Chicago student gets banned off dating apps, writes essay pleading for Elon Musk to buy them: 'No company is as shockingly evil'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 16, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

If you have ever used a dating app, the chances are you have a horror story or two about the experience. It's hardly groundbreaking to say that Tinder, Hinge, and similar have been getting increasingly bad press over the past couple of years. It leaves connection-hungry singletons with somewhat of a dilemma, which they approach in a number of different ways. However, it is fair to say that most of them aren't petitioning one of the richest men in the world just because they got banned.

This is exactly what one student and unsuccessful online dater has been receiving viral notoriety for, after penning an essay on X/Twitter about how to fix the perceived injustices of dating app land. It's fair to say that his thesis was not received well, with many pointing out that the reason he got banned may have been more than just an unfair prejudice. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10416567552
    via Mikail Duran

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    Daniel Schmidt ❤ @realdschmidt Follow If @Elon Musk wants to raise birthrates, he should purchase Match Group, the company that controls Tinder and Hinge ―over half of the online dating market. No company comes close to Match Group's chokehold on modern love. And, as you'll discover, no company is as shockingly evil.
    via realdschmidt
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    I first encountered Match Group three years ago when I began college. I was ... but I didn't want to hook up with random girls so I downloaded Hinge. I went on a few dates. There was one girl that I really started to like. Then I woke up one morning and was suddenly banned. Did you know you can get banned on Hinge if just one woman reports you for whatever reason she wants? Maybe she didn't like your bio. Or maybe your ex found you. And if you do get banned, did you know the app sends an email t
    via realdschmidt
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    You think you can outsmart the system and create a new account? That will require a new phone and a new phone number. You will also need to use a different name and birthday on your account and create the account from a different Wi-Fi and GPS location. You need entirely new photos as well. And that will probably still not work because the apps likely use facial recognition and will detect you. Whatever technology you think these apps have, they're far beyond that.
    via realdschmidt
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    I've learned all of this because of a subreddit called r/SwipeHelper. The entire purpose of the community is to help men get unbanned from Hinge and Tinder. There are 34,000 members. But hard bans are not even the worst thing Match Group does. Those bans are quite generous, actually, as they at least prevent men from purchasing subscriptions or boosts. Indeed, there is a much more subtle punishment in the form of a shadow ban, which throttles the visibility of a man's account and pushes him to s
    via realdschmidt
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    Eleven days ago, someone claiming to have worked in quality assurance for various dating apps wrote a post on r/SwipeHelper. Their post went into great detail about their work and aligns precisely with what many people have observed for years, so I'm inclined to believe it. I'll link to it in a comment below. This person says their job was to handle reports about users and decide a punishment. They note that one of the most common reports women make about men is “I just don't like him.” The insi
    via realdschmidt
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    The person adds that whether someone gets hard-banned or shadow-banned depends on whether someone is a "repeat offender." If someone has received several reports, they'll more likely get shadow-banned to waste their time and make them think they can still use the app. It is in this state that men feel worthless. Weeks pass, and they receive zero messages, zero likes, and zero matches. They become desperate and start purchasing boosts and subscriptions. How much money does Match Group, with a mar
    via realdschmidt
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    Match Group has a direct incentive to make it impossible for men to find love. You can say these men should meet women in person, but do they even have the confidence to do that now? If they get literally zero matches on a dating app, what makes them think they'll be successful in real life? How many give up outright? A billionaire like Elon could purchase a majority stake in Match Group for less than $5 billion. The first step? Make the algorithm public. Show everyone how these apps have been m
    via realdschmidt
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    The rest is simple: eliminate shadow banning, offer amnesty to banned users, and make the algorithm fair. That alone would lead to countless new relationships. Online dating is the future. Our society has become far too atomized and distrustful for in-person meetups to ever have a renaissance. Men fear face-to-face rejection; women fear "creeps." Media indoctrination has ensured these dynamics are here to stay. Trying to overcome them is futile. What can be overthrown, however, are the malicious
    via realdschmidt
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    Let dating apps serve society. The future awaits. H -
    via realdschmidt
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    Carlos Davila @Carlosdavila007 .4d Replying to @realdschmidt and @elonmusk or just go touch some grass
    via Carlosdavila007
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    90 Days Liquidity @90daysliquidity Follow Replying to @realdschmidt and @elonmusk Yeah I'm not reading all this but it's clearly a horrendous self report. If you're shadow banned, it's because you were freaking out their most important users (women) because you're a weirdo
    via 90daysliquidity
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    Jacson A. Bevens @Jacson Bevens Follow Replying to @realdschmidt and @elonmusk You couldn't drag this out of me with a team off horses
    via JacsonBevens
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    2.0 @blixberrie 19h Replying to @realdschmidt and @elonmusk Such a long tweet to just say "women do not like me❞
    via blixberrie
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    Ash @Must_be_Ash - 4d Replying to @realdschmidt and @elonmusk My guy, Elon is the last person to help you. First thing he did was to suppress the accounts of users who don't pay :)
    via Must_be_Ash
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    • marty @MartyBurns74 13h Replying to @realdschmidt and @elonmusk Ladies: find yourself a man who doesn't get banned from dating apps and then writes a novel about how he was wronged
    via MartyBurns74
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    Robot James @therobotjames Follow Replying to @realdschmidt and @elonmusk thanks for this essay length love letter to your creepy skill issue
    via therobotjames
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    Wilnel hypocal Lead Actor from Pixar's... @ByYourLogic Follow I have never been less surprised to see "UChicago" on someone's profile
    via ByYourLogic
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    Jessica @BunnyJugs 20h Begging Elon Musk to buy dating apps so you can get unbanned since you can't| is certainly something irl
    via BunnyJugs
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    Dragon (Resident Vamp... @DragonFishOfish Every time, man Follow #DO WOMEN FIND ME CREEPY? 曲 NO, IT'S THE ALGORITHM THAT IS WRONG. imgflip.com
    via DragonfishOfish
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    kendrick lobstar @KLobstar • 16h poor old dude was weird on one date and now he's stuck writing war and peace on the timeline
    via KLobstar

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