16-year-old asks teacher not to pair him with the daughter of his deadbeat dad, daughter won't take no for an answer: 'I told her I wasn't interested, we're not family'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 8, 2024 8:00 PM EST

It's so wild how easy it is to be a deadbeat dad. You could conceive a child, skip town, and conceive another child 3 days later. The power of the male reproductive system is often used in an evil way…just look at Nick Cannon! He had 5 kids who were born in the year 2022 alone, with two of them being born in the same month to two different mothers. There's no way he's a consistent presence in the lives of all 12 of his children, and that's tragic no matter how much money he's paying in child support.

Some dads are deadbeats to one kid and perfect parents to another. Very people can have a secret family and balance them both equally, but they can sure abandon one kid to raise another or have a secret kid nobody ever finds out about. The dad in question is certainly the run and start over type. 

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  • 01
    4-foxx
    via Giulia Squillace (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for requesting that my teacher not partner me with my deadbeat father's daughter?
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 03
    My father walked out on my mom when she was pregnant with me (16m). They were married for like 5 years at that point but he was cheating a lot. Mom trying to divorce him went through h I because they'd picked up and moved. He never met me. He didn't show up at court for their divorce, or for custody, or for child support. He went to jail three times for failure to pay child support and for trying to avoid child support by quitting his jobs and not declaring his new place of employment.
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 04
    I still haven't even met him. But around a year ago he moved back with his family (the affair partner and their kids). He has a daughter 5 months younger than me a son about a year and a half younger and some other kids who are younger again but I don't know their ages. I only know the older two ages because of school and sharing some classes with his daughter.
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 05
    She has tried to connect with me but I told her I wasn't interested, we're not family, I don't want to know the affair family. Even though she was upset and cried a little in front of me, she didn't give up. And when we returned to our classes in August she was suddenly in four of mine instead of one like last year. So I went to our teacher who assigns a lot of group stuff and asked her to never pair me with her. I explained the reason why and she was surprised but agreed that it would be for th
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 06
    Twice she has tried to claim me as a partner or make me a part of her group. The first time as her solo partner and the second time in a bigger group. Both times our teacher refused.
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 07
    This made her realize what I'd done. She told her parents, they went to the principal and demanded a meeting with me and my mom. Mom went but left me out of it and explained why to the principal and told him she didn't think the first time I meet my "father" should be when he wants to berate me for not working with his daughter. They tried to say I was bu ying their daughter and I should be facing suspension OR be forced to make it up to her through some kind of buddy program. The principal didn
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 08
    Mysterious_Agent7737 NTA. Be polite (like extremely polite no ma'am i do not wish to engage in conversation with you have a wonderful day excuse me, walk away polite) when they talk to you so you don't get accused of bu ying, but no need to be friends. If your father wants you to have a relationship with his family then he needs to have a relationship with you first. As far as their staring and her friends telling you that you were a that is bu ying. Tell a trusted teacher about the incidents sa
    via u/Mysterious_Agent7737
  • 09
    Careful_Will_7767 OP I told the teacher who knew about this stuff already. She's watching out for it in her class now but she also asked others to do it too.
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 10
    No-Introduction3808 Not sure how your school does it, but if possible ask the teacher if they know who does the class assignments and for next year see if there's someone who can look out for you during the process and where possible keep you in different classes.
    via u/No-Introduction3808
  • 11
    East Parking8340 I do wonder what story the deadbeat spun to his 'new' family about the one he discarded and his infidelity to his spouse with their mother? Surely the kids can do the math. I'd bet almost anything that the kids think that your mother was the AP.
    via u/East_Parking8340
  • 12
    BarracudaUpstairs NTA - the girls parents handled this horribly. It was her dad's job to explain why their is animosity and take the blame for the root issue.
    via u/BarracudaUpstairs
  • 13
    Careful_Will_7767 OP She knows her dad abandoned me but she thinks because she didn't have anything to do with that I should still want to know her and care about her and her siblings as siblings.
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 14
    perpetuallyxhausted NTA you've never even met her dad, but now she wants to be all buddy-buddy with you because of your supposed "connection" though him? No way. She's young but she needs to learn boundaries and how to respect when people say no.
    via u/perpetuallyxhausted
  • 15
    Sidenote: NGL I think I'd have loved to see the principals face when your mum said "I don't think the first time my 16yo son meets his bio-dad is cause bio- dad has called him to the principals office over a conflict with his other teen kid"
    via u/perpetuallyxhausted
  • 16
    sheath2 I think it's hilarious that he thinks it's the school's responsibility to force a relationship when he has failed, in every way as a parent and an adult, toward OP. If he was actually acting like a parent, he'd have made this relationship possible himself instead of making his kid everyone else's responsibility but his.
    via u/sheath2
  • 17
    Let's face it -- he didn't show up at that meeting because he's concerned about his kids. He showed up because his family drama just blew up in his face and everyone is about to know what a father he is.
    via u/sheath2
  • 18
    Brother-Cane NTA, but if you know where the loser is now, why isn't your mother pursuing the money she is owed?
    via u/Brother-Cane
  • 19
    Careful_Will_7767 OP She's getting it again now but he owes some backdated stuff too. So it's still being paid and will be paid until I'm about 22 because of how much he owes from the times he stopped/evaded it.
    via u/Careful_Will_7767
  • 20
    MeMyselfAnd18480 It's absurd to claim you're bu ying someone, when you've gone out of your way to make arrangements so you have no contact with her. Ignoring her is the complete opposite of bulling, and if anything, she's harassing you, by constantly pushing the issue. You're definitely NTA. I feel you did the mature and appropriate thing by addressing this privately with your teacher, rather than make a scene in front of her or the whole class. Her inability to accept "NO" as answer is her prob
    via u/MeMyselfAnd18480
  • 21
    Mystic_printer_ Well ignoring someone can be a form of bu ying but it absolutely is not in this case. OP has done everything right, he stated that he was not interested and asked teachers to keep them from having to work together. She's been overly pushy and is now in bu ying territory with the staring and bringing her friends into this.
    via u/Mystic_printer_
  • 22
    procrastinating_b ΝΤΑ It's easy for the child with the 'perfect' family to want to be the one to connect. I'm sorry you are going though this.
    via u/procrastinating_b
  • 23
    PanicAtTheGaslight You are NTA. There's a very relatable scene from Grey's Anatomy... Lexie: I am a nice person, okay? I... I am and I don't know what it is that I did to you but you know... We have the same dad, so I was just thinking that a simple conversation...
    via u/PanicAtTheGaslight
  • 24
    Meredith: We don't have the same dad, Lexie. You and I, we do not have the same dad. My dad disappeared when I was five years old and I never saw him again. Does that sound like the dad you grew up with? I kicked a man out of my bed in the middle of the night. The world's most perfect man, who loves me. And I can't let him. And it doesn't take a shrink to figure it out why. Because our dad chose you. So I'm sure you are a very nice girl, Lexie. But I hope you can understand, you're not a girl I
    via u/PanicAtTheGaslight
  • 25
    Mrs_Totaro13 NTA and I would actually consider it harassment. You don't owe her anything, speak with your mom and the Principal and teachers about her attitude and what she's doing because you might look like the Villain to everyone around you just because she's not getting her way. Bl d isn't everything if you don't want a relationship with any of them then don't have one. Maybe do talk to her directly and tell her you want nothing to do with her and if she and your dad want to have a relations
    via u/Mrs_Totaro13

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teens family drama school deadbeat principal teenagers reddit story teacher parenting dad high school family reddit thread daughter Reddit mom son
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