Mom scolds homeschooled 14-year-old after he enters her house uninvited to look for her son, wonders if she went too far: 'When no one answers the door, you walk away'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Uninvited guests are the kind of people who get very different responses based on culture and circumstance. That being said, it's pretty much a guarantee that nobody is going to like it if you decide to do the equivalent of breaking into their house. There are certain boundaries that shouldn't be crossed, and this is one of them. Everybody is entitled to a level of privacy and safety in their own homes.

This was the mindset that one mom was operating from when an acquaintance of her teenage son persistently attempted to get his attention by banging on the door of their house. Although the son wasn't there, the other boy proceeded to walk into the home to try and find him. The mom eventually got the chance to tell him that she didn't appreciate this behavior, but she wasn't sure she had done the right thing. Parenting other people's kids is even more difficult than doing it with your own.

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    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for telling a homeschool kid who broke in, to GTFO of my house?
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  • 03
    AITAH for telling a mom that her 14 year old son is not allowed to come into my house if no one is answering the door? (homeschooled, no delays, is of normal intelligence, but has no school friends, fine, whatever, but it feeds into the story)
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  • 04
    Timeline: 2:00pm My also 14 year old son and I were at a neighbor, he eventually walked back to my house with his friend (yet another neighbor). I told him about this kid being nearby and to expect him to maybe try to catch up with them. He blew it off. Fine. 3:30pm I walked back in the same direction and went to yet another person's house along the way to say hi. I visit them like once or twice a month because they never ever go to anyone's house at all but she is up on current events, so I lik
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  • 05
    4:00pm By the time I got home my son was not home with his friend or even the other kid, obviously. So, I was alone in the house with my pre- teen daughter. My daughter updated me to say her brother went to the friend's house to play basketball instead. So I asked her, what happened with the third kid? Did he go too or did he come by too late? She tells me the kid came by after the other two already left and that the boy was banging endlessly on the door. It really creeped her out, because she w
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  • 06
    4:15pm I am falling asleep on the couch in the back den since all is so quiet. Then, the banging starts again. My son was still not home, my daughter already ignored him the first time, and I was snoozing in the back so I ignored this second time. Then, immediately after the banging, this time the combo lock is being fumbled with so I was certain that it was actually my son who had to bust in quick to use the bathroom really fast. Bu that wasn't the case. Usually my son is loud and would have sp
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  • 07
    5:15pm - The kid comes back a 3rd time and bangs and bangs until we came down to tell him 1) my son is clearly still NOT home, or he would have answered the door for you and 2) you may not ever enter my house when the door is shut and no one seems to be around. He came up with a lame excuse like oh the door was wide open and I leaned on it and fell inwards and yeah, sorry about that. I did share the story with the mom the next day. Who is the A? OPINION? AITAH?
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  • 08
    EDIT: When I told the mother, she focused on the lock whether he knew the code or whether the door was "open" and when I told her the point of all this is to property train her son so he does not have criminal issues as an adult, she then went into attack mode to tell me yes he admitted coming in and even seeing the time on the oven in the kitchen, but then left right away therefore I should either a) call the police and file a report or b) accept that her kid was entitled to walk in! I went to
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  • 09
    JTBlakeinNYC NTAH. This kid let himself into your house repeatedly. I think it's time to change the codes and keep the doors locked at all times. Maybe get a door camera as well.
    via JTBlakeinNYC
  • 10
    xLilyLove Absolutely agree. This kid seriously crossed a line by entering your home without permission. Changing the codes, locking the doors, and installing a camera are all great steps to protect your space and reinforce boundaries OP. NTA
    via xLilyLove
  • 11
    goddess_evelynXO NTA. The kid overstepped boundaries by entering your house without permission, and you had every right to tell him not to do it again. It's understandable that your daughter felt uncomfortable, and it's good you clarified the boundaries with his mom so it doesn't happen again. You set a clear boundary to protect your family's privacy, which is completely reasonable.
    via goddess_evelynXO
  • 12
    fleshjenn Your 14yr old does not need you to setup playdates. Stop inviting people over for your kids without their permission. I wouldn't be surprised if your son stayed gone trying to avoid this kid.
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  • 13
    SelectAd6986 OP Yes. You are right thanks for the feedback!
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  • 14
    j sneakystairs Exactly this kid has no social skills because he sadly is ostracized and hasn't learned proper boundaries. And his of a mom isn't doing him any favors. I commented elsewhere from a place of empathy for the kid BTW. I definitely think he blew thru a boundary and crossed a line, but i think he just needs empathy and explaining of social norms and protocol
    via sneakystairs
  • 15
    nylonvest NTA. This kid's behavior is completely out of bounds. Knocking a couple of times, loudly, is one thing. Banging on the door over and over as if you MUST be let it or acknowledged is scary and unwelcome. And then he starts just trying to come in when the door is locked and no one is answering which is CRIMINAL behavior.
    via nylonvest
  • 16
    SelectAd6986 OP Thanks. Well, that is the whole thing, this 14 year old still need to be taught social lessons and based on the mother's reaction, its no wonder the kid is growing up to be a creep. All I wanted to do is teach the kid. It was a teachable moment and I was willing to accept that, even at this stage. Based on the mother's reaction, I am now certain that she will have at least two criminal offspring in her future. So f 'em entirely.
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  • 17
    Popular-Bench-8683 YTA for inviting that kid to hang out with your son. If he wanted to hang out with that kid, he would have asked himself. He blew you off because you are overbearing. He is too old for you to decide who he should be hanging out with. Don't ever invite someone to be with him again. You seem very social (in need of other people) but others might not be that way.
    via Popular-Bench-8683
  • 18
    MainDiscipline7269 NTA and change the code. Better yet, get something that will fingerprint so the little demon doesn't see if being used and remember it.
    via MainDiscipline7269
  • 19
    SelectAd6986 OP He is a demon! he taunts and teases other kids and she refuses to believe her kid is headed down a path of criminality. I tried to tell her and wasn't even thinking of the cops as I do know her. that she actually needs to be taught But this is major bulls basic rights herself.
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  • 20
    Fickle_Toe1724 NTA. Have the police talk to the family. If he EVER does it again, call the police for an intruder. It is breaking and entering. Since the mom does not want to teach her kids, let the police do it for her.
    via Fickle_Toe1724
  • 21
    petiteballet Nope, NTA. Kid broke in after no one answered? That's a major boundary issue. At 14, he should know better!
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  • 22
    zanne54 NTA and I would have gone so absolutely ballistic on that kid and their mother they'd be afraid to ever make eye contact with me again.
    via zanne54
  • 23
    cathline Proud of you for calling the police on this budding trespasser. NTA He should be in a real school where he can learn real manners. His 'home school' is obviously lacking in training in real world scenarios where he can be arrested.
    via cathline
  • 24
    Lazy-Instruction-600 NTA. Your pre-teen daughter was "uncomfortable". Let's just admit that it is scary for a kid to have someone banging on the door endlessly when home alone and to then have someone enter the home uninvited. This boy is 14, has zero manners and his mom seems to think he is entitled to just walk into other people's homes. What would he have felt entitled to if he found your daughter there alone? His mother needs to remove her head from her and teach her son to be a gentleman. I
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  • 25
    HappyGothKitty NTA OP, but please don't just invite neighborhood kids to spend time with your kids, you don't know if your kids even want to spend time with them, like this kid, maybe there's a really good reason the other kids don't want to spend time with him. And then you're the dumbass parent 'forcing' your kids to spend time with the creepy weird kid who has no boundaries. Just please ask your kids next time, in private, not in front of the other kids parents. How safe would your daughter h
    via HappyGothCity

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