Woman Refuses to Wear 'Ugly, Tacky, and Impractical' Bridesmaid Dress to Cousin's Wedding, Causing a Stir in the Bridal Party

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Oct 14, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Welcome, women of the World Wide Web. Those of us who have been bridesmaids at a handful of weddings know that it is a rite of passage to have to wear a dress that you don't really vibe with. It is something you put up with as a close friend of the bride because you love her, and you want to help her vision of her wedding come to life as smoothly as possible. Also, no matter how beautiful you may think the bridesmaid dresses at your own wedding are, there will likely be at least one person that loathes it, so you might as well swallow your pride for other people's weddings so that they will do so for yours. 

There are occasions were a bridesmaid dress is problematic enough to bring it up to the bride - such as the dress being too revealing or prone to fashion malfunctions, but this was not the case in our story today. The unhappy bridesmaid simply thought that the dress was tacky and not her style and had to be stopped by her sister before she caused a big stink. Get the full details below. 

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  • 01
    r/Amlthe, u/baseball-louie • 8h AITA for telling my sister to just suck it up and wear the bridesmaid dress our cousin chose?
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  • 02
    My cousin Christie (27F) got engaged a few months ago and asked my sister Jessica (20F) and I (25F) to be bridesmaids in her wedding. She recently sent the bridesmaid dress she picked for us in the bridal party group chat, and everyone immediately gushed about how much we loved it, and Christie was clearly very happy and excited about the dress. It's an orange satin dress with a pink floral pattern. It's definitely a very bright and bold choice, but I personally think it's really pretty, and fit
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  • 03
    However, my sister Jessica HATES everything about dress. She thinks the color is ugly, the pattern is tacky, and that satin is impractical for a beach wedding. She does not want to be seen wearing it or have pictures of her in posted on social media. She has been begging me to help her talk to Christie about it and tell her to pick a different dress, or let us choose our own dresses. She also wants to reach out to the other bridesmaids (who are mostly Christie's friends who we barely know yet) a
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  • 04
    I've told Jessica that she just needs to suck it up, because part of being a bridesmaid is realizing the day is not about you or your preferences. We are there to support the bride and make the day special for her. Christie clearly has a certain vision for her dream wedding, and I feel like wearing the dress she wants for one day is not a huge ask.
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  • 05
    Jessica does not see it that way, and believes she should not be made to wear a something she is not comfortable in. It would be different if her discomfort came from the dress being too revealing, or if she wasn't comfortable wearing dresses in general. But her argument basically boils down to the dress being ugly in her opinion and not her style. I don't know how we would confront Christie with this without insulting her taste and potentially hurting her feelings.
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  • 06
    The wedding is still 8 months away, so if I'm the here and should try to change Christie's mind on behalf of my sister, now is the time to do it before everyone has bought the dresses and gotten alterations. But I would rather just avoid the drama. EDIT: since a couple people asked to see the dress I will try to add the link to it. dress
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  • 07
    = Q WEDTREND Home Orange Floral Asymmetrical Floral Print Bright Satin B... -2%
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  • 08
    EDIT 2: Hi, I really appreciate everyone weighing in! It's nice to see that the dress is equally divisive amongst you all as it was between my sister and I. I will be showing this thread to my sister, and I definitely will not be bringing up her problems about taste/style to my cousin (which I never had any desire to do in the first place). However some people have shown me that the site selling the dress has pretty bad reviews, and it may be risky to try to buy from there. Thank you for bringin
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  • 09
    CrimsonKnight_004 • 8h Craptain [179] NTA - I think you're absolutely right that this would be different if her concerns were about the dress being more revealing than she's comfortable with or if she didn't like dresses. But this is just a stylistic difference. I think it's very reasonable for a bride to want her bridal party to stick to a certain theme as long as it's nothing outrageous or unreasonable. This isn't outrageous or unreasonable, it's just a theme. This is the kind of thing where J
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  • 10
    Tight_Jaguar_3881 • 8h I must have had a dozen unwearable anywhere else bridesmaids dresses. They screamed bridesmaid with bows on my back and icky colors one would never wear in NYC. But I never said a word. They were my friends, and I cared about them and wanted their day to be their day. 917
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  • 11
    Apple_Shampoo1234 .7h My friends and I do themed book club nights every month. One month we all wore old bridesmaid dresses and had a contest on whose was the most off the wall dress 722
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  • 12
