‘[We] won’t help you': Snitching Kevin makes enemies in the neighborhood, then pays the piper when nobody bothers to stop a band of late-night robbers

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 26, 2024 7:00 AM EDT

Don't make enemies with your neighbors. 

This neighborhood Kevin learned the hard way that having allies in your cul-de-sac is more valuable than keeping tabs on the people next door. But I get it, there are rules in an HOA that every neighbor is supposed to follow, but when you have a new renter moving in next door, it's probably wise not to burn a bridge with them over trivial snitchings. 

The renter in our next story found himself in a snitching loop with the Kevin next door after allegedly 'barbecuing incorrectly' earlier this summer. The grouchy busybody next door took his complaint straight to the HOA without as much of a chat with the new neighbor, and even the HOA believed the complaint was a little misplaced. Although this renter wasn't committing any infractions, he realized he was going to have some problems with the snitch. So after getting reported multiple times for a myriad of menial infractions, this renter did what we all would do… Nothing. 

Late one night, the Kevin next door was getting burgled by a band of hoodlums and the neighbor noticed, but decided to tuck himself back into bed, letting the chips fall where they may. And that's how this Kevin learned to be a little more friendly at the block parties from now on…

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    Cheezburger Image 10420239872
    via Hendrik David from Getty Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Neighbor reported me to the HOA. Just watch his home burgled. I have a neighbor who is the physical manifestation of a busybody. Literally always in everyone's business. Spends
    via CinderellaSwims
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    hours a day standing at the cul-de-sac mailbox to see what people are getting. I'm a renter and he's complained several times that I haven't replanted flowers in the "right" spots. The peak was
    via CinderellaSwims
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    earlier this summer when he reported I was "grilling too close to structures" and claiming his hedge as a structure. HOA found no fault but sent a "guidelines reminder".
    via CinderellaSwims
  • 05
    Tonight I woke up to my dog woofing. I peeked out my window and saw a car across the street. Three people got out and walked in to my neighbors garage side door.
    via CinderellaSwims
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    I put my dog in the kennel and I'm going back to sleep now. Don't be an a h le to your neighbors. They might not hurt you, but they sure as won't help you. Not even sure this is revenge. Just the most intense form of apathy.
    via CinderellaSwims
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    BadgerDoesntCare You should complain to HOA that he had too many guests late at night and they disturbed your dog sleep routine lol
    via BadgerDoesntCare
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    ColonelBelmont Also, one of his burglars parked more than 4 inches away from the curb. I have photo evidence.
    via ColonelBelmont
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    Lem1618 I rented a flat on a property with a couple of houses on it and a shared street gate. My place was right at the gate. Often people would just leave the gate open, an electric gate mind you, all they had to do was push a button. Asking them to please close it didn't help. One night on my way to
    via Lem1618
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    the toilet I saw one of the neighbours push starting his car out the gate. I thought about helping him and decided screw him he leaves the gate open the most. The next morning they came knocking, apparently their car got stolen during the night, asked if we saw anything. I just said, some idiot probably left the gate open again.
    via Lem1618
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    Vivenna99 This just reminded me of a time in high school when we all wanted late night Snacks my friend's parents were asleep so we had the idea to roll his car out of his driveway so it wouldn't wake him up and his neighbor came running out and speared my best friend cuz he thought we were stealing the car. Super funny. Good guy
    via Vivenna99
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    DoctorPhobos Be sure to ask about the "relatives" that arrived last night and ask why they didn't go through the front door. So nice when family visits
    via DoctorPhobos
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    DeBaconMan I love revenge when all it takes is to refrain from interfering. Be a snoopy neighbor and let us know how much they got away with. Also, just some advice, if they got away with a lot and didn't get caught, they might see your neighborhood as the easy target and come back. Invest in some security beyond your dog.
    via DeBaconMan
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    gimvaainl We had a neighbor with a bright light on a pole that came on every night to light up the whole property and by proximity - ours (unpleasantly). Y'know - for security. One night my old man saw someone poking around their place and
    via gimvaainl
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    paused but didn't do anything because IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL TO POKE AROUND IN THE LIGHT! If it was dark and we saw flashlights flippin around that be different. It was a "summer place", too. So guy came up a month or so later asking if we saw anything. Tired
    via gimvaainl
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    AdSuspicious9510 As a Brit, this HOA sounds like an absolute load of nonsense. Like we don't have enough to deal with, adding an extra layer of entitled, narcissistic helmets into the mix is a recipe for disaster.
    via AdSuspicious9510

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deserved robbed hoa neighbors break in justice neighborhood revenge snitching Burglary petty robber pay the price snitch payback karma karen kevin neighbor burglar
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