friend and she will either figure it out or she won't. Brides anymore want more than they can afford and are now expecting bridesmaids to pick up the costs of all the incidentals, such as flowers, bachelorette parties, 3 day weekend trips, jewelry.. it gets crazy. If she doesn't ask you back then be thankful you don't have to deal with it, you will probably find th
    via u/MrsNobodyspecial67
  • 08
    heyhicherrypie Fr!! Everytime I've been a bridesmaid i never paid for anything, all these stories make me way less likely to do it again!
    via u/heyhicherrypie
  • 09
    WittyRequirement3296 This is highly unusual if you are in the U.S. In every wedding I've been in, I've been expected to pay for... the dress, shoes, purse, hair and makeup (often, but not always optional), split the cost of the Bachelorette party (split with other bridesmaids- bride doesn't pay a dime!), bridal shower (split with MOB/MOG and other bridesmaids), wedding gift, hotel before and after wedding (if needed). I have barely ever gotten out of being a bridesmaid for under $2000.
    via u/WittyRequirement3296
  • 10
    Apart-Ad-6518 NTA She's now removed me as a bridesmaid, I'm not sure what to do, AITA Be glad & relieved you don't have to pay anything now/jeopardize your finances for a selfish entitled A H. I've gone real hard on her being t a for expecting others to fund her as opposed being grateful for how kind you all were paying for your dresses but most of all for treating you like sh*t when you offered to make the bouquets.
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
  • 11
    Princess-She-ra Exactly. Count your blessings because I have a feeling it's going to get worse. She should have been so grateful to you when you offered to make the bouquets instead of focusing on the perfect Instagram moments. I'm sorry you're losing a friendship here. It happens in life as we grow and evolve and some people... don't. NTA
    via u/Princess-She-ra
  • 12
    dirtynerdy585 It's normal to pay for a dress if you get to choose the style (if the bride insists on everyone being in the same exact dress I've heard she should foot the bill) It's also normal to pay for hair & makeup if the service is offered (but I've also heard the same where if the bride wants everyone done the same- it's her expense) It is NOT normal to expect bridesmaids to pay for their bouquets and if the bride can't afford her vision she either needs to change her vision or consider al
    via u/dirtynerdy585
  • 13
    Scottishlassincanada I think it's only normalized in the USA. I'm Scottish and no one would dream of asking this of their bridesmaids. I had my bridesmaid dresses made, bought their jewelry, shoes, purses, and paid for hair/makeup and bouquets. You're asking them to stand up with you- you should pay. If you can't afford 5 bridesmaids, then downgrade your numbers to what you can afford. So entitled!!! 'Fur coat and nae knickers' as we say in Scotland.
    via u/Scottishlassincanada
  • 14
    kimba-the-tabby-lion What? Wow! So the price of being friend is $130 bouquet? Luckily, the price of finding out what sort of friend she is, is much cheaper. Honestly, I think you are well rid of her. I'd like to hear how she explains your absence from the reception: "she wouldn't pay $130 for flowers" "she offered to make all the bouquets for the bridesmaids for free". The mind boggles. ETA NTA
    via u/kimba--tabby-lion
  • 15
    Bartok_The_Batty It sounds like she was using you to help finance her wedding.
    via u/Bartok_The_Batty
  • 16
    Equivalent Win8966 NTA. That is cheap as flowers. asking bridesmaids to pay for their
    via u/Equivalent_Win8966

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bachelorette bride wedding party wedding drama bridesmaids Crazy Brides bachelorette party bridal party bouquet reddit story wedding flowers bridesmaid bridezilla Reddit weddings
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