‘It’s just basic respect’: Woman refuses to watch sister's 3 kids after she cancels on her last minute, sister expects her to take off work for the same reason days later

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Nov 3, 2024 5:00 PM EST

When folks decide to have children, they usually need to consider how they'll go about getting childcare for their tiny tots. If they're the type of people who would prefer to have a lot of alone time, maybe they should shift their perspective a bit until they decide when they truly want to settle down and start a family. 

There's no shame in waiting! If you have kids sooner than what currently fits your lifestyle, you might end up messing up other individuals' days and schedules—especially if they're people you rely on for childcare and then cancel on 'em at the last minute. That's one way to show someone how much you don't value their time and effort. 

The original poster (OP) of this story accepted her sister's plea for her to take time off of work to watch her three children while she and her husband go on an anniversary trip. So, the OP rearranged her schedule and made plans for her nieces and nephews to stay with her. Then, her sister canceled last minute without so much as a sorry. Then, has the audacity to ask her to watch them again. You can't make this up.

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    So, my (29M) sister (32F) has three kids (10, 7, 5). Last month, she asked me if I could watch them for a weekend while she and her husband went on a short anniversary trip. I
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    agreed because I love my nieces and nephew, but I made it clear that I needed at least two weeks' notice because I work long hours, and I'd have to rearrange my schedule.
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    Fast forward to this past week. I asked my boss for time off, cleared my weekend, and stocked my house with everything the kids would need. Friday afternoon rolls around, and I'm waiting for her to
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    drop them off. Suddenly, I get a text from her saying they're not coming. She decided last minute that they were going to a family-friendly resort instead and didn't need
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    me to watch them anymore. No apology, just, "We'll do it another time." I was frustrated because I had completely cleared my weekend, turned down plans with friends, and
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    rearranged my work schedule for this. I responded by telling her it wasn't cool to cancel on me last minute like that, especially when I went out of my way to help.
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    Then, two days later, she called me again asking if I could watch the kids the following weekend. Apparently, something came up with her original plan, and she needed someone to watch them
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    after all. I told her no, I wasn't available. She got upset and said I was being selfish and punishing her kids for something that wasn't their fault. Now she's mad at me, and my parents are saying I
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    should be more understanding because "things come up when you're a parent." I don't have kids, but I feel like it's just basic respect to not cancel on someone last minute and then expect
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    them to be available whenever you want. So, AITA for refusing to watch my sister's kids after she canceled on me last minute?
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    Edit: Wow, I didn't expect so many NTA responses! Thanks, everyone. I was starting to feel guilty about standing my ground, but it's good to hear that others agree it's important to set
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    boundaries, even with family. I love my nieces and nephew, but my time is valuable too, and I'm glad I'm not being unreasonable here. Thanks again for all the support!
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    rst012345 6h ago . Nta just tell them you cannot rearrange your schedule back to back like this, and you told her you need at least 2 weeks, so she already knew that chances were very unlikely. Her trying to guilt you is in poor taste.
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    Additionally, just because your sister was inconsiderate and you are now saying no, this does not mean you are not punishing the kids. I'd probably emphasize that point the most. Instead of having her
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    ask for a weekend for you to babysit, you could ask for a weekend to take them in the future for a makeup weekend for bonding. Take control of when you see them instead of relying on your flakey sister.
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    hushnecampus • 6h ago NTA. You're not punishing the kids, you're punishing her. The kids will be fine, it's just gonna be a PITA for her to make sure they're fine.
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    As for what your parents said: yeah, I'm sure things do come up when you handle kids, but it's your responsibility as a parent to handle those things. Anyway, this wasn't "something coming up", it was her deciding to take them with her cos she wanted to.
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    miosassy • 6h ago . NTA. It sounds like your sister really took advantage of your kindness. You had plans and made sacrifices. She should respect your time too. Good on you for stickng to your boundaries.
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    Portable Hobbit • 6h ago . NTA. Tell them your work won't let you rearrange your schedule again and that you are more than willing to watch them if given two weeks notice so you can get your schedule sorted.
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    PensionLegitim... • 6h ago NTA. You're not punishing her kids you're punishing her as you well should be. Just because you don't have kids does NOT make your time less valuable than hers.
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    Any-Expression... . 6h ago. Parents need to own up to the fact they created something their responsible for. If they can't be decent people and give proper notice to the people they reach out to for help or they can't figure it out on their own, then they need to deal with it and cancel whatever event is causing them issues.
    via Any-Expression2246

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