    Zerpal_Frog 6h One Halloween, I got 4 old prom/bridesmaid dresses from Goodwill or Salvation army and cut them in 4 pieces (2 vertically, 2 horizontally) and sewed them together as one dress. I powered my hair white and went around saying "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride...". I was the Ghost of Weddings Past. 431
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  • 13
    PreparationPlus9735.6h Despite dropping hints that as a large chested girl, strapless is difficult for me, 5 out of 6 weddings I've been in strapless. Looked like a whale. Never complained once lol. Not my day. ← 64
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  • 14
    Either Management813 .7h Partassipant [1] I think it's a rite of passage to have at least one bridesmaid dress you hate and would never wear again. Eventually they all went to a donation box in my care. NTA 83
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  • 15
    hopeandnonthings • 6h Exactly what I was thinking the whole time... there's always the option to not be a bridesmaid. Ops sister is the a hole, the cousin wants her there with her on her big day, but cousin isn't important enough to her to be seen on social media wearing that dress. I don't know if it's just me, but when I see wedding photos I don't go out of my way to judge what the bridesmaids wear since, they usually don't get to pick it or at least not the color ... 70
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  • 16
    OnyxEyez • 5h Agreed. I would HATE the dress, but for someone I cared about, i would suck it up and then give it away asap lol. 10
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  • 17
    speakeasy12345⚫ 4h Partassipant [1] I've been in weddings where the dress was definitely not one I would have chosen for myself, but, not my wedding, not my choice. This is one of those situations you suck it up because you love the person asking and want to make their day special. When your sister gets married she can choose the dresses she wants and tell her bridesmaids to take it or leave it. The reality is that it is really difficult to pick a dress that everyone in the bridal party will lik
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  • 18
    PercyWallace ⚫ 8h My buddy is a huge Miami Dolphins fan and that was his wedding theme.... Dolphin's colors (we live in Illinois btw) I had to wear a white suit with a green vest and an orange tie. It was ridiculous. But he thought enough of me to make me one of his groomsmen so I rocked that like it was my funeral on prom night. Being in a bridal party is an honor, sooooo not only is your sister an she's an ungrateful Reply 484
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  • 19
    NTA MissNikiL 8h Might be time to show your sister 27 Dresses. Honestly your sister either needs to step out of the bridal party or get over it. The dress has nothing to do with her and everything to do with what the bride wants. Acting like a brat about it isn't going to do anything other than make her look like a brat. I look like a sickly Victorian child in certain colors but if my friend wanted that color for her bridesmaids I would wear it gladly. If nothing else it would make her look even
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  • 20
    LadyAlexTheDeviant⚫ 8h NTA. Sucking it up and wearing a dress you NEVER would have worn in a million years is a time-honored part of being a bridesmaid. Reply 670
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  • 21
    Having-hope3594. 8h Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [335] NTA Oh my, reaching out to other bridesmaids. Trying to make a case to the bride. This could stir up a lot of problems and drama for your cousin. Which is, of course, the opposite of what bride maids are supposed to do. Which is to support the bride. Good call on your part. ... Reply û 37 ♡
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  • 22
    TheHonPonderStibbons • 6h NTA. TBH, I hate the dress, too. Definitely not a colour I would choose, no sleeves, especially in a tropical location where sun protection is vital, and I loathe the feeling of satin. BUT all of these are a me issue, not a bride issue. Everything you said is correct. Your sister can either a) suck it up for the day b) respectfully talk to the bride about her concerns and see if a compromise can be reached WITHOUT involving the other bridesmaids or c) remove herself fro
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  • 23
    Competitive-Metal773 7h NTA. Believe me. I can sympathize with your sister. I am terribly self conscious and luckily the couple of weddings I've stood up in did not result in disastrous fashion. However I am also an actor and when I think about some of the more cringeworthy getups I've had to wear onstage I still shudder. But the costumer came up with them and the director approved, so I wore them and did my job.
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  • 24
    As others have said, if there was a legit reason for concern such as an overly revealing fit or wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, that's one thing. But in this particular case it doesn't sound like there is. Her choices here are to wear it and put on a smile for your cousin's big day, or step down (and if she's at all smart she'll come up with a better excuse than not liking the dress, even if she has to fib.)
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  • 25
    I think you already know it's best not to get involved. Aside from trying to talk her out of stirring up drama there isn't much you can do. Make it clear that you love her and understand her feelings, but if she wants to make herself look like an unhinged maidzilla she is on her own. ← Reply 9 3
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